


Distorted.

by Ikki_oboeteru



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Did I ever tell you jumin is one hell of a puzzle?, I really can't promise anything, I will add more tags as the chapter progress, JUMIN NEEDS HUGS, M/M, Unrequited Love, V/Jumin Han - Freeform, Zen Hyun Ryu / Jumin Han, Zen/Jumin, mention of rape
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-22 02:29:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 44,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8269289
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ikki_oboeteru/pseuds/Ikki_oboeteru
Summary: “I may be lucky with wealth… but all my life, I have only witness betrayal by everyone around me. Disappointment will get me no where..,"





	1. Combust.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't find any ZEN / JUMIN or V/ Jumin  
> Therefore, I am providing this to the fandom.  
> I cooked this up when I was at Jumin's 6th day and his past showed up.  
> I'll try to make this story as short as possible. I can't with long chapters.  
> BTW, he is my true route bae because he has the most solid angst bg to write up a lot of fanfics.

Kill the emotions.

Pick up something and make yourself busy. 

A mantra he had repeated to himself over and over whenever he has to deal with unnecessary emotions. He will only allow himself to feel challenged if the prospect could provide good revenue and satisfied to have a good meal with his father minus the interchanging women that will sometimes tag along with his old man. 

Yet, he couldn’t when his father came up to that meeting room and giving the impression to the others that he was sold off, traded in a heat of the moment with this new women that had caught his father’s eyes. 

He felt betrayed. 

He felt like crap. 

He just want to believe it is just a dream, hallucination… 

“Mr. Han,” Jaehee’s voice caught his attention, his dark eyes snapped up to meet her brown ones, conveying concern and worry - and dark circles are evidently showing. “These are the reports that you had requested earlier. Are you alright, Mr. Han?” She asked, her voice, although monotone, hinted warmth and care. After all these years, she really is the best assistant he had on his side.

“I am alright. Thank you for asking, Assistant Kang…..” Jumin halt with his words, from Jaehee’s perspective, he seemed to be deep in thoughts from the way his neat brows knitted into a frown -a signature look from this young Director. “ You should take a few days of leave. I will allow it. You need your rest., “ He finally spoke as he flipped through the reports, reading line after line to ensure there is no errors or typos. He has to make sure they’re written correctly and perfectly. It is in his nature to make sure everything is aligned with the company’s vision and mission - and perfection is part of it. 

“Thank you Mr. Han. I will make sure to finalize the important documents needed during my leave on my table before I clock out.” Jaehee informed her superior, taking her leave. In an instant, her fingers tapped hurriedly on her phone’s screen, sending multiple messages to several individuals in the secret messenger app to inform of Jumin’s condition. She may be an assistant in his company’s building but she will still worry of Jumin’s condition as a friend. The only way she could help is reach out to those whom she knows will manage to ease Jumin with this stressful situation.

-Chatroom-

 

Jaehee Kang  
-Mr. Han announced that we will not be doing any cat related projects.

 

Yoosung  
-That is great news!!!

 

Zen  
-Now you will have more rest time and better focus on important things, Jaehee! That’s wonderful~! 

 

MC  
-..I think Jumin is upset.

 

Jaehee Kang  
\- I believe so too… He is more serious today and he has not stopped working ever since we dismissed our meeting this morning. He even gave me a two days leave.

 

707  
-UNBELIEVABLE! IS THIS JUMIN HAN?  
THE.  
JUMIN.  
HAN?

 

MC  
-Did you managed to reach out to V?.. I feel very sorry for Jumin to go through this. 

 

Jaehee Kang  
-I have tried contacted V… I am really worried about Mr. Han. Seven, please type in one paragraph and stop spamming the chat room. 

 

Zen  
\- I feel bad for teasing him earlier when he used this chatroom as his diary…  
\- I hope he cheers up. I had problems with my family too…  
-I didn’t think I would say this, but I think I could understand his turmoil with his father.  
-I did after all ran away from home and is still in not good terms with my family. 

 

MC  
-It would really help Jumin if you could be more honest with him

 

Zen  
-lololol  
-If I am more honest with him more than I am now, Jumin and I might end up fighting all night.  
-It’s not that I understand him completely, I just hope things go well this time!

 

Jaehee Kang  
-It is difficult to understand Mr. Han right now. I do wish V will reply to me soon…

 

Zen stared at his phone as the room continued to discuss about Jumin’s current scandal with Glam Choi’s student. He couldn’t believe the moment that he admitted openly to take pity on this jerk who had been on his nerves ever since they set eyes on each other. As much as he would like to laugh at Jumin’s blunder, he couldn’t find himself to do so. After all, an arranged marriage is a touchy issue, especially when it crossed over family and wealth..

Ah.  
Wasn’t he in the same position back then - only with a different matter with his family…? His parents rather ridicule his physical looks in order to ensure that he would pursue a career in medicine than being a theater artist. The actor was about to go over his lines for his upcoming role when his phone vibrated with a green light blinking. 

A message? Is it from MC? Or Jaehee?

He immediately grabbed his phone but only to find Jumin’s name glaring into his eyes. Such an eye sore… and Elizabeth 3rd’s picture as his profile picture? He is internally swearing to this Cat-Freak. 

What does Mr. Trust Fund Kid wants from him at this hour? Didn’t Jaehee said that he wanted to stop cat related business at the moment? He had declined this man’s offer to be the face of his cat food product the last time Jumin invited him out. What is it this time?

 

From: Jumin Han  
Title : Meet  
Message: Could you spare sometime to meet at your secret place? I will be sending my driver to pick you up. 

 

 

The white silver haired man is pretty sure he couldn’t say no. Not when Driver Kim is on his way over as he reads this message. With a deep, troubled sigh, he pulled on his black shirt and a long cardigan, tying up his hair and waited until Mr. Kim ring his front door. 

 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jumin had his arms crossed as he gazed over the city from the hill side. It’s no wonder Zen love this place as his hiding spot. No one could find him here and he could have his peace of mind. He lowered his gaze as he sighed heavily - he had no idea why he had sent out such invitation to someone that is a total opposite of him… Perhaps he is judging his initial judgment.. Is this regret? But surely the silver-haired man might give him an answer.. how? He isn’t sure…

“Jumin, what’s up?” Zen’s voice reached to his ears, hearing the greeting from the younger man’s lips. The younger male stood next to Jumin, having his back facing to the beautiful sight of the city lights as he sat on the metal divider. Zen tilted his head, eye brows corked up, looking at the other who was deep in thought, waiting for an answer. 

“...I was hoping to find an answer to my current dilemma,” Jumin raised his piercing gaze to met those red eyes. “…and I do not know anyone else who could help me with these… things I am feeling,” The older man admitted.

“Am I hearing this right?~~~ Jumin Han. The Jumin Han…. ~~ Mr. Director is asking me?… The beautiful, talented Zen for help?,” Zen couldn’t help but to tug a wide smug on his lips when Jumin seemed to give a reaction, albeit it is small. “I am probably dreaming right now but I rather believe that I am!,” He laughed an obnoxious laugher. What kind of heaven is he in right now to find Jumin asking for his help? He didn’t die, right?

The young male seemed to have rambled with his continuous teasing and laughter. Jumin is pretty sure he is slowly regretting the moment right now for trying to open up and ask for help from someone. He felt his walls are thinning and seemed dejected if anyone could read his eyes. The young corporate coughed to shake away those feelings that’s creeping up too fast on him, taking a deep breathe as he tried to regain his composure before the upcoming rising talent. “I may have miscalculated and decided wrongly. Perhaps this meet up is not suppose to take place..,” He sighed, a disinterest look on his face. Back to square one. 

“What the fuck, Jumin. Calm your pretentious righteous ass down, you Cat-Freak! You’re so uptight, yet I’m wondering why is Glam Choi’s student is going to be your soon to be wife!” Zen retorted without a basis as usual, drived by his fiery emotions- feeling pissed how this jerk infront of him. Yes, Zen admitted he was being a prick but he did willingly come all the way here to see this son-of-a-....

“I do not agree to such terms with that woman. It is all my father’s actions… I have seen enough to know that women are a waste of time and energy to invest in.. All I need is Elizabeth 3rd.. ,” Zen is pretty sure he felt an itch coming up on his nose by the sound of that name.

“You and your obsession with your cat is way more of a problem!!! It is unhealthy and weird!! And MOTHER OF ALL JESUS!! STOP TALKING ABOUT CATS. I AM ALLERGIC!,” Zen couldn’t help but to shout. He wouldn’t do so if Jumin had not torture him enough for the past 5 years with his talks about cats. He was ready to throw another fit if Jumin starts to ramble about Elizabeth 3rd. He did not come here just to bicker with this old man. 

Surprisingly, Jumin didn’t. He had his brows knotted again, looking confused and in deep thoughts. Zen wished this man wouldn’t do such things and just let out his initial thoughts than having to think too deep into things. This man analyze things too far, he is quite sure one day this young corporate will look older than his age by the time he hits 32. 

“Could you stop doing that?,”

“Doing what?”

“Stop over analyzing your emotions and talk what you’re feeling right now. You’re scaring every one.. Even Jaehee is worried. Just fucking let go and speak up your heart and mind without thinking about it!,”

…There was a momentary silence. The type of silence that had Zen on his toes as his crimson irises are fixed to the man before him. It is probably the only moment he could witness a certain expression that is not the typical deadpan face or a deep in thought kind of expression written on Jumin’s handsome face. Jumin’s deep dark eyes which tends to be cold and dead had Zen swimming with an array of emotions that had been running deep underneath that thick mask. 

The young talent was taken aback how quick the aura around them changed as Jumin slowly let himself loose. His face contorted into a pained and confused expression. He was uncomfortable how fragile he looked before someone else other than V and Elizabeth 3rd. He hated how he would let his guard down… but he trusted his judgment.. he wants to trust his judgment… Perhaps someone like Zen whom could understand his own emotions to assist him with such delicate matters that’s close to his heart. 

“I do not know… how you could handle all of these emotions which consume you easily… but I couldn’t kill these feelings… heavy feelings.. *Jumin clutched his chest, bunching up his shirt and tie into his fist as he tried to breathe. How does Zen act these emotions easily on stage…? Jumin isn’t sure how to identify them one by one like how he’d catalog his files but he knew they had drove him up to the wall and had him hit rock bottom. 

Betrayal.

Betrayed by the ones he loved the most. 

“I may be lucky with wealth… but all my life, I have only witness betrayal by everyone around me. Disappointment will get me no where.. but.. ,” Jumin swallowed his words, still unable to speak out so easily the things that he feels without thinking of the future prospects. 

He wanted to believe that his father did not sell him off to win the heart of this new woman… 

He wanted to believe that he could fit in a group without them expecting him to give off his wealth. 

He wanted to believe that Jihyun did not abandon him… or betray him…

As much as he wished that everything doesn’t really matter, a small voice in him had been screaming over an over for the past ten years (?) that he does care and he will do whatever it takes to protect his beloved ones. That voice which he kept burying over with work after work, new projects, and company expansions… It doesn’t matter though… He is merely an asset or possession. Easily put aside when they’re tired of him. 

“I must go,” Jumin muttered under his heavy breathe. He is having a difficult time to breathe with this whirlpool of emotions rushed through him, making his head dizzy. His stomach hurt as well, searing pain shooting up his body. Where is Tiaranol when you need it? He felt stupid for allowing himself to be consumed with these unnecessary emotions. Had he not learned enough after all those months when his father was away outside the country? He could deter all those filthy people if he turns cold and unresponsive.. It worked with his stepmother after months being used by her behind his father’s back. He felt sick to his stomach to be reminded of that nightmare. 

“Oi, Jumin!,” Zen was fast enough to catch the man in his arm when he saw him stumbled. “Dude, what the fuck?!” He cussed out loud when he finds the man weak in his arm. Zen immediately hoisted him up, carrying the young director on his back - all thanks to his religious work out routine for the marvelous strength.. god is truly unfair to this world!!- heading down the hill, knowing exactly where Driver Kim will be waiting at. As expected, the driver panicked to find Jumin in such a state. 

“Driver Kim, drop us off at my place. I will take care of him,”


	2. Benefits.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Jumin, you are impossible,"
> 
> (Cuddling in the morning is healthy!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I made a lot of spelling errors.. and grammatical errors...  
> I can't help it...? I'm writing these before bed time.  
> I hope you don't mind!
> 
> This story is written in a whim. No plots, not drafts. Forgive me if it feels like there are plot holes.  
> But I swear it is linked. My muse that fuels me up to push this out is my work place. I get stressed out and my brain shuts down, simulating a story in my head which i will carry back home to pen it down.

The raven-haired man woke up with a start to the sound of his phone vibrating constantly on a Sunday morning. Not that he mind it - He barely get any decent amount of sleep and today is the contrary. On a norm, Jumin will be out of the bed by now to exercise or play with his dearly beloved cat. He instead tugged on the thick blanket, burrowing himself into the foreign bed that he had learned to get used to; the smell of cheap cigarette no longer bothers him - The familiar scent comforted him instead these days. 

“Stop moving.. I’m trying to sleep,” Zen’s low grumbling had him halt in his movement but he shifted just a little more, getting into a better position, hiding his face in between the crook of Zen’s shoulder. The younger male didn’t mind honestly as he too shifted along, arms finding their way around Jumin’s waist. “Go back to sleep,” he muttered and Jumin didn’t protested even though he rather get up and do something productive. Perhaps.. just today.. it is okay to break his routine. 

It had been several months since his initial visit to Zen’s place…. Hmm.. He wouldn’t call it a visit. On that fated evening, Jumin recalled waking up in the very same bed that he is in. He couldn't remember why and what had happened but he was glad Zen was there. Jumin was sure if he is going to write a book, he would label it… the beginning of a beautiful friendship between him and Zen (?). Ever since that, the director felt that their friendship are growing closer. They had more secret meet ups after; mainly to avoid the paparazis that had been chasing after the two of them (no thanks to Glam Choi and Echo Girl) where Zen coached him with his troubling emotions. 

Though.. now.. Now at this moment is perhaps a different story… Jumin pressed his palm on Zen’s back, his fingers making gentle strokes - a habit he is used to when he regard Elizabeth as his only companion. Was it during one of those drunken nights? Jumin couldn’t recall how and why… but he accepts the type of relationship he has with Zen. It feels comfortable… and perhaps stable enough for him, emotionally. 

“Jumin. I am trying to sleep… ,” the sleepy man grumbled, grabbing a hold on Jumin’s wrist, removing that pesky, troubling hand away from his back and drops it on Jumin’s side. A little flustered to be caught on the act, Jumin whispered a soft apology to the other man, pressing a soft kiss on the other’s shoulder. 

“Stop thinking too much..,” 

“Trying..,” Jumin assured. “Go back to sleep, Hyun,” He hoped by using the other’s real name will assure the other that he is alright. It seemed to work when his silver white haired companion -… he just realized that he might have a certain interest when it comes to white things.. be it things, pets, or maybe perhaps his current human companion. Today marked their six month; two months building a solid companionship foundation… and four months when they had begun to sleep with each other.

No one in the RFA know anything about this - unless Seven is kind enough to keep his mouth shut if he is spying on Jumin. Not that Jumin would mind - He wouldn’t care if the old rumor comes back but he wish it won’t when it involves with an actual person that is important to him - and this person is Zen; who is still struggling to kick start his career in the entertainment industry. 

Speaking of that… Jumin has a great concern... Puzzled to why this man insist to decline whatever offers he has. Ever single time Jumin managed to find an amazing opportunity that will help Zen to jump to stardom, he will receive an aggressive N to the big Oh towards his face instead. Jumin had initiated the interest multiple times and it never comes into fruition. He was offended with Zen's rejection but never furious. Instead, he tried his best to confront the actor... but Zen always avoid the question…Why? He couldn’t understand either… but on the surface level, he could see that Zen is not like those beings who’ll stay next to him because of money. 

Maybe that is why he trust this man enough to bed him, allowing the actor to listen to his worries on certain days when he finds it difficult to handle. 

Perhaps what they are sharing right now is the product of mutual respect?  
It is not the typical love story that he reads from the books he has at home.  
Jumin really couldn’t put a finger onto it. 

Despite the ambiguity, he is comfortable and content with this. That is all that matters.

 

Zen woke up close to noon - why not? It is probably the only weekend he could rest and spend some time with Jumin. Half a year ago, he will regard it as a nightmare to stay in one room with Mr. Square.. Surprisingly, he find the older man to be more than just a perfectionist Cat-Freak. Jumin is still a jerk in his eyes though - Mr. Trust Fund kid will still be his usual self around the RFA members, sometimes taunting him with the ideas to have Zen to model for his feline products (AGH, IS THAT AN ITCH??!?!?!?!), or driving him up the wall when Jumin gave an offhand remarks on any basic knowledge about the middle class’s culture. 

That is also one of his endearing factors that had Zen made up his mind to care more about this guy; at least by allowing Jumin to explain his thought process before they start bickering (which they end up doing so anyway because both of them finds it fun to see everyone laughing and enjoying their little show). Maybe what took place on that evening had opened Zen’s eyes how wrong he was about Jumin. 

On the surface, Jumin's persona always gave off the impression like he didn’t care what is going on or what the press or people are talking about him ( gossips and scandals) - Truthfully, this son of a gun took it close to heart, absorbed those responses (like a thirsty sponge, mind you), and allowing his mind to drown in heavy thought processes with several solutions to the matter (which Zen wished he could stop because he is sure those worry lines will grow deeper. Mr. DIRECTOR, YOU NEED TO TAKE A CHILL PILL) 

“How long are we planning to stay in bed?” Zen fluttered his tired eyes open, greeted by a pair of dark orbs that most probably had been staring at his face far longer than the time he had actually wake up. The older man had a mini pout on his face as his head rested upon Zen’s muscular arms.

“Five more minutes, unless you have a reason to make me wake up now,” Zen yawned, stretching his free arm, then recoiled to snuggled up to the other man.

“.…I could ride you to wake you up,’ came a blunt response. Zen narrowed his eyes and wished that this man could at least be more tactful with his approach when it comes to this. 

“Can’t you at least be more romantic when you ask that?,”

“You said that what we are having is just benefits? And it is fine as long as it’s your penis getting inside me?,”

Zen cringed again. This man can really be too black and white…

He can’t deny that he did set those rules. He couldn’t think what it would be like if he was the receiving end. He was so scared with the idea of needing to skip rehearsals or shows if his back or hips hurt too much! He can’t compromise if that is bound to happen! And he rather not... although sex with Jumin is fucking (mind blowing) amazing. He didn’t know the man has an arsenal of knowledge with sex - how he acquires it, Zen doesn’t wish to find out. A big director from a big corporate company… you rather not mess around with the things they hide up under their fancy sleeves. 

….Except the time when Jumin had cried out for V’s name on several occasions… It doesn’t really bother him that m- okay, so it does bother him and he is deeply curious to know if Jumin and V had something like what he is sharing with Jumin too? Or is it like one of those unrequited love formula that fuels up the K-Drama today?…ahh.. Zen is curious but he rather not put his nose into someone else’s business. That is just pushing the envelope. 

“Well…?,” Jumin’s voice brought Zen back to the present time, the older male somehow had manged to roll himself on top of Zen, legs straddled on each side as Jumin settled to sit on Zen’s crotch, the blanket still clung to the older man’s back. His hair is in a messy mop from last night’s rough romp (He insisted that he is not a porcelain doll and Zen complied easily.). There were obvious red scratch marks and patches of slightly greenish or bluish marks on his body. Zen could feel blood rushing up to his cheeks to be presented of his work from last night.

“You are either a sadist.. or a masochist. Or both… ,” Zen muttered, trying to hide his blush that has long painted on his cheeks.

“You like it anyway… although, I couldn’t compensate enough to be a woman to replace MC,”

“JUMIN HAN!” Zen’s immediate reaction was to smack on where ever he could reach to, landed a hard slap on Jumin’s naked thigh, earning himself a sharp hiss from the raven-haired man. “Do. Not. Bring. That. Up.,” Zen glared up at the man above him, challenging him to utter another word about the issue. “Fucking Jerk,”

“Yes, Hyun. You are about to do one,” he feigned innocence, a mocking smirk painted on his lips as he reached down to link and intertwine their fingers together. “Now, will you let me ride your dick? Or do you need me to work you up?,” he said in a matter fact kind of manner. Business as usual. 

“Jumin, you are impossible…,” Zen rolled his eyes but kept his arms around Jumin’s waist, leaning his head back into the pillow.


	3. Spent.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is raw.
> 
> It is rough…  
> Never to Zen’s liking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm on a roll.  
> Trying to explain Jumin's dynamics with V.  
> Heart pain.  
> Please brace yourself.

”Mr. Han,” Jumin’s most trusted man, the Head Security entered his office with a familiar face. “I have brought V as requested,” he bowed his head as Jihyun entered, a smile is always painted on his lips. Jumin dismissed the man, making a note to give this man a fat bonus for his efficiency.

“Jihyun,” the reports that he had in his hand were left forgotten on his desk - neatly stacked, mind you. He isn’t a slob even if he has to put the reading task off to greet his friend.

V chuckled as he is welcomed with an embrace, returning the gesture with an arm wrapped around Jumin’s shoulder. No matter how long; days, months, years, he knew Jumin will welcome him with his arms wide open and with the same kind of warmth that they shared during their childhood years. Growing up in the same neighbourhood with different family backgrounds never deter their strong bond.

“I am happy to see you. How is your progress with your photo collections? Tell me about your travels,” Jumin lead his old friend towards the cosy sofa at the small corner in his vast office, grabbing a bottle of wine along the way to celebrate their rare reunion.

“The usual, Jumin. Nothing much…. ,” the bright green hair man smiled at the other. He raised his glass to their reunion, which Jumin gladly complied. “The places I went are amazing.. They have lovely cultures…,” Jumin caught himself being pulled by the sound of V’s voice. Soft and smooth like a cup of good latte… or probably comparable to Elizabeth’s fur. It mesmerized him, keeping him at ease and content.

V’s perspective and mindset towards the world, plus the new things he discovers in his travels added more value to Jumin’s adoration towards this man. There will always be new discovery with V. Despite being a total opposite persona when placed side by side with his old friend, the two of them are curious beings. They share a mutual interest to discover new things and at least on Jumin’s part, to master a great part of that knowledge. That is where V comes in to set an equilibrium in their world. He will be the one to point out the small little things which Jumin tends to overlook in his own poetic way; through pictures or through words - giving a bigger picture to Jumin’s world.

They are each other’s Yin and Yang.

With V, the small section in his life felt fulfilled even if just by a small percentage. And that is enough for Jumin to lead his daily routine.

“Jumin…I think I may have lost my muse.. ever since that day,”

“Hmm..? What do you mean, Jihyun?,” Jumin straightened up on his seat, concern is eminent through his actions. “Is it because of your eyes? You can still set up an appointment with the Ophthalmologist I had recommended to you months ago. I’ll inform Assistant Kang to call him,”

“Jumin, it is fine. I don’t want to,” V shook his head, his tone polite and prim as he took another sip from his glass. “I think I still need to travel more… to erase the memory and find myself a new muse. Please do not worry about me, Jumin. I understand that you wish to help, but I will have to refuse,” V placed his hand on top of Jumin’s. “Let’s talk about something else. I apologize for bringing bad vibes when we can finally meet and spare time to sit and talk like this,”

“..Of course… Have you tried Chef Ramgey’s new dish..?,”

* * *

 

“If you’re going to keep quiet after going through all the way to get your maids to clean up this guest room and makes Jaehee work extra hours looking after your princess… I will have you personally apologize to them for wasting their time and energy..,” Zen combed his long perfect fingers through his front bangs, pushing them away from his face, only to had them fall back to their natural state when he lets go of them. To be ignored is one thing. To have his time wasted doing nothing.. that is not what he had signed up to for the evening. He rather rehearse his lines than to accompany Jumin who is (as usual) deep in his thoughts.

  
The young director is sitting at the edge of his round? Oval? Semi-round? (Why the fuck do rich people have weird looking beds? I hope the maid cleans the room thoroughly.) bed. The man had his tie undone and his formal jacket laid next to him - such an unlikely behaviour from Jumin.. unless something might had occurred at work. Another sigh (probably the eight in the span of ten minutes) came through those lips of his and this is not making it easier for Zen to stay calm and understanding towards this man.

“Jumin, whatever it is you have in your mind - let it out… If you’re not going to say or do anything in the next five minutes, I am going home,” Zen rolled off from the vast bed, collecting his leather jacket on the reclining chair that is close by.

..Nothing but another sigh..

Zen wonders how Jaehee is able to tolerate with this man. His vein might pop if he stays another minute longer.

“Jihyun came to visit me today,”

“V? He was here? Why didn’t he say hello in the chatroom? MC is waiting patiently for the party’s date!,” Zen sets his leather jacket down, standing closer to where Jumin is sitting. It’s difficult to talk to him in this room. The man needs to speak louder!

“...It’s only a short visit. He is busy preparing for another business trip to the dessert. He told me that he wants to contribute more pictures for the donation drive,”

“Oh, that explains it. I hope he is doing alright,”

“...He told me that he lost his muse,” Jumin had contemplated before breaking his silence. 

“..What?,” Zen gasped in a shock. Being an artist himself, he understood pretty well how devastating to reach to that realization. To lose a muse or inspiration in an art field is similar to closing a branch due to their inability to generate profit. It could kill an artist from the inside out if they rely on art as their main income. Even if V might have another company or job that can sustain him, Zen understood how much it hurts to lost the flame in something you have great love and passion towards it. “Will he be alright?,”

“...I do not know how to respond.. but he did said this expedition is his means to find a new muse.. I am hopeful that he will,”

_…Like the time when he introduced Rika…_

Jumin reached for Zen’s hand, placing a light kiss on Zen’s palm. He rested his cheek, letting the warmth emitting from Zen’s skin to calm his nerves. A behaviour Zen had taken note how similar he is to Elizabeth. A cat begging to be taken notice and asking for a little more affection. This picture is probably comical to Seven and MC. With a history of constant bickering in the chatroom and possibly never on the same page, no one in RFA will believe that the two of them could empathize with each other at this level.

Zen took a long deep breath, breathing out of his mouth quietly while running his hand through Jumin’s jet-black hair. Reaching down towards the back of Jumin’s head, Zen curled his fingers inwards to grab a fistful and yanked the other’s head back painfully to crush their lips together in a feral kiss. Being a man whom take an oath that intimacy should be approached in a loving and nurturing manner (Zen loves making love with cute kisses and warm cuddles!! Intimacy is all about holding each other lovingly!), with Jumin… this man would rush and taunt Zen to get it on with business.

“We are not lovers. It’s just sex. I am not a porcelain doll or a woman ,”

  
_Please, never be gentle with me._

Jumin pleaded in his inner mind as he fought back those dominant kisses. He knew that Zen isn’t the type to exert his strength unless needed. The man’s body is built to take out a man (If Zen wants to) after going through all those meticulous training as a musical actor. The firm grip and the rough handling erased Jumin’s old memory even if it’s a temporary fix. Those memory that haunts him every night when he came into contact with V - either physically or through the messenger and calls.

_Such a complicated man, I am._

He drowned his monologs away when Zen demands more attention from him - his shirt is undone as he felt Zen’s lips burning every patch of his skin from his neck to his chest. Jumin shimmy his shoulder to allow his vest to slide off, throwing the offensive article aside while trying to refocus his thoughts to the man that is holding him.

But they are different no matter what... Still, it is better have Zen be rough..

Jihyun’s hands are a little colder but his touch always burns Jumin’s skin. It may be because Jumin might have a thing for V as their relationship grew closer - a little too intimate for an average male. Jumin never had thought that his dreams would materialized one day. That fateful day when V celebrated Jumin’s birthday - only the two of them because Jumin dislike being around a crowd that never really cares about his well being.

V had brought him to a small cottage in a wine vineyard - his childhood friend knew him too well about his interest towards wine. They had been up all night drinking, sharing stories from what Jumin had read or pick up from the TV and V as usual, showing his picture collections. Then, out of the blue - while V was explaining about one of his pictures, Jumin had leaned to kiss his friend.

V did not rejected him.

One thing led to another.. they were sprawled across the room, semi-naked, the wine might had something to do with their young adult hormones. Jumin had never done such a thing with another man… or if being awkwardly touched by his stepmother is considered as part of this.. No… he had never felt willing to partake with something so dangerous and sinful.

But with V… with V it felt _good_ … it felt _alright_.  
It felt like one of those growing strands (that had been building in his subconscious mind) grew a little smaller and a little less tangled….

He had never done this… and he felt unprepared.. Raising his gaze up to V’s emerald eyes, he plead through his own in hopes the other man would know what to do.. That gentle smile.. it haunts Jumin’s mind to see it so beautiful, so pure.. but behind that smile lies a million of questions.. which too managed to silence Jumin’s own voice when their lips met. It felt like a butterfly had landed on his lips, so soft, gentle and innocent which grows immensely sensual but still retain the innocence in it.

“Relax, Jumin,” a voice cuts through Jumin’s subconscious. It didn’t matched with V’s.

“Jumin, fuck.. you need to relax,” Zen’s voice brought Jumin back up to present time.

Jumin gulped difficultly, fingers curling into the silky fabric of his sheet. He felt his whole body is shaking out of pain and fatigued. His breathing heavily laboured with half of his flustered face hidden into the soft pillow. “Fuck you,” He spat, angered to be brought back to reality. His eyes are prickling with tears threatened to fall.

_This is reality that he has to live with._

Jihyun never meant for that night to happen. The morning after that rendezvous, Jihyun acted like nothing had happened the night before. They had never brought up about it ever. Of course Jumin is upset.. but he is comforted with the idea that V still regarded him as his best friend and promised to never leave each other’s side no matter what.  
“Fucking Jerk,” Zen cursed out loud, exerting his revenge seeing he has the upper hand right now. He snapped his hip, penetrating deep up to his hilt in one hard thrust. The sound of a strangled cry from the Trust Fund Kid was excessively satisfying to his ears. Serves him right for talking back when he is not the one being in charge right now.

_It is raw._

_It is rough…_  
Never to Zen’s liking.

“Ji.. hyun..” those muffled sobs came from Jumin’s lips. It would came off as pathetic if anyone is bedding this man right now, Zen thinks.

He wonders what it will be like if the girls who had been pinning over after Jumin could see what kind of man he is right now? Will they still be coming after for him? Zen gritted his teeth. He is secretly enjoying his position to have the upper hand, being able to reduced the man beneath him to tears. Although Zen is sure he is purely straight as a ruler, Jumin’s face and body isn’t that bad either - all thanks to the money that could make this man good looking for the next ten years -(but it won’t be able to rival his beauty!).

Shit, this is not becoming of him. He won’t let himself doubt what he was!  
Driven and annoyed for his self-doubt, he hooked one of the older man’s leg behind his waist - enough of playing games - He is determined to give what Jumin needed for now. ...And he is going to deliver.

* * *

Zen woke up with a start to find Jumin isn’t in his spot next to him. He was sitting on the long sofa, in his pajamas (did he took a shower when Zen had passed out?), a book in his hand. Zen could imagine Elizabeth sitting in the man’s lap as he pet that (foul) creature.

“Don’t mind me. I will join you in a while…,” Jumin spoke without tearing his gaze away from the book. Zen huffed and falls back into bed, feeling the ache that’s about to bite him when he truly wakes up later at noon. The actor shuts his eyes once again, letting his mind drifts off to dreamland.


	4. Sincere.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All good things will come to an end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Harro :3  
> Thank you for reading!  
> I'll prolly be generous and post another chapter in another hour or two.

707

- Am I dreaming or Jumin is actually laughing?

 

Rika

- Isn’t that suppose to be a good thing? He is opening up to us.

 

Zen

- It just doesn’t feel right. I’m feeling goosebumps on my arms. 

- I wanted to throw my phone right when I saw that. 

 

V

- It can’t be helped when he was so serious around others.

- And to be fair to these guys, they’ve never really come in direct contact with Jumin..

 

Rika

- True~ I suppose until Seven and Zen meets Jumin, maybe they’ll know him better. 

 

Jumin

- ….I don’t really care what they’re going to talk behind my back. 

- It is a waste of energy and resources to care.

- I can be a really funny person. You just don’t get my jokes.

 

Zen

- Your jokes are dry.

- It is probably drier than the desert. 

- This guy.. really… 

 

Jumin

- Hmm, at least not as dry as your damaged hair. 

- You need better treatment for them. 

 

Zen

-.….

- please, Jumin. Your sense of style is dry too. Who wears pinstripes these days? You’re not even 40 years old.

 

Jumin

-I rather be an old soul than looking tacky and cheap.  

 

707

-OH

-OHHHHH

-BURRRRRNNNNNNNN

 

Yoosung

-L.O.L. 

 

Rika

-boys, boys~! Now now… be kind and play nice~

 

* * *

 

 

_Rika._

 

Where do Jumin begin when this woman entered his life? They were acquainted through V. The company heir first impression towards her is that she spreads air of naivety and innocence. He easily accepts her as a friend with his trust on V’s judgment and decision. V is a grown man and he isn’t Jumin’s to begin with. V… Jumin finds that he  always prefers to keep himself around good people that has not evil intentions. His aura gravitates to those people and those people gravitate to him too.  Their friendship bloomed rapidly, their bond as the three friends grew stronger. 

 

He never had any bitter feelings towards Rika to be able to win V’s heart and attention. She is a beautiful woman, elegant and intelligent to be able to draw people towards her. Her beliefs in helping others, advocating on Human Rights and contributing her energy to give back to the society. Jumin believed that she is created, intended to be V’s soulmate. Both of them are their own sun. They shone brightly to the people around them, motivating positive activist and movement to make the world a better place. Their mindset and perspective to others are different from Jumin’s. He judged everyone of them based on their true intentions and motivators that he has in his power. 

 

He is too different from them but he cherished them for taking him under their wings, guiding him to see the good and better things in life. Their knowledge fascinates him and their feelings towards each other - in Jumin’s perspective, they will shine brighter when the two finally found themselves.

 

And Jumin is happy for them. 

 

But like the sayings goes..  _All good things will have to come to an end._

 

He couldn’t believed how time had fly since that day. 

 

Rika…

What had went through her mind when she took her own life…? Did something triggered her to push her off the edge? Was it too difficult until V couldn’t save her? 

 

Jumin tilt his head, arms crossed, his back slouched slightly against the sofa’s armrest. His book left forgotten on the glass coffee table. Is Itmelancholy? Is it sentiments? Or is this regret? He sighed. This is why he dislikes investing too much into figuring out what he is feeling. It took too much time and by the time he could figure them out, he will find himself demotivated to continue with his work or whatever plans he had set for the day. He rather be productive and put it all into work. 

 

Hmm..? What is this..?

Jumin finds his phone vibrating on his book. An ID blinked on his screen.

 

MC? At this hour? Is there something..? 

 

He picked up the call and to be greeted with a cheerful voice. “What are you doing? Have you eaten?,” Jumin turned puzzled to be greeted with such question. “Of course… Is there something the matter? Do you need any assistance?.. No..? Hmm.. you’re a peculiar woman.. and brave too.. Most people will have to go through Assistant Kang before calling me.. I am fine. Thank you for calling…. I will have to get back to work.,”

 

MC.

She is not like every other person… or Jumin is just biased towards the new RFA member. His judgment might have been clouded over V’s decision to allow her to join in the association. He trusted V’s decision. 

He always have and always will. 

 As long as V continues to provide his light in Jumin’s life, even if his rays rarely peeks out from behind those dark clouds, Jumin will always feel safe knowing that V will always return to him. 

 

After all, V is  _ _his__ sun. 

 

* * *

 

 

“That’s not fair,” Zen whines out loud, rubbing his watery eyes and wiping his runny nose. His angry eyes glaring at the corporate heir who was holding Elizabeth as his private shield against Zen. “You’re using the furball against me!,”

 

“How many times do I have to tell you, her name is Elizabeth 3rd. Call her by her given name,” Jumin instigate, petting his precious feline companion. A white persion cat given to him by Rika, named by V. He loves her dearly… or a little too much. An obsession, the rest of the world would accused him. Who cares? They won’t understand why she is precious to him.

 

“Come on, you bastard,” Zen gritted his teeth, extremely pissed with Jumin’s childish behaviour. “This is childish and unfair!!!!,” 

 

“You’re childish too for wanting to exert revenge,” Jumin turned to face away from Zen, scoffing away but couldn’t stop himself curving the corner of his lips upwards. Zen noticed he looked a little more relaxed, shoulders slouched and his whole body language is more approachable than emitting those dark, cold aura.

 

A smile? Is that a real smile?

 

“Jumin… Are you smiling?,”

 

The corporate heir snapped his head up, a blank stare met Zen’s red irises. Was he smiling? Is it bad…? To let his guard down too easily?

 

“Ah.. nevermind,” Zen panicked when Jumin’s whole demeanor and aura changed back to it was. “You don’t have to seclude yourself away if you feel genuinely happy… It’s a good feeling to share with people,” Zen muttered, a pout.

 

He didn’t mind if the older man feels happy from their constant bickering (like an old couple Seven would point out each time. Jumin and him are really different individuals after all - and Zen makes it a point to correct Jumin if he feels that Jumin is wrong.). Jumin DID look cute when his smile is genuine and coming from his heart. 

 

“So, this warm feeling with no bad intentions… is Happiness?” Jumin puts Elizabeth in her cage, petting behind her ears before turning around to face the actor, -ah.. his face is swelling. “You should head to the guest room. Your face is swelling.. All of the medicine is on the night table,” Jumin curved his lips up, smiling wide as he said those words.

 

“Jumin, you sound like a sadistic psycho…,” Zen narrowed his eyes, cringing at the heir. Wrong timings and wrong words. Well, at least Jumin is trying. That is good progress from all the coaching to encourage him to express himself better.“God damn it.. Make sure you wear new  _ _clean__  clothes or I swear I’ll do something about it!!,” Zen groaned, his head felt like it is going to split into two.

 

Their meet ups are more frequent in this quarter of the year. Jaehee did said that the company is really busy, minus the cat business - they had managed to secure new prospects for future projects. Zen pitied Jaehee, but he is sure that Jaehee is happy seeing the future profits coming into C & R. He has to admit that Jumin is a talented businessman. His strategies and his approach are fresh but his strict discipline kept the employers aligned with the C & R’s mission and vision. 

 

Zen supposed that it’s not that bad to spend more time with the corporate heir. It is interesting to listen to him talk about the things he had done for the day. An exercise Zen assigned to Jumin to help him get familiar with his emotions. They don’t always have sex whenever they meet up, mind you. A misconception most people will think if they hear the words Friends with Benefits. You need to have a really strong bond with a huge amount of trust with each other to cross that intimate line. That kind of bond is when you befriended someone genuinely and truly care about each other’s well being. Although the way how Jumin expressed his care always ticked Zen to the point of madness… They trust each other to hold each other up when they can’t manage on their own.

Zen dropped himself onto the luxurious bed after popping some allergy pills, waiting for the drug to take effect. His face is too warm and it itches so badly!!!!! He swear that the trust fund kid will get his punishment when the right time comes! He reached to fish his hand into his pocket, seeing MC’s name on his screen. A text message?

 

MC

Hi, Zenny! How’s your day?

 

Zen

It was okay. Meeting the director is something alright. He really reminds me of Jumin.

 

MC

Oh, cheer up! I hope you’ll get the role!! Can’t wait to fangirl over you with Jaehee!

 

Zen

Thank you~! I appreciate your constant support~! And I felt utterly blessed to be loved by such a lovely lady!

 

Ah, MC. She’s still quite a fresh face in the association. She’s always there to lift his mood up whenever she encouraged him to be better. He isn’t sure how to approach this matter though. He thinks he might has a special feeling to this woman.. but time will only tell if she’ll return the feelings. She did flirt back and seemed to be interested. 

 

“Ice?,” Jumin placed a pack of ice; wrapped with a thick towel on Zen’s cheek. Ah.. god bless this cooling feeling. It rids away the itch of hell!!

 

“Thanks” Zen took the ice pack, sighing softly as he dabbed them to help swelling down his face.

 ….

 “..I apologize…for being childish,” Jumin spoke with a soft tone, those long slender fingers stroking Zen’s hair (is he treating Zen like Elizabeth?). “But you were rude to me in the messenger too.. so it’s an eye for an eye,”

 

“Shut up,” Zen snorted, closing his eyes to enjoy Jumin’s petting. It doesn’t feel that bad to be Jumin’s cat once In a while. 


	5. Distrust.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How could you.. lie to me.. Jihyun..,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised.  
> Please ready with tissues.  
> I am horrible but y'all are masochist too.  
> <3

Jaehee Kang

\- Mr. Han seems to be in a good mood these few months.

\- Surprisingly he apologized and praised me in one occasion.

\- I am extremely surprised

 

707

\- REALLY?

\- Jaehee, are you sure Jumin is not sick or something?

 

Yoosung

\- I feel happy for you Jaehee!

\- And glad that Jumin is being more nice!!!

\- I hope he does more of this to everyone too!

 

-Zen enters the room-

 

MC

-Zen, you’re here!! I miss you like loads~! How’s your rehearsals?

 

Zen

-Hiya~! It is all good! I think I managed to impress the directors when I improvised one of the lines! And the show’s date are coming closer.

 

Jaehee

\- I will make time to see your performance, Zen!

\- Please continue with your hardwork!

\- MC, we have to go together!!

 

“You really like MC, don’t you?,” Jumin nuzzled into Zen’s chest, his voice sounds a little raspy.

 “Holy fuck, Jumin. You scared me. Were you not asleep just now?”

 “I nap in between. I have to do some work in another ten minutes,” Zen watches those long lashes flutters close. Not many would notice the tired lines on Jumin’s features, dark circles are pretty eminent only if they’re up close and personal with the business man. Jumin is lucky that he has money to get a nutritionist to help him maintain his health.

It’s ironic when Zen thinks about it. Most people will put the blame on the big boss when they were too busy working. It never crossed his mind how busy and how big their responsibilities are as a director. Now that he is seeing Jumin’s life personal and up close, Zen felt a little guilty to pin the faults to Jumin when Jaehee were praised for her hardwork.

Jumin works hard too.. make that thrice as hard. His position requires him to manage 500 over plus employers and that is no easy feat. He has to stay professional and make the right call, the right decisions which are all important too all of his workers. And Zen admires that.If he is placed in that spotlight, he won’t be able to foot the bill like how Jumin does.

“MC is a nice person,”

“Why are you pinning me with MC?,”

“I.. don’t know? It feels like she likes you too from the way how she responds to you,” Jumin pressed his cheek to Zen’s shoulder, shifted to lay his head higher on Zen’s arm.

“But, what about you?,” Zen blurted out.

“What about me..?” Jumin had a confused look on his face.

“No, it’s okay. Forget I had asked the question!,” Zen felt his face burned up. He should learn to think before he speaks! (But it is his nature to speak honestly! He can’t help himself! He doesn’t like the idea of being secretive and elusive!)

Jumin huffed but he lets it slide. He isn’t the type to push people to speak if they do not wish to. He knows how uncomfortable it feels to be forced to do something (unless there is a monetary reason behind it)… But he hates it too…

The people who are close to him are always elusive.. secretive.. like a snake that will coil around his body, tightening their hold around his neck if he allowed them too close.. But they have their own justifications just as how much as how he justifies himself that personal connection is non-existence without an ulterior motive. Humans are manipulative beings. They strive the best when they have the advantage to use others for their personal gain. He has seen an experience it first hand ever since he was young.

His father's women who will come and go for money. The same goes for women that had expressed their interest to be his partner -all driven for money and looks. The people who had worked with him - all the niceties they had spoken of him to the others (probably hoping for recognition to be in his good side). He is not that different with these people that he had encountered... This.. relationship with Zen.. The things they're doing.. Jumin is using Zen as his emotional anchor. And he knows that Zen knows.. And He knows that Zen is using him too.. but for what purpose, Jumin doesn’t really care as long they do not break their private “contract” (or what Zen will call it.. Promises).

It's pathetic of him. Pot calling the kettle black. 

Ah.. It’s useless to think about it. It won’t bring him anywhere.. Maybe he should start with work sooner.

He leaned close to Zen’s face, stealing a quick kiss from those lips, then roused himself our and off the bed.

“You can call the operator if you’re bored. I’ll be at my work station,” Zen is pretty sure his voice is a little colder than before.

* * *

 

 

It took him off guard when the front desk informed him that V is waiting at his pent house. He thanked the lady and took a faster stride. His nails digging into his palm, nervous and excitement mixed in one go. He had never received a surprised visit from V. Jumin will always make sure he will have someone escort V from the airport if the man ever returns back to Korea from his expedition. V is unpredictable, but in amidst of that, V will always. **Always** inform Jumin of his return if he plans to pay the corporate heir a visit.

 

“Jihyun!,” He greeted his childhood friend as soon as he saw the man across his living room. “Why didn’t you call me beforehand? I could have send someone to fetch you from the airport,”

 

“Jumin,” his voice gentle. His smile is similar to the serene environment at the Vineyard farm Jumin had visited earlier this week. “I apologize for the short notice,”

 

Jumin took a seat on the sofa across V, flustered that he was not prepared to welcome his friend the proper way. “It is fine, Jumin. I am only here for a moment.. It won’t take long,” he assured the other and requested for privacy. “I have something important to inform you,”

 

“What is it, Jihyun?,” Jumin straightened himself up, giving his full focus to his friend. He hopes that it will be something good… but from the way how V’s voice dropped, he is expecting for the worse.

 

“Jumin… I am not going to make it for the party… I will be leaving the country for good,” V finally spoke, his silky voice wrapped around Jumin’s heart tightly with those words. “Please take over RFA for me…I.. Don’t think I can live for long,”

 

“What,”

 

“I am so sorry for saying this out of the blue, Jumin… I have terminal liver cancer,” Jumin felt his heart clenched a little too tight for his comfort… It is suffocating him..”I’m sorry for not being truthful to you… I just want to disappear quietly from all of you,” Jumin thinks that he might had forgotten how to breathe. Did he?…Or did the world around him had just pushed him off to the darkest corner?... “Please, help me… as a friend’s last favour… I have left all the needed materials,”

 

Snap.

 

Jumin felt his patience finally snapped with V.

 

He roused up to his feet, his teeth gritted angrily as he step over close to V’s seat. It is never in his character to use violence against others. He is raised to be a diplomatic leader. But this, right now.. Right here.. Did V think that he is stupid not to know what is going on? Did V think that he will be still and quiet, and do the things he asked for?He had aggressively grabbed Jihyun by his shirt, pulling that man that he called his best friend, his true friend… but how could he now.. when this man is blatantly lying to his face? He couldn’t… not this time.. not when Jihyun is going to leave him for good.

“How could you.. _lie_ to me.. Jihyun..,” Jumin raised his voice angrily - full of dejection and hurt. “Did you think I won’t be able to notice?,” His grip tightened around V’s jacket, his knuckles turning white, shaking in pure anger.

“Everything you’re hiding, your _secrets_ , they are all fine.. I will trust and follow whatever you do,”

His black stormy eyes searched in V’s icy emerald eyes - blind eyes. He knew they’ve turned blind but he couldn’t fathom that the owner has a blind heart as well.

“Jumin,”

“Please,…. don’t _lie_ to me. At least not you… at least not _you_! Do you not feel ashamed of yourself? When did you start living with so little dignity?!…Even my friendship… _our friendship_.. How dare you treat it like this!,” His felt his whole being shaken, his voice wavered.. He is so.. disappointed.. so.. lost… so used. Non other by someone that he had held _closest_ to his heart.

“I… have to go.. ,” V said, ignoring his words.

“To Where?! To where at this point, Jihyun!?,”

“Where Rika is,’

 Jumin is at a dead end. He can never win over when Rika is deeply ingrained in V’s heart and mind. But right now,.. right now.. What V is doing.. he is giving himself into the arms of the Death. What.. was he not good enough, giving all the support and care? Why can’t they just tell everyone else about Rika and the cult that she is leading. The new Rika… no.. Jumin will not regard her as the same Rika that he knew.

“Jihyun...,” his voice begged the other man, hoping he will change his mind about this… It is suicide if V is doing this alone. It doesn't make sense.. Jumin has all the special forces underneath his fingertips to assist V to bring down Rika's cult.

...Why is he doing this to himself?

“I’m sorry, Jumin… I can’t hold on to our promise… but it’s for the other’s benefits to not be involved with this..,” V reached his hand up, searching to reach anywhere on Jumin.

 Jumin took V’s hand by the wrist, letting his palm rest on one side of his face. For once, Jumin is glad that V could no longer see clearly… too embarrassed to have his friend seeing him making such a pitiful face. His eyes glistened with tears that threatens to fall. His lips quivered, lost for words to convince V to stay..  he know that it's all futile.

V is blinded with guilt and love... 

Love... Is it worth the fight? 

He can't answer that for sure.. but he knows one thing very well.. 

“Jihyun, ….I did not regret anything,” he had mustered enough courage and energy to speak the words that he had pushed deep in him. Those words that he had wanted to say when they were younger. And with that same courage, he instigated the same thing he had done years ago. He held the other man’s face by the chin, brushing his lips across the other. A quick, soft kiss, and another, and another until V returned the same gesture. Their arms enveloped their bodies into a tight embrace. He knows the kiss won’t be able to make V change his mind, but at least.. at least he wants V to know that he has his heart from the beginning until towards the end.

“Jumin.. I have to go…,” 

And he finds himself alone in the middle of the living room.

Heavy with silent tears.


	6. Attempts.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He is slowly fading away like V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kind messages!  
> It seems like I'm doing the contrary.. ; w; I'm aiming to finish this story in 15 chapters.

**-MC has entered the room-**

 

**Zen**

-Oh! MC~! Have you eaten your breakfast~?

 

**MC**

- Yes, I did. Thank you for asking, Zenny~ How bout you two?

 

**Zen**

- I had a can of beer and some sausages. Saving up for my lunch later. 

 

**Jaehee**

- I only had milk. ; A; 

 

**MC**

**-OMG** , Jaehee! Please get something to eat soon! You have to take care of your health!

 

**Jaehee**

- I will try Q wQ

- Mr. Han has been pulling more and more projects these days. 

- I don’t know if I will be able to sleep either. 

- Q wQ

 

**Zen**

- I am sorry to hear that, Jaehee. And please make sure you get something to eat!

- Lovely ladies needs to have a proper diet.

- As a motivation, I’ll post a selfie~!

 

Zen taps on the camera icon on his screen and gave his best smile, plus a sexy wink to the camera. 

Snap!.

It is his willful duty to keep his fans fueled with motivation through out the day by sharing his beauty (Isn't it such a wonderful thing that he is such a generous man? He is more than happy to share his perfect face and body if it makes others happy. It is a win-win situation for both parties!)

**Jaehee**

- My motivation bar just went to 100%

- I will ensure to finish my task and duties to go back and rewatch one of your famous plays!

- I have to go now, good bye!

 

**- Jaehee has left the room-**

 

**MC**

- Oh my god, Zenny.

- You are so good looking!

- Ugh, I want to meet you so badly~!

 

**Zen**

- One day, we shall my lovely lady.

 

**-Jumin has entered the room-**

 

**Zen**

- I hope you won’t be blinded by my beauty. I would like to get to know you better when we see face to face, Mc

 

**MC**

- Zenny, you’re making my heart flutter. You’re such a perfect man~!

 

**Zen**

- Did I now?~~

\- I apologize for being cursed with this beauty. But I will treat you right, that I can assure~

 

**-Jumin has left the room-**

 

**Zen**

- What…

 

MC

-??? Why didn’t Jumin say anything?

 

**Zen**

- His phone is probably having some problems. Anyways, have you think about what you’re going to wear for the party~?

* * *

 

Work doesn’t disappoint.  **It never disappoints**.

Even if it does, he could fix and rectify the problems to make things to work - by hook or by crook.  

A forced exhale from his nose when Jumin noticed a typo in the current report that he is going through.His fingers graced over the top corner of the page, folding an ear, marking the page and continued where he had left off. A menial error to some - but not under Jumin’s nose.

Sure, he is a perfectionist- being one means that he has good discipline.. and good discipline will always leads to higher productivity rate which equals to outstanding results. 

This is why he could rely on work. The numbers  **always**  predicts positive results - and Jumin likes predictable things. At least he could be  _in control_  and always be on top of his game.The thought brings comfort, putting his heart and mind at ease from other troubling things that is not worth to be noticed by him. If they managed to intrude his time, h could always forget about it when he is buried nose deep in his work.

“Hmm..?” Jumin noticed his phone’s screen lighted up, the small machine vibrated on his desk. 

Zen’s smiling face filled up the whole screen …

The only culprit who will dare to adjust Jumin's phone settings. The young executive had never taken interest on the little things he could do to personalized his phone. It is just a phone.. and he could just buy a new one when needed… That man (Jumin pinched on the bridge of his nose. It doesn't have to take a lot of have him cringed at Zen's vanity) has a habit to set his face on Jumin’s phone. (If Jumin has to compare, it is almost similar with an animal's behaviour to claim a possession. Elizabeth would do the same to her favourite chair in the living room).

Once, Jumin was caught off guard when the young actor had set up a very intimate selfie of them together on Jumin’s wallpaper and lock screen. Jumin had to stop himself a couple of times to think twice when he almost hand his phone to Jaehee during meetings to answer a call on his behalf.He didn’t want to put Jaehee into a shock or depression.. orboth.

Or he could have done that… His lips curved up slightly, a small smile as his eyes adored on the man’s face in his screen. ....So many possibilities, did he see a possible future..?

Jumin reached his hand over to his cell phone, his elegant long finger hovers upon the screen. He took a moment to admire the smile on Zen's face, unconsciously tracing the outlines of the face which belongs to the attractive actor, model, future celebrity wanna be.. he moved his finger over to the bottom corner of his phone... and swiped the red button. 

He felt a twinge in his heart. 

Work  ** _never_**  disappoints. 

* * *

Another huge red cross dragged aggressively across the paper and Zen tossed the pen across the table. An exasperate grunt and loud click of his tongue. He is furious. This is the 30th call he had made this week (Zen has been keeping his scores with J.J; Jumin the Jerk) and that pompous rich brat has been ignoring all of them! This is ridiculous! Zen folded his arm across his chest, sighing loudly in his small apartment. What is going on with Jumin? Usually Jaehee would inform him that Jumin is busy. He will gladly accept that - but for these few weeks.. None! Keiner! Nada!

Admittedly, Zen is sincerely worried of that man’s well being when everyone had noticed how scarce his interaction has become. That dickwad will only come around to only remind MC to update Jaehee on the guests list and other party details. Not that Zen is against this... Zen is truly happy that RFA is finally having another party. However, he is not happy how cold and detached Jumin is becoming day by day. He is slowly fading away like V.

Speaking of which, Seven had mentioned about being suspicious about V’s recent excuses for not being able to pick up his calls. 

Wait.. 

It clicked in Zen’s pretty little head (oh, so pretty~!! He could make an ugly statue  _worth millions_  if he stick his picture on it’s head.). It might just be a hunch and Zen will always trust his gut feel. Could it be something had happened between Jumin and V? 

  

**-Private message-**

 

**Zen**

-Jaehee, is Jumin on a business trip?

 

**Jaehee**

-No, he is always in his office these days.. why do you ask?

 

**Zen**

-Nah, is just that he is not always in the chat room and he won’t pick up his call.. 

 

**Jaehee**

- Oh… Hmm, I could say that we are quite busy this time around.. 

- Q AQ 

- Well, with more Cat related business… 

- Something must have happened. He tends to bury himself with work when he is troubled. 

 

**Zen**

- Do you think you could help me out?

- Can you please let me slip into C & R? I have some important things to ask from him.

 

**Jaehee**

- Sure. Come over tomorrow and tell the receptionist you’re looking for me under RFA. 

 

**Zen**

- Thanks, Jaehee! I’ll bring you lunch!

 

**Jaehee**

\- Looking forward to that * w*


	7. Distance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He knows that is the best he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "All alone I watch you watch her  
> Like she's the only girl you've ever seen," - Gnash ft olivia o'brien
> 
> Please ready any fluff fics or a stash of cat pictures.  
> You will need it.  
> :3
> 
> Side note, i hate how Ao3 mess up with the paragraphs!!!

Nothing wakes Zen up like how rude Jumin is to MC on a Monday morning. How could he expects so much from someone who barely knows anything about the organization? They’ve never seen MC face to face to begin with. For all they know, that girl might have broke down crying at Rika’s place - all alone. That thought made Zen’s stomach dip - hedislikes the idea of mistreating people, women especially. They are delicate individuals after all and they should be protected by a knight in shining armor! 

 

Zen lets the damp towel drape on his head as he scrolled through the chatroom to read the past conversation that he had missed. His good mood after a relaxing shower went down the drain altogether from all the negativity he sees. What is going on in that Mom Cat’s head?

 

Jumin’s mood swings has really gone out of the window. Nobody could predict what the corporate heir will do next. Like a silent storm, he will barge in with an amount of input regarding RFA’s party - from amending the guest lists without any prior notice to MC or Jaehee to changing the party’s venue more than five times. MC is neither Jumin’s assistant nor should she be treated like one! That boisterous rich boy needs to quit his bullshit. 

 

**Private Message**

 

**Zen**

- MC, please tell me if Jumin is rude to you. It’s alright to admit if he is hurting you. I do not like how he is treating you.

 

**MC**

- Um.. he is a little scary… but maybe he is stressed out since V have not come around. 

 

**Zen**

- I’ll drill that in his head. Y’know.. he has all the money in the world but that means nothing if he treats others like a slave. 

 

**MC**

-Zen, thank you for caring. I felt so much better. <3

 

**Zen**

-I’m glad~!

- Ah, I’m pissed at him! I’ll go fresh up my mind and go take a walk. 

- See you~!

- Always think of me~!

 

Yeah, he is going to take a walk…  _into Jumin’s office alright._  

 

* * *

 

“Thanks, Jaehee. I owe you a lot!,” 

Zen beamed his brightest smile at his bobhaired lady companion. He knows under those serious front she’s putting on, he could feel that she’s probably squealing in happinessto be graced with his beauty and charm. The way how she held the lunch box he had brought along, he is pretty sure that is going to be part of her collection (he hopes she eats the food though!). 

“It is all I can do to help. I hope you could do something about Mr. Han. I am concern of his condition and reputation in the company. If he is lacking in the next quarter, I am pretty sure Mr. Chairman will make him go through that arranged marriage,” Jaehee fixed her wide frame glasses, sliding it higher to her nose. 

“That thing with Sarah is still happening?,” 

“Apparently, Mr. Han had requested it to be postponed until further notice,”

“...oh,” Zen halted his steps when they’re in front of a classic looking mahogany red door with Jumin’s name on it. He wondered if that’s the cause of Jumin’s erratic behaviour.. and Zen isn’t comfortable with the fact that Jumin is probably considering it..? or is he just stalling that as long as he can? But that can’t be the actual reason of his erratic behaviour, right?

“Come to my desk when you’re done. I’ll escort you to the lobby,” she bowed her head and turned on her heels - her work is not going to do themselves…. If only there is a cloning machine to clone another Jaehee Kang. 

Hesitation strikes Zen as his hand reached by the doorknob. He is a little anxious when being left alone in an atmosphere that oozed out “executive” and “professional”. He detest it a lot for they reminded him of his family; his older brother specifically. Comparatively, he had thought of Jumin the same - which is the fuel of his dislike towards this man.This was before Jumin had opened up to him little by little. He knows Jumin has more to say than about his worries about his father and the future of his company. 

Jumin only needs a little more time.

He kicked himself on the ass for being a coward, entering the office with his proud stride. “Jumin Han,” -his first instinct is to call out on this man with an aggressive tone. That had earned him Jumin’s famous furious glare. Cold black eyes scrutinizing his being for interrupting his peace at work. “Man, what the fuck is your problem these days?,” Zen had his arms crossed, keeping his chin up - he is not going to let his guard down in front of this man. 

“My current problem is that you came barging into my office without an appointment… I do not appreciate that..,” Jumin’s placed his expensive diamond pen on a special pen  holder that kept the pen levitated from the ground (One of the gifts he has gotten from one of his clients. He thought that it is cool, so he keeps it.).

 

“I don’t mean right now, you jerk. What is it with you being rude towards MC? You’re giving her unnecessary troubles. Also, have you seen Jaehee? She’s not eating properly!!  She’ll faint like that time you were handling the cat fair,”

“It is not my problem if she did not have a proper regime and schedule to keep herself healthy. I had followed the rules to pay her overtime and rewarding her with holidays  when she applies for one,” Jumin rested his head on one of his knuckles, annoyance clear on his expression. His eyes averted away- trying to seem bored. “The company regulations allows her to apply for leaves if she wants to. I won’t have a problem to send her off. She only needs to come and give her dates,” Jumin really couldn’t figure out why  Jaehee insisted that she lack holidays when all she needs to do is apply for one. He may be a strict boss but he isn’t evil enough to do that to his employees. 

“On MC’s case, I did the necessary changes to ensure better security for all of us. Seven had informed that Rika’s apartment was equipped with a special bomb, didn’t he? I changed the venue which is different than the ones we had used. There is a possibility they might have targeted the places..,”he sighed at the end of his explanation. Isn’t the situation obvious enough?

“Then why didn’t you explained it to everyone? You could’ve told them your true intentions behind every actions,” Zen finally figuring out all the reasons behind his demanding instructions. 

“It’s unnecessary,” Jumin shook his head. “Is there anything else I can help you with…? If there isn’t, you can show yourself to the exit,” the executive turned his attention back on the stacks of reports waiting to be validated by him.

 

Zen is  **very**  much pissed.. _So...so pissed!_

Yes, Jumin has a point… but that doesn’t mean he should be rude to anyone! The actor stomped his rider boots on the carpeted floor, slammed his fist against the wooden table."Why do you have to be so rude even when you’re right? Can’t you be a little more kinder with your words? The people around you cares a lot about you. Why are you doing this to them?!,” 

 

“Please refrain yourself from destroying my company’s properties,” Jumin collected his papers, putting them aside. He crossed his legs as he leaned his torso forward with his  sharp, cold eyes staring back into Zen’s fiery crimson eyes. 

 

“Why are you like this?” 

 

_I am scared ._

 

“Why did you ignore my calls and texts? 

 

_Because I can’t bear to let myself be hurt again._

 

“What are you becoming into? I thought you were different!,”

 

_I wish I am too._

 

“What is wrong with you?”

 

_I am a mistake._

 

“Cat got your tongue?,” Zen’s voice dripping with venom. He had leaned closer and closer towards the Jumin, his face hovered close in an attempt to intimidate the older man. 

 

Jumin noticed the physical distance decreasing between them. Whatever words Zen is screaming at his face, they had drowned in the background, his eyes focused on the expression he had managed to gauge from this man. He finds the man fascinating to have such strong passion towards the emotions he expressed. Even in a moment like this, he finds Zen’s capability to express attractive. He would love to see Zen show more expressions that he had never knew could exist in such an extreme level. Jumin took those emotions personally because for him, in his own secluded world, those strong emotions is only meant for him.. and he likes that idea. 

 

But he knows better to end it now.. This will be the last time for him to be graced by this man’s warmth and care. 

 

Jumin pushed himself up from his seat, grabbing the back of Zen’s head, closing the small gap between them to have their lips met. A quick brush of the lips that he knows he will miss from now on. With the amount of knowledge and experience from watching all the soap operas, he had expected a blow on his face. 

 

And a blow he had received. 

He could taste blood in his mouth. 

 

“Do you think I am playing?!,” Zen shouted angrily, grabbing Jumin by his shirt’s collar. “Did you think you can toy with me and get away with that?!"

 

“You’re going to mess my tie,” Jumin retorted calmly, voiding emotions in his voice. He knows what buttons to push this man away from him. 

 

He could feel the constrain growing around his collar, Zen’s knuckles are turning white from all the anger. 

“…Cat got your tongue..?,” Jumin asked the other and found his body being shoved backwards, falling into his armchair. 

 

“You are impossible,” Zen spoke between his gritted teeth, slamming the door at his exit.

 

* * *

 

**Private Message**

 

**Jumin**

- I think you should pay a visit to Zen. You know best how to cheer him up.

- I can send my driver to pick you up..

- Hmm… I realized I do not know Rika’s address..

- Why don’t you come to C & R? My driver can fetch you to Zen’s place. 

 

**MC**

- Really? 

- Thank you very much, Jumin!

 

**Jumin**

- Please consider it as a token of apology for putting you through all the troubles I have caused. 

- I will inform Jaehee regarding this matter too. 

 

Jumin placed his phone carefully on his desk. 

He knows that is the best he could do. 

 


	8. Memory.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “God, Jumin. It is just Fried Chicken!!!,” - Zen 2k16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a writer's block!  
> but I am back with a longer chapter to compensate :3
> 
> Important note!!!
> 
> if you see this - // at the begginning and at the ending of a paragraph - means it's a flashback story~!. 
> 
> I tried fluff //imhorriblewiththisgenre I hope it is okay!

**//** flashback starts here

Zen had a quick grab of a carton of his favourite label beer from the dollar store and a packet of cigarettes. He went up to the cashier to ring up his items but was put to halt in his journey over when he caught the sight of a familiar looking face. Clean face, slightly messy jet-black hair, pinstripe dress shirt paired with a dark vest and an equally expensive blazer with almost the same shade.. and of course, how could one over look the _gold plated_ tie pin? The formal shoes could only be brogue - based on Zen’s knowledge thanks to his constant interaction with the costume department. It seems like he may had come alone (Zen couldn’t see any bodyguards around the store or outside).

..And why is he standing infront of the hot food section with such a confused face? Does he not know how to take them out? Or is he having a staring competition with his own reflection on the transparent glass? (Oh, wait.. that is what Zen would do. He can’t stop staring at his beautiful self when he sees his own reflection!) Jumin may have visited his place often.. Still, this is probably the first time he saw Jumin out alone in the public after the “Break Down” incident. (He had dragged the man to his place after contacting Jaehee and reaffirming with Driver Kim that Jumin will be okay under his care).

“Zen,” the serious monotone voice greeted him.

“What brings a trust fund kid like you to this kind of neighborhood?,” Was Zen’s quick reply. “Or.. in your rich people’s words - _Fancy_ meeting you here,” It is a spontaneous response. Zen couldn’t help it from being mean towards Jumin Han. The man resembled his arrogant and ignorant brother so much and this had him projects his anger towards the corporate executive.

“I have sources informing me that this place has the best Fried Chicken… although, I do stand firmly on my believes that Gourmet Fried Chicken is _better_ ,” Zen follows the direction of Jumin’s eyes as they moved back to where he was looking at previously. “…However, I have never tried the commoner Fried Chicken. I could be wrong and that will be hypocritical of me to believe in my own opinion,” Jumin reached to the container -obviously not knowing what he is doing.

“Hey, wait!! You’re g-.”

Jumin snapped his hand away from the hot tempered glass, his sharp hiss were audible to the both of them. Yeap, he burnt his hand. “...onna burn your hand,” Zen finished his sentence, his dark crimson eyes stares blankly at the director. For once, he finally could call the other man stupid for his lack of knowledge of “commoner’s world”. “Stay here,” Zen placed his carton of beer down next to Jumin, disappeared behind the corner (Jumin is currently clueless to why but stay put, aiding his poor hand), and returned with a bottle of cold beer. He had wrapped his clean towel (He was about to head out for a run after dropping his beer at his place) around it and handed it to Jumin.

“Dab it on your ‘booboo’,” Zen smirked. “And which one do you want? Original, Spicy, Super Spicy, or Honey Mustard?” He asked, opening the door of the device that’s keeping the chicken hot and grabbed a pair of tongs and a paper bag. “So?”

Jumin had a very very confused look on his face and Zen is enjoying every minute throwing random slangs infront of this man. Maybe it’s not so bad when he gets an upper hand in this conversation.

Much to Zen’s surprise, Jumin isn’t a picky eater.

**BUT.**

Zen would very much appreciate if this man could learn to read signals or cues when to shut the hell up. It has been _two hours_ and Jumin is _still_ talking to him on ways how to improve the taste, texture, and techniques to retain the moisture in the meat. “Dude, it is just fried chicken,” Zen looked up from behind his script, eyes narrowing a glare at the man seated at the other end of his sofa.

“But won’t it be better if they do so? Oh, I should write this down and maybe have a small franchise in each local dollar store,” Jumin’s usual dead eyes seems to shine a little too brightly and they are brimmed with excitement even if his face doesn’t show it. He slipped out a pen and a notebook from inside his blazer, hurriedly jotting down the things he had voiced out earlier. His bandaged doesn’t seemed to bother his brainstorming process. “Zen, do you think we should add in more flavours…? or try on a more westernized feel? Or should we stay within the asian region? Chicken Adobo in a convenience store is something different. Different, Affordable, and On the go. What do you think?”

“God, Jumin. It is just Fried Chicken!!!,” Zen sighed out loud. He is exasperated from the constant questions being shot one after the other. All he wanted to do is read and rehearse his line right now. Sure, Jumin is a guest; a self-invited guest.. similar to a stray cat that is around Zen’s housing area. Some days, Zen will find the tom cat sleeping in front of his door which made his life difficult when he returned home from a very exhausting day. That cat seems to like to annoy him on tiring days. On other days, he is not to be found unless he intends to be seen out in the open. Yeap, that’s Jumin alright.

“...Oh.. Sorry… I didn’t mean to.. I just thought it was a good idea,” Jumin placed his pen on top of his scribbled notebook, his gaze to the ground. Was that a sincere apology…? Did the rich boy just apologized and sounded completely sincere? Zen narrowed his eyes, imaginary sweat bullets down his head, placing his hand on his own forehead, checking on his temperature. Nope, not a fever on his side. He extended his hand out and placed it on Jumin’s forehead, determined that it’s a fluke.

“Shit, you’re actually apologizing!” Zen retreat back in shock.

“...?” The young director tilt his head to one side, obviously questioning Zen for the sudden statement. Jumin doesn’t think himself as a dictator. All his life, he practice diplomatic ways to achieve the same goals (unless if it’s a life and death situation). “I do always apologize if I caused any troubles to others,” He affirmed his behaviour. “Isn’t that the right thing to do,?”

“Oh.. oh no! I mean…,” Zen stuttered in panic, thousands of imaginary sweats rained down his head. Shit. He wasn’t suppose to act this way infront of this man. “Well, you’re always so pushy and each time anyone has a different opinion about your idea, you always shove their opinion aside and demands them to do things your way! You rarely apologise, praise, or say thank you to anyone,” Zen explained himself, even though he knows that he doesn’t have to. Not when it comes to this thick head director. Jumin Han doesn’t listen to mere commoners like Zen who is younger and less experienced in life. (Well, fuck you too rich boy.)

“.…My decisions were based on calculated means and supported with evidence. They are based around facts and with 0.0000001% of failure rate,” Jumin defended himself. “and I believe that I do appreciate my workers as well. I present them handsome bonuses if their performance are outstanding,”

“But humans are unpredictable beings, like it or not Jumin! Numbers means **nothing** if you can’t take care of people’s well-being! ”

“I believe I have abide by the labour law and I have never paid any less with the amount of time my workers had sacrificed for the company,” there - his ‘professional’ persona popping it’s head out, ready to defend himself from all the word assault.

“No, Jumin.. You just don’t get it!,” Zen threw his hands up into the air. This is why he hates talking to this man. Jumin will relentlessly defend himself with these ‘law and order’ ordeal. He would like to believe 707’s theory that Jumin is a robot created by the aliens in order to understand life on planet earth. “Money means nothing when your workers do not feel appreciated. I mean… Jaehee said you never mingle with your workers or get involve in any company events. Those are important events where they’ll know more about you and maybe get inspired by you. There’s more to it than money!”  
Zen’s volume rise by the minute when he tried to get his explanation across Jumin’s head.

“Hmmm…,” Jumin flutters his eyes close, chin tucked in - a routine behaviour when he withdrew himself to digest the words thrown to him. “…I will take your words into consideration… You have a valid point.. I will raise the issue with Jaehee to disperse a survey to the company,” He wrote down in his notebook and keeps it together with his pen inside his jacket again. “Thank you for your input, Zen,”

“...eh..,”

Zen swore this is probably the first time he won an argument against this man. Whatever he had said, (whatever it is and he hopes he doesn’t sound stupid.. but his beauty will hide that part of him if that is the case. So that is okay.) he couldn’t remember but he’ll accept his victory with a wide grin. Maybe having Mr. Trust Fund Kid as company isn’t that bad.  

end of flashback **//**

* * *

**(Present Time)**

“Zenny, is everything okay?” MC placed her soft hands on his arm, a worried look on her face.

“Hmm?…yeah. I’m alright. Just spaced out,” He dabbed the butt of his cigarette into the ashtray, killing the flame completely. “I really appreciate that you took your time to come all the way to check on me. I should be the one coming over to your place to make sure you’re not burdened with more work!”

“My work isn’t that hard. It’s just writing emails and double checking venue and time from Jumin and Jaehee. The two of them are working harder than I am,” MC shook her head, such a modest person - Zen couldn’t help but to feel happy being around her. Wouldn’t it be nice to be with someone who cares a lot and are supportive of his career? To add, she isn’t like some of his super fans that has high pitch voices - and good lord they can scream - and scream they did whenever he came across them in the public.

“You have a kind heart, MC. I really can’t believe how lucky I am to see you right before me in person before anyone else. You’re very pretty too~ ,” Zen worked on his charm, making himself comfortable on his only sofa (hey, it’s comfortable enough even though it is not as expensive and luxurious as Jumin’s).

Oh my god, she is so cute when she’s blushinggg!!! Zen’s inner mind screamed his rat’s tail off his head. He just have a little weakness to cute girls like MC who appreciates true beauty and the art of performing. He is truly lucky in his current life - he is sure of it- even if he doesn’t recall how his past lifes are like.

“I heard from Jumin that you’re having a hard time.. so I volunteered to come and cheer you up. Jaehee gave her blessings too!”

Jumin?

* * *

**//** Get your sunnies, flashback begins here!- 

Skip forward two months after Fried Chicken and more visits from Jumin, Zen realized that Jumin is very,  **very** comfortable around him.. and like it or not, Zen actually do appreciate each visits (despite the constant banters - they will resolve them on an equal note.). He had learned to love the sound of Jumin’s low baritone voice (only when he is being rational) and the quiet times they share in each other’s company when there is nothing to talk about. On certain nights when Jumin couldn’t sleep (under one condition that Jumin sleeps on the Sofa if he intends to stay the night), Zen will allow him to read any of his novels to him until Zen snoozed to dreamland. It isn’t so bad. His small basement house felt a little more lively compared to those lonely nights and the chatroom as his cure to keep his negative thoughts away.

“Are you drunk from beer?” Zen pop open another can of beer for himself, surprised to see how red Jumin’s face is.

  
“Had dinner with my father.. and his girlfriend was there,” Jumin’s fingers dented the surface of the can with more pressure. “I drank more than I should at dinner,”

“Well, this is amusing~,” Zen chuckled downed another can. Maybe he should get drunk too..?

It is a mix of amusement and surprise to see Jumin’s face flushed with the ‘Asian Glow’. He looked like he is genuinely blushing and his lack of emotions adds up to make him look cute. What.. did he just put Jumin and Cute together?

“What is..?” Jumin removed his coat. The heat is uncomfortable and the lack of air circulation in this house is making it difficult. “You should a proper air-conditioner for this place,” he commented offhandedly, finishing off his current can and placed it aside.

“And I expect you will be paying all the bills for me if I do?” Zen snorted, handing him the next can. Jumin didn’t refused the cheap alcohol at all. “You really want to get drunk or something?”

“That woman said something that made me uncomfortable,”

“Like what”

“Nothing of your concern… It’s not that important,”

Zen instinctively grabbed a fresh can, shaking it hard while his void blank stare focused on the prick before him. He aimed the can towards Jumin and popped the tab -oh yeah, beer spray all over you dumb jerk. How does that feel? Zen’s inner voice screamed in pure victory. He’ll clear the mess later anyway, so it doesn’t matter.

“What the fuck…?,” Jumin’s tongue slipped, looking thoroughly pissed. His expensive clothes are soaked with sticky substance!

“That is how I feel whenever you say that,” Zen brushed him off and waved his hands infront of the other man. “Bathroom is at the other end. Go wash yourself. I’ll give you extra clothes,”

Zen get on the move to clean his kitchen and lets Jumin take care of himself. He didn’t feel bad. In fact, he finds it hilarious and comedic.. and Jumin didn’t said anything… So he supposed that the man doesn’t mind… or is he considering what he had said? Heh~ He can be such a cute person if he actually stops thinking too much or hides his emotions away. Zen giggled to himself and embraced the fact that Jumin is kind of cute. He has a handsome, clean face for a corporate man and his figure isn’t that bad either.

…

Is he _seriously_ considering Jumin is good looking? (Well, maybe not as good looking as yours truly!)

“Zen,” I think your pants are a bit too big for me,” the corporate man entered the kitchen, freshened up and in a set of fresh clothes; Zen’s sleeping t-shirt seemed to eat up Jumin’s figure and his sweats are indeed too big for Jumin’s small waist and shorter legs. He is dwarfed down in those clothes. 

“You can just pull the ropes like this to make it tighter,” Zen went over to secure the pants, lifting the baggy t-shirt up - but Jumin had slapped his hands away before he could do anything. Panic painted in his eyes.

“...Dude, I’m just going to help you secure the pants. What’s your problem?,”

“Sorry.. Intrusive thoughts…,” Jumin admitted part of what he had in mind. Did he stutter? It must be the alcohol. 

“Like what? Me touching you inappropriately?” Zen rolled his eyes with a snark. “ **Fat** chance,” he backed Jumin up against the wall, grabbing by the hem of his shirt and forcefully lifting up the shirt - even when Jumin protested ,trying to keep himself covered. Obviously Zen has a greater advantage in term of strength no matter how hard Jumin tries to protect himself.

“Stop being so whiney and scared! I’m only g-,” His eyes widens as big as the saucer’s plate. Is that a huge scar? It may be old, but why is it so inappropriately long? Zen isn’t stupid to think it’s just a common scar. There are evidence of stitches too. “Jumin,”

“Stop Staring.” Jumin gritted on his teeth, The deep humiliation runs deep in his blood. He dislikes how pathetic he is right now - overpowered and exposed of an old scar he would like to forget. Hideous memories embedded deep together with it’s existence in and on his body. He felt his stomach turned to be reminded of it.

“How.. and Why? “

“.…Another time... when I am ready,” His gaze shied away from Zen’s concerned -is that pity he detects? “I don’t need your pity”

He felt himself being shoved up onto the wall that he was pushed up to and an angry grumble from the silver white haired actor. “Do you think I did this out of pity? ....Pretentious prick!,” Zen placed his palm on Jumin’s stomach, right on top of his scar. “I wouldn’t have allowed you inside my home if you’re not someone that I care for -even if you act like a jerk 90% of the time.,” 

Jumin grew uncomfortable to be cornered and for the first time after a long while, someone’s hand touching him rather intimately. “Zen,… it is really not a huge concern,” he tried to negotiate but failing when the actor deliberately mocked him when he finds himself pinned up against the wall, no room to run now.

“Please… don’t do this to me,”

A soft plea.

And Zen’s anger dispersed, stopping his unintentional assault. He sees tears. Jumin is in tears; shaken and distraught. Did he overdid it? Shit. He should have known better when he himself had witness Jumin’s sudden break down -but he didn’t cry. He just blacked out!.

Who is the prick now Hyun Ryu? He scolded himself. (BUT HE DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO TURN THIS WAY. He’d expect the executive to punch him in the face rather than suddenly bursting into tears).

Fuck.

He has to do something or he’ll be in trouble.

“Hey… I’m.. sorry.. I don’t mean to,” Zen carefully approached the shaken man. “Jumin, I am really sorry.” placed a hand on Jumin’s shoulder - maybe he could try to hug him?.. if there’s no objection…

“I won’t force you to do anything you didn’t want to,” he dropped his hand down to Jumin’s balled fist, gently holding him. It was a wild guess, trying to figure out how to help. “Jumin, I’m really sorry. I’ll do anything to make it up for my bad behaviour,” why the hell is he treating this man like any other woman?

It took a while until Jumin had calmed down - he had willingly allowed himself to be in Zen’s arms, using the man’s shoulder to weep it out of his system. Zen is perplexed how quick Jumin had recovered, perhaps in 15 minutes record time? The man didn’t said anything but stayed in his arm -now completely void of any emotions.

  
“Zen,”

“!!! Yes?!,” Zen replied instantly.

“You said you’ll do anything to make it up,”

Is it too late to take back those words? He had probably forgotten that Jumin is a businessman by nature. “Ugh… yes.. Yes, I did,”

“Sleep with me,”

 **//** end of flashback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Jumin doesn't really make sense with his thought process..  
> I hope i cn explain it in the next chapter! > 3


	9. Glimpse.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex is painful and Zen is angry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O wO I'm so sorry with all the tease. 
> 
> but I am not.

Jumin’s bore dark eyes stares at Zen’s slacken jaw and a horrid look; his already pale skin turned paler than it should. Oh, did he actually slipped the first word that came through his mind? Should he retract and regret for saying so?

“Is the request too heavy to carry out…?” he asked. His grip curled around the soft fabric with his eyes averted away - waiting for rejection. He figured that he came on too strong and Zen isn’t V. It is not his fault to begin with. Jumin was constantly told by Rika and V about his “ **Zero Fucks and No Chill** ” spectrum. He doesn’t have a middle ground when it comes to putting effort and tends to come of too strong when he tried to fit in ‘normally’.

“You _think_..?” Zen’s bewildered eyes gave Jumin the ridiculous stare. His heart thumping hard and fast against his rib cage. What the hell did he got himself into? And how the hell Jumin recovered so quickly from his sudden outburst? He isn’t faking this shit up to reel him into this petty trap, is he? But V had once approached him and said that Jumin is a difficult puzzle piece to understand his mind. He should be a little more patient when being shoved with a difficult situation.

“I hope you will try to reconsider…?,”

“Look, Jumin… This.. _right here_ is crossing the _line_ ,” Zen wedged his arm in between their chest, freaking out how calm Jumin. “I am not even sure if you’re trying to guilt trip me or something. This doesn’t feel _right_ ,” He pushed himself, making the small gap grew bigger. Seriously, V how do you handle such a scary person and could still have a cheery smile? Is the patience worth it, V? How do I befriend your weird friend, Mr. I-am-Not-Available-Most-Of-The-Time?

“Then.. _what_ makes it feel right..?” Jumin placed his hand on top of Zen’s which is pressing firmly down on his chest. “ _How_ does it feel right?” oh god, why is Jumin acting like a little child now?

“You just do when you’re with the one you love,” Zen furrowed his brows. Isn’t it that a common knowledge?

“.…I can’t do it with Elizabeth,” Jumin genuinely said, worried lines build up on his forehead. He looked traumatized with such thoughts. “No way I can do that to my princess,” Zen doesn’t want to know - he doesn’t _need_ to know. Rather, he’ll gladly erase this particular memory.

“Of course you can’t! What the hell Jumin!” palm to his face. “Jumin, don’t ever tell me what you’ve seen in your head!”

“..But..,” Jumin protest was cut short with Zen’s hand pressed on top of his mouth. Nope, Zen is not having it. Nope nope nope. Not today. He wish to be ignorant right now.

“Fine. I will reconsider but I will have to lay out conditions before you ever lay your hands on me. I have a reputation to keep,” Zen grumbled - let’s just get this done and over with.

\--

  1. No complains if his breathe smells of cigarette and /or beer.
  2. No complains if he couldn’t get it “up” and that fault will fall to Jumin’s.
  3. Condoms are a must. Safe sex is important.
  4. STRITCLY NO CATS, CAT HAIR, CAT EARS, OR CAT PICTURES ANYWERE.
  5. Zen doesn’t bottom for anyone. He is a man who is interested with women only. (Tonight is an exception to shut Jumin up for good or so he thought).
  6. Have he stated how important about no cats?
  7. MOST IMPORTANTLY NO ONE. NO. FUCKING. ONE. FROM. RFA. CAN KNOW ABOUT THIS.



“Are we clear?,” Zen tap the butt of the pen on top of the list he had written down for Jumin to read. He slid the list closer towards Jumin who read through everything carefully.

“May I add a little more?” Jumin asked, beckoning Zen to give the pen to him.

  * No feelings involved.
  * Should any of the above happens, this contract will be nullified.



“Feelings?” the actor snorted. “Don’t you worry, I don’t think that will ever happen. What we’re having is additional benefits,” Is he really considering friends with benefits with Jumin? IS HE REALLY? He isn’t gay or anything.. but it’s rare to find a gem that will throw itself to Zen’s feet. A rough diamond at that. He isn’t a goodie-two-shoes to begin with. It’s not so bad to explore a different market. (Now he can confirm that his beauty is irresistible for both man and woman).

“Benefits. Friends with Benefits.” Zen hummed, signing his real name on the paper. It looked silly but he is not taking chances with a manipulative man. “Sign next to my name,” Zen shoved the paper over to Jumin who did the same.

* * *

Jumin is a timid man.

Zen noticed when he fidgeted on the hotel bed, running his gaze away from looking directly at Zen. He is plucking on the blanket’s material - is he nervous? His beautiful face doesn’t show it. They looked like they’re void from emotions - only a with a solemn look. Is the man regretting to go over this whole thing? Zen doesn’t mind either outcome of today’s ‘super special meet up’.

Today is the day Zen teaches Jumin about sex-ed.

  
Today is the day Zen will do something that is out of his comfort zone - something he’d thought he won’t explore.

“You don’t have to do it if you’re nervous,” Zen took off his white coat and let it hang on the coat hanger. He saunters over to sit on the other end of the bed, giving as many space Jumin need.

“I’m not used to be alone with another person in an intimate setting,” Jumin picked up his phone, trying to distract himself. Thousands of thoughts are flashing at the back of his eyes. He felt overwhelmed to how much this moment is driving him crazy. “I’m scared out of my mind,”

“Relax,” Zen crawled from his side to Jumin’s, placing his hands on the older man’s shoulder- it is stiff a.f. “You need to relax and let things take it’s course. You can’t have a perfect session at all.,” Zen massaged him gently, trying to help with Jumin’s situation. Such a comedic moment and a little fulfilling to be able to drive Jumin into a nervous state.

“Let’s take this off,” Zen hooked his fingers by the collar of Jumin’s black blazer, pulling it back and had it removed from his torso. He tossed it aside and crawled closer, kneeling and have Jumin’s head leans on his chest and his back on his torso. “There, there… Breathe in.. and out… in.. and out..,” Zen spoke in a hush tone, sneaking on to his neck tie, undoing it slowly to let Jumin feel more relaxed. “close your eyes, no peeking..,” Zen slides it off from Jumin’s collar and used it to tie around his eyes. Blindfolded.

“Now… think of someone you have in mind -Elizabeth doesn’t count,” Zen made a point to say that for reasons. “Anyone, just anyone you ever had touched or been touched,”

“..but..,”

“Shh, what did we agreed on?” Zen hushed Jumin with a finger pressed on his lips. “Shhh… be a good boy.,” Zen took the moment to use the range of vocals he has, trying to seduce and reduce this man to his orders. “Think.. of that time.. anyone will do.. when they had touched you?,”

Zen felt Jumin squirmed uncomfortably, sitting still with his head bowed forward -is he thinking of someone? Now Zen’s job will be easier. He is going to use the Red Hot Jalapeno skit to see how far he could bend this man to his wishes. He rand his hand to palm down Jumin’s chest, plucking the buttons open to free another piece of garment that’s unnecessary for Jumin’s whole outlook. He could skip the vest honestly. He could rock the suit and tie just fine.. and look better if he could mess up this perfectionist executive. With the vest out of the way, he tugged on Jumin’s dress shirt out, letting the tails peek out as he unbuttoned the whole set of buttons to reveal a very well toned body - a runner’s body. Lean and healthy, flawless skin if one disregards the big scar Zen had saw.

Jumin’s breathing is a little stressed. His body rigid in Zen’s arms and he is refused from having any visuals to expect what might come. He flinched when he felt warm fingers caressing on his scar, easily panic. He hates being overly vulnerable and unable to dictate what is his next plan. “Zen,” He blurted Zen’s name under his shaky breathe. “Zen… I’m.. worried..,” He said, turning his head when he hears the voice responding to his worries.

“You have to trust me,” Zen leaned to place a gentle kiss on Jumin’s forehead. One is enough to assure this will be okay.

“Nhh.. okay..,”

He whimpered.. _how cute_. Zen grinned to himself, resting his chin on Jumin’s shoulder as his hands explored the skin underneath his tips. He is trying to find any signs of sensitivity and lean more of Jumin’s body. He suppose that Jumin does have a good body. He sighed, his breath brushed into the shell of Jumin’s ears. A nothersoft whimper emitted from the man in his arms, a hand shielding his poor ear from any more assault.

So, Jumin’s ears are sensitive. Zen plucked the intruding hand away, making Jumin to comply if he wants to follow this through. “Don’t wreck the fun,” Zen whispered closely to Jumin’s ears, brushing his lips to tease the man more. He likes what he sees and he adores the sounds Jumin made when he nip on the ear, licking down to the lobe. Such wonderful, strained, and muffled noises came from Jumin’s lovely mouth.

“You’re more sensitive than most girls I had bed,” Zen teased, nibbling on the lobe and flicked his fingers on the perky pink nub. “Do you ever get this sensitive…? Do you touch yourself?,” He purposely pinched on the rosy pink nipple, earning quite a growl. “Come now, Jumin.. do you touch yourself?,”

... .. ..

_“Do you touch yourself when you think of me, Jumin? I’m sure every boy your age are crazy for me..”_

_“You’re more handsome than your father. It is such a waste to let you go,”_

_“Good boy, you’re doing a very good job.. Don’t be shy. Mommy will teach you how it’s done”_

_“You’re a bad, bad, boy Jumin Han… You cum inside mommy~”_

_...  .. .._

 

“..Y..Yes,” Jumin reflectively had his hand shot to his crotch, palming his growing erection. What is this danger he sensed in his system. He couldn’t comprehend. Is it fear and anxiety..? “Please..,” was he programmed to say that? How far back had he repressed those hideous memory?

“Gladly,” Zen’s chest bubbled with a low chuckle. How did he reduced Jumin so quickly into someone so needy? He wonders if Jumin is really attracted to him or something. If this will turn out into a cruel Joke, Zen isn’t going to be the butt of it. He dragged the man to the centre of the bed, laying him down on the oh so fluffy mattress. This bed is going to shake when he is getting it on.

“Please…” _Stop._

Words stuck in his throat and he had blindly grasp on anything that he could reach as he felt himself being laid down. Foreign hands - rough hands- are roaming his naked body. It is Zen. Zen is touching him, holding him.. He tried to convince his inner mind. It is not someone he isn’t uncomfortable with. He is not the scared teenager he was. He is a man, an adult to boot. There is not that woman who took advantage of him with threatening words or lies to use him. He is an adult male and he is being touched by someone who he can trust.

“...Please…,” _I am scared._

He bit back a sob, feeling that first painful pinch after 8 years of celibacy from his first heartbreak. His nails dug into the skin of Zen’s back, his body trembled like a leaf, enduring it all. The tie covering his eyes surprisingly soaked in the tears well, making it impossible to notice if he did cried.

“H-hey… is this okay..?” Zen’s spoke in between his short panting, his chest is gleamed with sweat. He hissed as Jumin dug his nails deeper, dragging them up to his shoulder* Fuck, Jumin, don’t fucking leave a mark,”

“M-move…!,” Jumin choked his words with an attempt to mute his pathetic sobs.

Sex is painful.

Jumin thinks. His body is shaking each time Zen’s strong hips snapped deep in him. His screams of agony were muffled by the sounds of the white noise that are growing louder and louder by the minute. He felt like he is turning deaf. There’s nothing good about sex. Blood are rushing too fast at the wrong places but at the right time. He had saw a glimpse of his dark past - was he conditioned at such a young age to detest sexual pleasures? Did he do it to himself?

His stomach felt weird, felt like there is a coil tightening every minute with Zen’s cock tearing his inner walls. He felt scared how he is unable to control or predict what might happen. He wants to stop. He needs this to stop. But his tongue are tied with Zen in a very uncomfortable kiss. Teeth are clashing and lips bruised from the lack of experience. He doesn’t know how to kiss. He is afraid how intimate this kiss is turning into.

Please.. he is scared and he is in pain.

Light suddenly poured into his vision, blinded for a while until his eyes refocused. Zen’s face is flushed, brows knitted tightly. His hair is plastered to his face - those red eyes gazing deep into Jumin’s scared ones. “You.. suck in kissing,” He grunted, sheathing himself deep inside Jumin and stayed in the position. He reached to gently caress on Jumin’s cheek, an annoyed sigh came upon his lips “...You have been crying…? You could’ve said something, Jumin!”

Sex is painful and Zen is angry.


	10. Glimpse II.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He did not see it coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello people!  
> Here's another chapter!  
> I had another writer's block and was swamped by work. Now I'm back all thanks to my friend who helped me to figure out how to tackle the story. 
> 
> Also, I have a feeling that 15 chapters won't be enough if i need to fill in the plot holes. 
> 
> Huehuehuehueh more angst fodder for all of yous~!  
> Enjoy. 
> 
>  
> 
> BTW, still in flashback. Continuation for Glimpse.

Of course Zen is not angry~~~ He is **annoyed**.

Annoyed at the grown man that is currently under his mercy had his common sense thrown out of the window. He totally understand If he is hooking up with a virgin and he expects Jumin has experience in this department After all, he is 5 years his senior and he owns a goddamn company. He has a lot of secretaries who will gladly open their legs for him. (based on the tabloids he reads. Sometimes he does suspect that Jumin and Jaehee are sleeping together). Jumin’s sudden ‘special’ request did caught him off guard and he did expect to see a different Jumin in the outcome.

However, he did not see _this_ coming.

Although Jumin’s body is very receptive to every intimate touch and kisses Zen initiated, Zen felt like it was done out of the obligation to appease him. His assumptions are validated with the dark pool filled with unexplained fear when their gaze met after a heated kiss. (Really...? fear?) He never expected to see this really vulnerable side of Jumin to resurface.

“You’re not in pain, are you?” Zen asked, brushing the damp strands of hair away from the older man’s handsome face (okay, he _is_ handsome. Zen admits it - how can he deny beauty when he sees one?). No verbal response from Jumin but he had tear his gaze away from Zen’s, avoiding the fingers that are touching his face. Is he being a masochist to avoid from any types of interaction that depicts warmth? Zen is confused and concerned. Or is he too ashamed to admit something? (He isn’t reaaaallllyyy a virgin, is he?)

“I am going to move,” Zen lands a kiss on Jumin’s cheek, dragging it down to his neck. Jumin's dress shirt is all crumpled up underneath him - a mess. Jumin is a mess. Zen groaned in his inner mind, refraining himself from snapping his hip so suddenly with Jumin being utterly awkward and inexperienced-like. He prefers if his sleeping partner to be more active and less nervous. Sex is suppose to be good and feel good!

“Jumin?,” Zen raised his gaze up to Jumin’s face. He grew worried when he felt Jumin’s grip on his arm trembling. “Jumin…?!” Zen found himself caught off guard for the second time this evening; Jumin is openly crying - a silent plea for something. “Shit, you’re not hurt -are you?” What the fuck has Zen gotten himself into? He did a quick double take in between Jumin’s thighs..heaved a huge sigh of relief... nope - no blood thankfully.

“ _Stop.. please.._ ” it is extraordinarily unusual for Zen to hear a waver in the older man’s voice. It sorts of feeds his ego to feel in power but a rush of guilt overcame instead. (Is he suppose to feel guilty? He didn’t initiate the first move to begin with.) Jumin took the chance to recoil his body into a ball once Zen removed himself, never had felt the need to want to hide himself as much as he can. These unnecessary tears need to cease.

“Hey,” gentle fingers stroke through his tangled locks. Jumin winced, his inner mind scolded; it is undeserving to receive such fervor care. What is he trying to do to ask such things? He can’t erase all those nightmares or all those regrets that came back biting for being suppressed. The scar he has holds a huge reminder how desperate he was wanting to escape from reality.

Disgust. Shame. Contempt.  
It filled up to the brim.

He swore he was an obedient son to his father and mother; always meeting their expectations in his academics and other things they had picked for him. He tried harder after the divorce, thinking it is his fault - thus trying hard to compensate by being more hardworking, taking more initiative to get close with his parents; his father specifically in hopes he will stop looking at other women and focuses on his family.

All that he wanted as a child is a family he can truly call his own. He could care less about the money.. all he wanted was a father and a mother who cares for the family like how he cares for them. 

After the re-marriage, Jumin saw it as a second chance. His mother had never come to see him after the custody falls to his father. He was in his teens when he finally live together with his father’s new wife; twice younger than his father’s age to be honest. On a first impression Jumin deducted that she was a kind woman - attentive, bright, and caring. She treated him as her own and he noticed how more committed his father is to the new family. Jumin was hopeful.. High hopes that his small wish could came true at least.

_.....Good things always comes to an end...._

That hope were crushed on the first year his father went for an outstation. The woman he had grew comfortable around with finally bears her true nature. All these while,, she had her filthy fingers wrapped around Jumin and his father with her acting skills. Jumin did tried to tell his father but was brushed off, being told that his worries are unnecessary. “You are only paranoid. Take up some hobbies,” his father told him over the phone. Angered and betrayed, his best plan of action is to ignore and pay no heeds towards her despicable demeanor.

Until one evening upon returning from a long day at school. He came through the front door of his home, stumbled upon the wretched witch with a few ‘friends’ of hers who are over for drinks. She approached him - with a sly smile on her red painted lips. “You reported me, didn’t you?” her smile grew wider. “Your father told me of your ‘ _worries_ ’ and I was offended,” Jumin narrowed his eyes, avoiding the nasty glare. He noticed how venomous the words being thrown at him - accusing him trying to break the family. “You’re old enough to understand these things Jumin. I’m sure of it~ Besides, I have a feeling that you’re jealous with your father,” her giggle displeased his ears. “I’m constantly being hunted by the bachelors~ I know you're jealous of the men I'm seeing too.. hmm? After all, My face and body is always on the cover of the magazines… Tell me Jumin, I know you yearn for ‘mommy’,”

_“Do you touch yourself when you think of me, Jumin? I’m sure every boy your age are crazy for me..”_

He was at a tender age of fifteen when he learn what humiliation felt like. He had learned the hard way how humiliation cuts deep into a person’s being. He understood the struggle of what it felt to be absolutely helpless and alone - how highly desperate he was trying find an escape from those despicable time.He refused to remember the details. He refused to speak of it, internalizing those memories with productivity to keep his intrusive thoughts at bay. He refused to acknowledge what had took place. Despite all that, the huge reminder that woman had generously carved on his stomach with a piece of a glass from a broken wine bottle served the purpose enough.

_Jumin._

_Jumin Han!_

“Jumin Han, you ass! Look at me! Don’t scare me!” warm sturdy hands are holding his face. “Jumin, are you alright?!” Zen raised his voice, in hopes to snap Jumin out of his trance. He couldn’t figure out if this man is hyperventilating or breaking down or what is even going on?! Any gods out there, please for the love of vanity!

“...Zen..?”

That had Zen breathe easy, finally. Jumin is out from his catatonic-like state.

“ Are you okay? You spaced out and sort of hyperventilated,”

“.…oh..,” the corporate man pushed his head into the soft pillow, glad it’s over.

Oh?!! What do you mean oh?!!!? Zen bit back his tongue. This is not the time to interrogate someone who seemed like he had run three marathons without stopping. Jumin looked weary, tired, and most importantly, fragile. Not a description Zen would use to describe Mr. Han at all.

“...Please don’t tell me this is your first time or something. You looked terrified and I seriously thought you were hurt,” the actor genuinely expressed his worry, squeezing the hand he had been holding for the past. The same gesture returned to him but only briefly.

“...Tell me a story..,”  
Zen narrowed his eyes, glaring daggers at the man who is adjusting himself into a comfortable position facing towards Zen, his head laid closer towards Zen’s side of the bed. This man can’t be serious, can he? Is he even trying to establish any kind of relationship with Zen? This felt like he is trying to avoid the questions asked! Zen felt a twitching vein that is about to pop. He resolved right here, right now that he is handling an entitled brat who has tantrum issues. Again, what had gotten himself into?

“.…Please.. it calms me down,” Zen found the other man pleaded again- now with a low gruff voice. More like Jumin that he knows but still with a little vulnerability in his tone.

“Alright.. alright..,” Zen huffed, laying on his side of the bed and placed his elbow to the mattress, resting his hand on his knuckle. He thought for a moment what story would be suitable the most for he rarely tells a bed time story to a man- a more than a trillion dollar business man to be exact. Out of habit, he reached out to stroke his partner’s hair, threading gently to help ease the stress from the other.

“...Once upon a time.. ,”

Zen watched how the other reads him with those eyes as he listen to Zen’s stories. No questions were raised no matter how absurd Zen twisted the plot (in hopes to see if there are any protest). Jumin had laid still in his corner, listening (is he? Or is he waiting for the right time to pounce on Zen ‘aha! Got ya!’ style). His dark iris were more focused to either Zen’s lips or chest - never to his eyes. This is the first time he noticed such behaviour from Jumin. Had he been this way? Jaehee did spoke something about Jumin being an awkward penguin. She said somewhere in between the lines that Mr. Han couldn’t handle any non-business situation if he is left stranded with another person.

Jumin is such a difficult puzzle.

“You should sleep, it is getting late,”

“...I..can’t sleep.. not yet,” Jumin closed his eyes. “I have to work on something in another five minutes. I brought some reports to read later,”

“Can’t you just take it easy for the evening? It’s going to be midnight,” Zen tucked a hair strand behind Jumin’s ear.

“I can’t”

Zen sighed exasperatedly.   
This evening has been one of a hell of a roller coaster ride.

 

 


	11. Sacrifice.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is why Jumin's intention is constantly being misunderstood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I was swamped with work and find myself dead on the bed before I could do any input.  
> ; w; just managed to do this!  
> I hope the story is still enjoyable. I've been told that my grammar is bad (I will improve!)  
> I will do a re-write once I'm done with this. (Possible additional plot / longer chapter)  
> And yes, this will not be 15 chapters. My friend made a point that it will not be from the way how I've written this so far. Q wQ

“Zenny, there you are!” MC chimed cheerfully as she joined the handsome actor at his balcony.

Zen didn’t think she would be looking for him at this late hour, assuming the lady were fast asleep in his room. “Hold on, let me finish this. I feel bad smoking in front of a lady,” he pulled on his dazzling smile, pressing the butt of the cigarette in the empty beer can, extinguishing the flame before disposing it into the said can. He waved his hands around, hoping the air isn’t too toxic.

“I’m fine, Zenny~ Thank you for being such a gentleman,” She step outside, taking a seat next to him. “You looked like you had a lot in mind… and little lost. I almost mistaken you as a lost white puppy,” MC teased, her bubbly giggles had Zen felt at ease. “So, tell me what’s on your mind,” She tucked her hair behind her ear s and pulled her long auburn hair to let it drape down her chest. She noticed Zen had been staring and tilt her head, an innocent child-like look on her face. Non-verbally asking if there’s something on her face. Zen chuckled, personally adore how cute MC is and how brave she is to come over in the dead of the night to comfort his soul.

Zen looked up above, appreciating the stars that came out to play on this warm summer evening. He heaved out a heavy sigh, linking his fingers together and bowed his head forward. His thoughts are in turmoil - He is angry, confused, but felt a sense of relief to have someone right now to help him talk things out. “It’s a difficult situation, MC….,” Zen lifted his chin up, eyes gazing to the starry sky.

“I’ve been an independent guy through out my life. Running away from home taught me how to survive a harsh life…I did a lot of bad things too. Times were hard and I was desperate… but..everything I have achieved and where I am now is from all of my hard work,” His eyes shined proudly. It is no easy feat for a lone teenager to survive the adult working world. “I always make sure I have good rapport with the people around me - be it with the guys from RFA, the people I met in theater, or the biker gangs I’ve ride with in my younger years. Close friends are family that you choose after all.. and being a runaway - it is a blessing in disguise,”

“Right now.. I’m faced with an unfavorable position where neither am I prepared for nor able to figure a way out… Well - I can but it is not as easy too…I ran into trouble with a friend of mine. He is too stubborn for his own good.. and we’re in a middle of a cold war,” he offered a weak smile. “I feel really pathetic saying this.. Still, I regarded him as an important person no matter how many times we fight over small things,”

“Hmmm,” MC pressed her forefinger upon her luscious lips (it’s probably close to midnight. Get a hold of yourself, Zen. This is not the time to play around), in a thinking notion. “I am going to assume that you are at your wits end to whatever is going on. My best suggestion is to wait things out and see how things turn out? They say you can drag a thirsty man to a huge river, but you can never force him to drink,”

“..Yeah… I guess I have to rely on that,” Zen heaved out a deep long sigh. “…Thank you for listening to me.. You have been very patient and kind towards me. I’m still surprised that you’re not tired listening to my vain stories,” he joked, trying to rid the sudden heavy mood off from them. It is not like him to be negative to himself and around others. “I really like you, MC” slightly abashed to speak his mind. “It feels strange…. I feel like I’ve known you for a very long time to tell you this much about me,”

“Zenny, are you flirting with me?” MC’s giggles brightened up his heart even if it is just by a little.

“Why do you think that is,” He felt blood creeping up to his face. Ha, caught in the act!

“Please, Zen. It is not so hard to read you when you’re being flirty,” MC rolled her eyes, her teeth showing as she tried to hide her own blushing cheeks. “Silly boy,”

Zen lets out a hearty laugh, nodding his head to agree with her. It felt good to be around someone who could make him feel this comfortable and relax. He could totally trust in her to safekeep his dark dirty secrets and breathe easy to know she won’t blabber to anyone about it. What else could Zen ask for to be met with a kindred spirit like MC? “Can I..hold you hand?”  
“Didn’t you say that all men are wolves when it hits midnight?,” MC stuck her tongue out, shaking her forefinger. “I have to be careful around you, Zen. It is already half past midnight~!”

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry for keeping you this late,” Zen apologized upon realizing his mistake. He shouldn’t have hold her back up till this late! How dare he go against his oath to care for the lady’s well-being.

“Zenny, my knight in shining armor. I’ll allow you to escort me to the front door where my carriage awaits me,” She held her hand out all dramatically for Zen to take - he did indeed, taking the maiden’s hand and hooking it around his well toned arm..

“Milady, it is an honour to oblige to your wishes,” He bowed and proceed like the gentleman he is to accompany MC all the way to the waiting car. ( Oh, it’s Driver Kim. Zen acknowledged the older gent, smiling ear to ear.). “I suppose we shall meet again when the time comes…? Until then, I will miss you, Milady,” He kissed her hand and gave his signature wink as a goodbye bid.

“Until then, my brave knight~!,”she waved, the black tinted window rolled up and the car slowly moved out from the parking lot.

* * *

 

**-Private Message-**

**Jumin**  
\- How did the visit go? Is he alright?

 **MC**  
\- Yes, he is in a good mood before I left.  
\- He told me a lot of personal things.. about his family and how he survives after running away from home.  
\- There are a lot more to learn about Zen. He has an interesting character.

 **Jumin**  
\- I am glad I made the right decision to ask you.  
\- I hope his progress continue to improve.

 **MC**  
\- Jumin, I wonder if anyone in the RFA sees that you’re a really good friend?  
\- They always think of you as a mean boss or a robot.

 **Jumin**  
\- …? Why would you think so?

 **MC**  
\- You went as far as you can to help everyone. I am pretty sure that even if you're born poor in the next life, you will still go out your way and do everything you have in your power to help them. 

 **Jumin**  
\- I consider this is a compliment?  
\- Really appreciate the gesture, MC. Thank you.  
\- Honestly, I was about to ask if you’d like to pay a visit to him anytime soon? Initially, I wanted to propose a special request for you in return for making this visit possible. I decided against it because I have found a better prospect.  
\- Anyways, If you wish to pay Zen another visit.. feel free to contact me. I will send my driver to escort you over.

Jumin placed his phone onto the night stand and rested his arm upon his forehead. He probably needs Tiaranol right now. His head is buzzing with white noise… is it a headache..? Another sigh emitting from his lips. 

_Frustration...?_

He felt the big dip inside his stomach when his mind continues to nag him that this is for the best. Zen should belong with someone who can guide him to be a better person, the bigger man,.. and MC seems to fit all of the requirements. The woman is very proactive and tentative towards Zen. She picks up his emotionally needs easily compared to Jumin. Above all, she is a woman.. of course. Jumin couldn’t compete with that even if he has all the money in the world. 

Countless times on the evenings Jumin had spent with Zen, they would share some personal things with each other. Of course, their expected future was one of their late night topics. Having a sharp memory, of course Jumin recalled their discussions perfectly word by word. The talk came up unexpectedly after Zen turned down another modeling job from a big company (not C & R). Jumin rained him with sets of Whys and Hows for being so willing to let go of a very promising jump in the entertainment business. Zen sat him down for a good solid 30 minutes and ran through with Jumin about his expectation towards his own self as an actor, not as a model.

 _“You can call me stupid for letting the opportunity go.. but I am doing this for my own best interest. Of course, I will have a jump start but I do not want to be known as the model turned actor. I do not want to rely fully on my looks to get away with life. Beauty withers with time but skills are earned and honed through it,_ ” Those words are loud and clear in his mind.

Broadway, Manhattan is the first in the list among other cities that the aspiring actor would like to travel to one day with his hard earn money. He had expressed this dream with high hopes and determination that he will make it come true for him. Once that ticked off from Zen’s bucket list, he then would like to settle down with “an adorable wife and two kids” in a comfortable home somewhere in this city. Grow old beautifully with her and hope his children will have a better life than his.

Jumin can afford to subliminally help Zen with his career growth and he knows Zen will hate him for that.

Jumin can afford to pay any return flight tickets to any dream destinations Zen has in mind and he knows Zen will refuse to take the offer.

Jumin can’t afford to be the one to _‘grow old and beautiful_ ’ together with Zen. He can’t fit any of the requirements as a _cute wife_ who can bear Zen two beautiful children. However, he can help Zen to have the opportunity to be close with the one he had taken a liking. That is where MC will come in to fill in the empty space in this requirement. If he can’t be the one. Jumin can still afford to help Zen achieve his dreams even if he isn’t the main supporting role on the center stage next to Zen. This is Jumin's hopes and dreams; to be able to help his important close friends to achieve their own dreams. He will do whatever it takes to make their dreams come true with all the power he has in hand.

Even if it kills him a little more inside.


	12. Discordance.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm too lazy to pick a summary this time.  
> C8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you guys realize I've been plucking several plots from each routes.  
> And instead of a week, I'm taking a more realistic approach, stretching this into months.  
> Hope this is okay  
> Ah, more suspense.

His white fur Persian purred under his touched, her eyes squint with each stroke on her head making her tail flicked ever so slightly - demanding a little more pressured. Jumin kept his attention on the novel he is reading and his demanding princess in intervals, looking for signs if she is comfortable. Sensing the low tremble of purrs growing louder, Jumin continued to glide his palm across her lush fur and not minding the shedding on his hand or on his clothes. His maids will take care of this later and he’ll use the roller to rid it away.

“Elizabeth, your tail is in the way,” the giant fluffy tail swished side to side, covering the page Jumin was reading. She purred as she got up on her paws, walking up to Jumin’s chest and leans to bop her head against his. She mewled softly while nuzzling her wet nose to Jumin’s face, licking his lips. “Elizabeth,” he chuckled softly.”Thank you, Princess. I am fine,” he pats her head, scratching under her chin softly. “Like always, I need time for myself..,”He hummed, wondering if Elizabeth really do sense his emotions. She’ll always keep herself near him whenever he isn’t in a good mood. Her calm and tranquil behaviour resets Jumin’s mind off from negativity.. and to think that others claimed that he is obsessed with his cat. They don’t understand how good she is towards him. Well.. whatever. It’s not something important to let it bother him.

**Beep!**

Jumin turned his gaze away from Elizabeth and towards his phone that is all the way across the room. Living in his now quiet (a little too quiet) home, the sound caught his full attention towards his device that has it’s light blinking rapidly; indicating the rate of messages being pushed into his inbox. His phone had been going off from yesterday’s evening and had been dragged on; Jumin had checked his clock and found out it has been 12 hours. His screen is filled with pop up notification from all the missed calls, influx of e-mails and chatroom messages. Yet, he can’t be bothered to check on them. On other days, he will be attending to each and every inquiries minus phone calls unless if it is from the RFA members or his father. Today will be an exception. He knows what is going on and Jumin knows that he will have to devise a damage control plan with the RFA soon. Only for today, he decided to ignore everything. He isn’t in the mood to do anything after V had called him earlier.

“Am I doing the right thing, Elizabeth?” He mumbled, book forgotten as he is occupied by his feline companion. “But a promise is a promise.. right?… I should honor Jihyun his last wish,” She mewed at him, whatever it may mean, Jumin will assumed that she’s saying yes. ‘Have more faith in people’ Rika would said that and pressed on for Jumin to look at the positive side of life. 

Can he?

He was nurtured to think of the worst in order to achieve the best results. Reading body language may not be his forte, but he knows everyone has different intentions even if it is masked with a socially accepted behaviour. Everyone manipulates everyone for their own best interest. No matter what kind of relationships they may be; employers with employees, fathers with their sons, couples, and even bestfriends.

No one is saved. The only differences may be seen if those manipulation brings a better outcome in the future. …..Did he became a better person all these while with V and Rika? Or is he now falling into their footsteps? Turning crazy and detached from the rest of the world?

“I need to check my e-mails,” Jumin said to no one in particular. He needs to rid these unnecessary thoughts before it gets out of hand.

* * *

 

Zen had been avoiding the messenger most of the time and comes around in late nights or early mornings. Perhaps, in hopes to be able to catch up with MC who seems to be either sleeping late or waking up early in the morning. And maybe he is trying to avoid Jumin - he is still upset of the other’s behaviour and no way in hell he is going to approach Jumin first to initiate truce. Sure, Zen tends to overreact but it’s not fair that he has to be the one come crawling to the rich brat’s side to make them talk. The thoughts unconsciously had his cheeks puffed, brows knitted together. Urgh! Such nuisance! Zen has other things to do like exercising to keep in shape and reading his lines for the up coming audition.

Maybe he should try checking on MC and see if she’s doing fine…? He tap his phone, logging into the messenger -and BAM, his screen loaded two days worth of Seven’s impossible gibberish chats and jokes… and hold up. What is this sudden talk about a bomb? Was there a news of a bomb discovered somewhere? A terrorist attack?

**-Zen has entered the chat room-**

**Yoosung**  
-ZEN!!!!  
-ZEN HYUNG!!!  
-WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?

 **Zen**  
-What is this talk about a bomb?

 **Jaehee**  
-Hello, Zen.  
-Seven informed us that there is a bomb inside Rika’s apartment

 **Zen**  
-WHAT

 **MC**  
-Guys, I’m still here… you know?

 **Yoosung**  
-WE KNOW BUT A BOMB?!  
-WTF WAS V THINKING?

 **Zen**  
-Where is Seven?!  
-Oi, Seven! You better do something about this!

 **MC**  
-He has been working non-stop tracking the hacker and reset the bomb’s algorithm.

 **Jaehee**  
-I’ll inform Mr. Han about this.. If he is holding his phone.

 **Zen**  
-Impossible, he seemed to be consistently busy.

Zen scoffed but then again, Jaehee is his assistant and there might be a possibility he’ll answer her call rather than answering another’s.

 **Zen**  
-Did V contacted Seven atleast?

 **MC**  
-I’m not sure. Seven did said he had tried calling V a few times in a day. He may be out of coverage.

**-Seven has entered the room-**

**Seven**  
\- I’ve deactivated the bomb!!  
-This guy is relentless. I don’t know how they manage to hack through but I’ve set up a different sequence.  
\- I hope this will hold them off for now.  
\- And yes, I managed to contact V to inform him of our current condition.

 **Jaehee**  
\- I managed to get a hold of Mr. Han.  
\- He is deploying his securities to each and every one of us except for MC and Seven.  
\- I am so sorry MC, we do not know Rika’s address and until we get permission from V, we can’t do anything about it.

 **Zen**  
\- What do you mean permission?! We’re talking about MC’s life right now!

 **Seven**  
\- I am fully aware of that and are trying my best to check on MC.  
\- I’m keeping my eyes on the CCTV.  
\- As hopeless as it sounds, but this is as much as I can do.

 **MC**  
\- Guys, it’s cool. I’ve barricade the door.  
\- And yes, I have a week worth of supplies to get by.  
\- Like.. chill.. no rush.  
\- As long the bomb doesn’t goes off, I’ll be here guys.

 **Yoosung**  
\- I’m panicking so hard.. I don’t know what to say here…..

 **Seven**  
\- Go play LOLOL.  
\- I will notify everyone if there are any suspicious activities.

 **Jaehee**  
-I’m so sorry MC. I wish we could do more for you

Zen watched the chatroom went off from panic mode transitioning back to the common usual mode. It felt like the previous urgent situation had expired faster than it is suppose to be. How everyone is not calm and returning back to normal.. If Zen considers this normal.. He thinks he might be going crazy. He left the room after excusing himself out, grabbing his pack of cancer sticks and out to his balcony.

Really, what the fuck is going on? Why did Rika and V would do such a thing? What made them do this? How and When things suddenly transpired without anyone being acknowledged about this plan?! He never expected the kind and sweet Rika and the charismatic V would resort to such conclusion. Were RFA facing real danger to install a dangerous device inside a place others will call home? He could scarcely fathom the idea why anyone would plant a bomb inside a building…Does Jumin knows anything about this? He should, shouldn’t he? Zen is pretty _sure_ Jumin will be the one funding for the bomb. After all, he was one of the original RFA members.

Zen clicked his tongue, annoyed with all the doubts that’s eating away his trusts towards these people who claimed that they are doing good things to the society. Sure, V advocates for positive movements - working with the United Nations; according to his own words. Then there’s that rich brat who bragged off his work and his achievement, putting his word into the mouth of other’s and said it’s “for everyone’s best interest”. The actor is _sick_ with all of these rich people - assuming that they’re doing the right thing without consulting others about important matters. Like really? Can’t they have the courtesy to ask or talk things out? Why do they like to assume their _power_ and _integrity_ on the behalf of others? Fuck their holier than thou principles.

At this rate, Zen’s box of cigarette will finish in one go and he is currently too broke to buy another pack. Maybe he should go ride his bike or go out for a light jog at the park..... He should probably call MC while at it and check on her if she’s doing fine. He took out another cigarette from the box, tapping the butt against his palm as he casually scrolled through his contact list. He pressed on the Id and waits with the sound of the ring tone ringing in his ear while lighting up his cigarette.

“Yes..? Anything?” A low voice - obviously doesn’t belong to a woman’s - flat, boring, and very business like. 

Well.. Fuck. Zen checked his screen. He had called Jumin instead of MC. “Wow, didn’t think you’d pick up my call. How long has it been?” Zen’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“4 weeks,” Jumin replied.

“What..?”

“It has been 4 weeks or 28 days or 672 hours..,”

“Alright, I fucking get it,”

“Oh,”

A long pause between them until Zen sighed exasperatedly.

“Do you know anything about the bomb?”

“.…,”

“Jumin, answer me,”

“I have the right not to answer,”

“Fucking damn it, Jumin!! Is permission is more highly important than MC’s life?! We’re talking about a human life! There is a bomb in Rika’s apartment and at with the current rate where we’re constantly being hacked, I strongly believe that MC is not safe at all. What if the hacker comes to the apartment and do bad things?! You can’t even send securities to MC! Is V’s orders are far more important than a life that we can save right now?!” Zen couldn’t hold himself back. This stupidity has to end! “Do you hear me, Jumin?!

“I hear you,”

“Then do something about this! You’re the only one who V listens to!”

“...I..,”

"You know what.. Fuck this. I'm going to save MC myself,” Zen half shouted, his crimson eyes seeing red. "You can sit your fancy ass on your pretty little throne all day for all I care,"

"Zen, it is too dangerous," Zen swears Jumin is too calm for his own good. "Please don't do anything brash,"

"No, I'm heading to Seven's and get Rika's address. You can fuck off if you're not going to help," Zen dropped the call. 

* * *

 

"Zen, please -," Jumin find himself being cut off. He felt a small twitch in his chest from that - though not surprised that Zen would be angry... very angry. Jumin pinched the bridge of his nose, worried lines forming on his forehead, trying to understand where he did wrong. 

"This could wait," He told himself, dialing his head of security's number. He has to make sure that no one gets hurt while waiting for V to send him the very last message regarding MintEye. Things were not suppose to turn this way. Everyone shouldn't know what is going and no one is suppose to be hurt or had their life threatened. 

"It's me. Please inform your men to follow Hyun Ryu closely. Don't make your appearance visible. Shadow him and aid him if any threat arise," Jumin delivered his command. 

If he can't be there, he will do all he can to assist without Zen noticing. Zen doesn't have to. All he wants is Zen to be safe. 


	13. Confession.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who confessed?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost there guys!

“Zen, why are you sweating? Did you ran here?* Yoosung’s mouth gape open, surprised to find Zen in front of Seven’s hideout - kinda.

“Seven.. where is he?,” Zen asked in between his heavy panting. Thank you self for making an effort to run every night. “I.. need.. I need MC’s address!”

“Uhmm.. you know I can’t disclose without V’s permission…I’m really sorry but I’ve been monitoring her closely,”

“Luciel, we’re talking about a life! A human life! She’ll be kidnapped anytime right now if we delay any longer,” the silver white haired actor balled his fist, visibly angry how stupid everyone is right now.

“I know that more than anyone..,”

“So what if you know? You can’t protect her just by watching her through the screen. What if something really happens? What are you going to do? You’re not physically there to protect her!,” Zen desperately tried to reason with this man. “Luciel, you installed this bomb and someone hacked into the system twice. Do you not see how dangerous it is for MC? She isn’t suppose to be in this shit hole. She’s innocent.. and I’m pretty damn sure that she’s important to all of us,” Zen slowly tried to calm himself. Anger won’t bring him anywhere… He needs to reason with Seven to get the most important information; MC’s address. “Seven, if the bomb goes off… It is not just V’s or your responsibility, it is not only you who will carry the burder. All of the RFA will have to take responsibility.. and she is a victim out of our selfishness,”

“Seven…. Zen is right..,” Yoosung placed his hand on Seven’s shoulder. “This is out of V’s hands and MC’s life rely on us,”

Seven find himself placed in a spot, with two members pressing him on. “Argghghghhghhh!! I’m going crazy!,” He grabbed his hair and proceed to mess up his already messy red locks. “Alright! Damn it! Yoosung, take my seat and monitor MC. If there is any weird things or weird people, report to us. Call or text.. or anything,”

Seven grabbed onto his favourite black jacket and his orange headset, beckoned to Zen to follow him to his garage. “You’re not going to make it on foot. We’re taking my car,” The red head seems way too serious than what he perceived inside the chatroom. He isn’t complaining but this is the first time he is seeing Seven in this light. Upon entering the garage, he was greeted with seven beautiful cars. Seeing the collection first hand, Zen sorts of understand why people collect these babies. Hopping into the passenger’s seat, the actor made an extra note to strap on the seat belt and hopes for the best as Seven’s baby purred on the start up.

* * *

 

Frantic texts from Yoosung made Seven step on the gas pedal, the car zoomed down the highway. There was a suspicious looking person who hangs near the apartment. Could it be that it is the enemy? Zen responded promptly to Yoosung, telling him to reach out to V and Jumin. He doesn’t know if that will help but the others need to be notified to what is about to happen. Shit.

He clenched his fist, doubt over powers the trust and respect he has towards these two. Given with the lack of transparency within the association which leads to the life threatening situation involving an innocent, Zen has all the right to not trust anyone in the group. Everyone is hiding their secrets and manipulate the rest who are not in par of their status to follow through with the plans.

“We’re here,” Seven parked his car across an apartment. “Third floor. Let’s go,” The scrambled out and head to the third floor. Their heart are beating fast, thinking for the worst.“Shit,” Zen hissed when they found the front door slightly ajar, signs of forced break in on it’s lock. The two men looked at each other, blood drained from their faces. “Shit shit shit shit,” Zen hurried inside calling out for MC’s name. He cared less of the danger that is exposed to him for being too bold. “MC?!”

“Zenny?” an instant reply. “Zenny, over here!”

“MC!! Are you okay!?” Zen and Seven followed the sound of the noise that is coming from the kitchen.

They were fearing for the worst as they dashed and stopped dead on their tracks. They were in time to catch MC swiftly throwing the intruder down to the floor, tumbling together and caught him into an arm lock. “Oh hey, took you guys a while!” MC greeted them, keeping the intruder in a secure lock. Apparently it’s one of the Aikido moves that Zen did learned for one of his plays. Is there anything that MC couldn’t do?

“GET OFF ME, BITCH!,” the other screamed and trashed, trying his hardest to wiggle his way out. He screamed out when MC twisted his wrist, a wide grin painted on her rosy pink lips. “You should’ve accept my warning that I won’t go down easy,” She tsk at the man who seemed to look a little frail. His white hair with pink gradient at their ends just made him look sickly.

“I’ll take it from here,” Zen stepped over, roughly pulling the intruder up to his feet. Maybe they should interrogate this guy a little more before handing him over to Jumin’s man. He shoved the guy easily to the sofa, Seven blocking the exit towards the front door and Zen made sure he is not getting away easily. “Who are you and why are you targeting the RFA?” Zen tried his best to be intimidating.

The intruder snorted, a smug tugged on his lips, and leaned into the couch, completely relaxed. “You’d think this could intimidate me, Hyun Ryu?… and you… Luciel… heh… you actually used the name they had given to you instead of being proud the name you’re born with,” bold statements took them off guard. This strange man knows them too well to know Zen’s real name and Luciel’s born name. “Ah, I think you two should be more aware that I have a device that will activate the bomb without having to hack through the algorithm sequence. It is such a pity that I don’t have that traitor in this room too. It’s such a waste to use this…

“Who are you? How did you manage to break through my security codes and my system?!” Seven grew desperate. Zen know they’re all in imminent danger if none of them are able to subdue this stranger…? Hacker?…

“Why don’t we do a fair trade, Luciel… or should I say… Saeyoung?” The man hummed happily, his crazy green eyes leers over Seven. “You’ll always offer a good trade when you need more time.. Mary Vanderwood always get the brunt of your selfishness,”

Zen swears that he is probably the most normal person in the RFA next to MC and Yoosung. He never expected to be roped into a very bizarre incident - trying to subdue a mad man who is trying to blow everyone up with a bomb which was installed by the RFA members to begin with.

Seriously.  
What.  
The.  
Fuck.

* * *

 

 **Yoosung**  
\- Jaehee!!  
\- Jumin!!!  
\- Anyone!!!!

 **Jaehee**  
\- ?  
\- Yoosung? What is going on?  
Yoosung  
\- Hawkerr!! safsdb  
\- There’sdandintruder  
\- Q AQ  
\- KidnappedSeven  
\- Zenhotggurt

 **Jaehee**  
\- Yoosung, you’re having a lot of typos.  
\- but I understand.  
\- Mr. Han…? Are you reading this?

 **Jumin**  
\- I have been notified by my men. They’re escorting Mc and Zen to a nearby hospital and then to Zen’s place.

 **Yoosung**  
\- What about Seven????

 **Jumin**  
\- I believe Seven will think of a way to inform us his location once he is brought to their HQ.  
\- We will have to believe in him.

 **Jaehee**  
\- I will try to get in contact with the hospital and V. Please excuse me.

 **Jumin**  
\- Yoosung, please stay where you are at. I will send someone to bring you over to the C  & R building. I will have you escorted to a safer place. Please don’t forget to inform your mother where you are.

* * *

 

“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry too much about it,” Zen wiggled his fingers as the nurse bandaged his wounded hand. He got himself a deep cut on his palm when he deflect an attack aimed towards MC by that deranged intruder. “MC, you don’t have to cry,” He took her hand, lacing his fingers with hers in an attempt to ensure her that he is okay.

“You got hurt!,” MC actually looked cute being a little vulnerable like this, Zen couldn’t stop feeling a little happy that she cared of his well being. “And Seven was taken. It was my fault for acting so brash,” Thankfully the nurse had left to give them their privacy. Being the sweet gentleman himself, he let MC sat on the not so comfortable examination bed while he stood on his two feet. “MC, I’m here and breathing, am I not…?,” his palm found a comfortable curve of MC’s face, his thumb gently caressing her cheek, catching each tears that fell from her eyelids. “Have trust in Seven.. He may seem like an idiot… but he is a trained secret agent. I’m sure he will get in contact with us soon… So please.. Don’t cry..,” He stepped in closer to rest his forehead on top of her head, taking an extra care of his wounded hand to carefully cup the other side of MC’s face. The intimate proximity he is sharing with her is making him nervous - but this is not a time to be a coward! He is not going to let this opportunity go.

“Can… I kiss you?” he leaned closer, nose to nose. Zen noticed MC’s lashes are short and scarce in their natural form - that is how close they are right now.. and Zen doesn’t really care at all about her lashes. He finds her beautiful in and out. She is comical, she is kind, she is attentive, and most importantly, she accepts him who he is than what he is.

“What kind of a stupid question is that?” she lets out a short bubbly giggle and closed in the final gap between them, meeting their lips for their first kiss. The kiss felt magical and exhilarating, his senses heightened and he isn’t sure if his mind is playing tricks on him or if he is truly blessed by higher power above to cross roads with this woman that had came out of no where in his life. He should probably thank the hacker if he ever sees him again.

Their moment was cut short when the door creaked open, a pair of black eyes; gawking, mildly shock ed to stumble on an intimate moment between Zen and MC. “Oh… pardon me,” Jumin excused himself, closing the door shut to leave the pair alone.

His hand was still on the doorknob, the other palm idly placed upon the surface of the door. Jumin finds himself dumbfounded. He couldn’t understand why his body is reacting in a very peculiar way. He swears that his heart had stopped for a moment before regaining back it’s life and is moving in a very excruciatingly slow suffocating pace. He shook his head - that same low buzz is filling up his ears, blocking his senses from his surroundings. He needs to move.

_Move, god damn it._

“Move,” he mumbled and removing himself from the door. He took the moment to count backwards, manipulating his train of thoughts to align back to norm. He has orders to give, people to protect, and a business to run. He can’t let whatever unnecessary emotions to get in the way. “Station yourself here until they leave the room. Make sure you’re following them around until further instructions,” He turned to his Head of Security. “And thank you for all of your hard work. I will award you handsomely for all of your service,” Jumin marched away down the hallway, leaving with his remaining securities..


	14. Refusal.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Because you always stressed out when Jumin is in the picture. You two are like cats and dogs,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reading through the past chapters.  
> and i find that I've mentioned about the bomb once.  
> I'll have to rewrite and make the story a bit more logical!
> 
> My brain is dead each time i try to write. hahaha but I won't give up! Enjoy guys!

”Good Morning Ms. Kang!,” Jaehee nodded her head with a tired smile, acknowledging her co-workers who had came as early as her into the office. It is 7:30 in the morning, a usual Monday morning with the usual Monday crowd getting into the company’s lift to get to their designated floor. Almost everyone is holding a Starbucks paper cup filled up with their personal coffee and Jaehee is no different too. She has own filled up in her prized Starbucks tumbler and a croissant to go together for her light breakfast. Nothing much and it’s the same old cycle, the same old schedule that she has been following ever since she had started working here.

The sound of a soft ring and a computed voice notifying Jaehee had reached her floor brings her almost zombie-like state back to life. She must be in her very best behaviour and as a Chief Assistant, she must be an example to be followed by others. It is not easy to work in a very huge company and manage multiple departments plus a very peculiar boss (Jumin has the tendency to pull in new projects which almost brings no benefit to the company… and of course, not everyone is happy about this). Her inner self is currently bracing herself to be greeted with a pile of paper that she had left over the weekend.. and… wait.. where are they?

_God, I did not sign up for this…_

She let out a sigh and try her very best to maintain a poker face. Frowning will make her look older and that is very bad. She has to maintain her youthful looks no matter what! Ahem.. Now, where was she…? Ah yes, where are those damned paper works? It was on her table before she left last Saturday and.. why are there several files missing from her desk…? Her eyes narrowed, suspicion grew in her heart, darting her gaze around the still empty office. Is someone in here are attempting to sabotage her career? She needs to raise this to Jumin immediately. The files are important projects and some are related to the RFA!

“Ms. Kang, Good morning” A tall and burly man entered the office, greeting her with proper formalities and his head bowed. It must be one of Jumin’s men for him to be inside the office this early. There is no way anyone else can enter through here without a pincode or a special pass that only a few including Jumin and her have. 

“Good Morning, is there anything I can help you with?”

“Mr. Han instructed me to inform you that he had taken some files from your table. He is afraid that he might forget to inform you. He also notified that no one except you are allowed to enter his office for today,”

“Noted, Thank you,” She nodded and bowed her head, watching the big man walked towards the direction of Mr. Han’s office, stationing himself next to the door. Jumin really do mean it that he doesn’t want any visitors today.

Jaehee carefully placed her drink down on her table - a little lost on what she has to do today. Maybe she will look into the projects that she had delegated to each department and do a quick follow up...? What else can she do while Jumin had removed her workload - and god knows what that man is doing to it. No, don’t get it wrong, she knows Jumin will handle those paperwork perfectly fine. In fact, he will do it better and in perfect detail to how it should come through. She isn’t worried at all about that. Well, she might be a little worried because that means Jumin is unhappy… and if he can’t feel better after done with those work, a tsunami of projects will wash in and Jaehee won’t be able to handle it if it will be cat related. (They are now doing 2 huge projects related to cats. Jaehee can’t stand it anymore!) She knows Jumin’s behaviour well enough to now where this is going.

“I should make him coffee,” Jaehee dragged herself out of her chair to the nearby private pantry (which is meant for Jumin but he rarely comes out from his office) took out a small pot and a mug. He’ll probably would like straight black, she popped open a ready to use coffee drip, pouring in hot water into the said filter, letting it take it’s time to infuse and drip into the pot. She placed a couple sachets of sugar and creamer just in case, placing them all into a tray. Easily, she carried the tray over to Jumin’s office, the security helped to hold the door open for her. Her suspicion was answered, to find her director in his favourite chair, arms crossed to keep his posture and his chin tucked close to his chest. His table has stacks upon stacks of paper work (did he took the files from the other assistants too?). Quietly, she approached his table and sets the pot and mug on a smaller table next to his working table. She should let him catch up with his sleep. He has probably not had any rest or had the usual short ten minutes nap to handle this kind of work load.

Working with this man closely for over two years, Jaehee had learned his working habits and patterns. Jumin comes in early into the office (earlier than anyone) and will be the last to leave through her observation during the company’s peak time or when the CEO, Mr. Han’s father brought in a huge project into the company in such a short notice. She felt a little embarrassed when the RFA members praised her for being a hardworking employee when she is nothing compared to Jumin. He always takes care of everyone’s best interest in his company, giving easy and fun side projects than forcing difficult ones that is not profitable to the company. All those cat projects? Jumin doesn’t really mind if there are minor mistakes as long as the cat advocates gets a little press time to spread the awareness anything about cats. Everyone had fun (except for Jaehee when she had to chase after deadlines).

“Assistant Kang, would you like a holiday? You’ve been standing there for too long,” Jumin’s low silky voice surprised her.

Jaehee moved from the said table, bowing her head once before raising her gaze to Jumin. He looked slightly disheveled, bed hair sticking out, his tie crooked, and his shirt showed crumpled lines that he had been sleeping. She noticed the tired look in his eyes and the deepening lines on his face. He really looks tired and could probably use a proper rest soon. “Assistant Kang..?” Jaehee’s brain scrambled, she must’ve zoned out in front of him and was caught staring.

“Oh… I apologise. I brought coffee,” she bowed her head, hoping he won’t mind her behaviour. She could blame the early morning if he pops the question.

“Thank you.. and the offer still stands if you want a holiday,”

* * *

 

 **Jaehee**  
\- Jumin is giving me a holiday.  
\- I am conflicted.. but he is giving me a few weeks off.  
\- But the party is soon.. So I guess I’ll go for Jeju Island or something.

 **Yoosung**  
\- Why is it weird?! You should be celebrating!

 **Jaehee**  
\- We’re still waiting for Seven, remember? I don’t feel like I can have a good rest when we have yet until Seven gets back to us. It has been two days.

 **Zen**  
\- I’m worried about him too… But we have to have faith in him. He did said, if he doesn’t.. well.. contact us on the third day….

 **MC**  
-Zen, let’s still hope for the best.

 **Jaehee**  
-How’s your hand, Zen?

 **Zen**  
\- I’m recovering like a monster! You don’t have to worry. MC is here to make sure I’m doing okay too.  
\- Though, I wonder where is V at? Did anyone managed to get a hold of him?

 **Jaehee**  
\- Neither me nor Mr. Han is able to get through him. V is probably somewhere without service.

**Jumin has entered the chatroom**

**Jumin**  
-Jaehee. I thought I will find you here.  
\- I need you in my office now.

 **Zen**  
\- ??  
\- What’s with that attitude, Jumin?  
\- You could’ve just call her line. She’s still in the office, right?

 **Jumin**  
\- The messenger is easier and it’s within my hand’s reach.  
\- It is convenient.

 **Zen**  
\- but still, Jumin. It is unprofessional and rude of you as a boss.  
\- It makes Jaehee look bad.

 **Jaehee**  
\- Zen, it is alright  
\- I’m on my way, Mr. Han.

 **Jumin**  
\- I don’t see her complaining about it… So, I don’t see anything wrong?  
\- And I don’t wish her to see me like a superior. She could tell me straight if she doesn’t like it.  
\- Anyhow, Jaehee. Please bring along the document that I had asked earlier today.  
\- And don’t forget to send me the dates that you wish to have off.

**Jumin has left the chatroom.**

**Zen**  
\- Jaehee, how do you even manage to stay with him?  
\- I barely could whenever he speaks.

 **Jaehee**  
\- Zen, it is fine.  
\- It is not the first time he did this and I’m used to this.  
\- I’ll be off! I will keep everyone updated if we manage to get in contact with V.

 **MC**  
\- Hang in there, Jaehee!

* * *

 

Zen threw his device on the sofa. He doesn’t get why Jaehee is being treated in such a way. He believes women should be given all the respect and care; especially to Jaehee whom had worked herself down to the bone. He recalled an incident of Jaehee passing out during one of the events C & R had held last two years. It was a hectic term with projects after projects came piling in plus Jumin was acting strange; like he is now, pulling in more work pile on Jaehee’s corner (Zen can only assume because that’s what most horrible bosses would do. Throw in more work to the poor overworked workers).

His eye-twitched at the thought of Jumin being a child. Sure, they had one of those bantering and none of them are willing to stand down. Jumin being Jumin, he would pull a tantrum which could be a little too immature for a director. Once, he had witnessed Jumin dragged an innocent bystander; one of the chef that came by to cook for dinner - demanding ridiculous orders. Though it is do-able but it was too short notice for the chef to prepare. Zen swears that the chef is lucky because he was there to intervene and schooled Jumin about Respect. Zen rolled his eyes, knowing very well that Jumin doesn’t work well when someone stepped into his authority zone. They had another round of banters after the chef left and another one the next day when Zen found out he had given Jaehee triple the workload.To conclude, Jumin is a brat who needs someone to tell Jumin off that he is wrong.

“What’s wrong?” MC came through the room, wrapping her arms around Zen’s frame. “Is this about Jaehee being overworked?”

“How do you know?” Zen hooked his well-toned arms around her shoulders, kissing the top of her crown.

“Because you always stressed out when Jumin is in the picture. You two are like cats and dogs,”

“I don’t like how he treats Jaehee. I mean, yeah, he is her boss.. but she still a friend,”

“Really? It’s not something to be stressed about. And I’m pretty sure Jaehee is very capable to take care of herself. She won’t be working for him this long if she doesn’t want to. Honestly, I think you have far deeper conflict regarding Jumin…,” MC reasoned with Zen. “I mean, you guys were sort of close friends before this.. Jumin talks highly of you. He really adores you and sees that you will be able to reach greater things. He even sent me to your place when you were feeling down last month, remember?,”

“Maybe…,” Zen groaned, agreeing with MC. Jumin sort of helped the two of them to finally see each other. He just ignored the man’s good qualities when he is so caught up with his rude behaviour. He should just admit he had been giving excuses to let himself to accept Jumin as who he is.

“Give him a call?”

“No. He is just going to hang up on me … and I’ve already done my part. I’m not going to apologise again,” Zen pouted. He wants to be the brat this time! No way he is going to allow himself to talk to Jumin first!

* * *

**V has entered entered the room**

**V**  
-33.423688 N, 126.555119 E  
-S. O. S


	15. Obliteration.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nightmares kept him awake.  
> but what if the nightmares are reality?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This round is a little rush. I'm horrible when it comes to action!
> 
> I'll compensate on the next chapter!

”Everyone, we have to conclude the meeting earlier than expected. Please submit your reports to Assistant Kang and I will go through it personally. Assistant Kang, please meet me in my office. Assistant Kim, please see everyone off and send me the meeting minutes to my email latest this evening,” He left the room promptly after speaking. He moved briskly to his office, hitting the speed dial on his phone. “Send out the special force for a rescue mission to this location. Retrieve Luciel and V. Arrest whoever you see and bring them in. This is an emergency. Dispatch your top 20 men with the company’s helicopters,”

“Mr. Han, we have received approval from the Aviation Admission to fly,” Jaehee entered the office, her fingers swiping across the screen to reply to all the incoming e-mails and text from different bodies as she stride over to Jumin’s table, placing the faxed approval form from the said organization. “Are you heading there as well? Should I notify the remaining RFA members?”

“.…Delay the notification until I am back in the office. Let’s keep the distress level at most minimum. In any case, I will be the one giving updates if anything important issue arise. I would also like to request you to follow up with the departments… and if my father asked for me, please inform him that I am away for a personal meeting with an old friend,” the corporate heir filled in his assistant with instructions and to do task for today during his absence while he multitasked to put on his bulletproof vest, hiding it under his tailor-made vest and blazer, fixed his tie to it’s correct position. “Please take care of the company and the RFA members while I am away. If anything ever happens, my important document will be inside my third drawer, next to my reading shelf. Send those documents to my lawyer,”

“Yes, Mr. Han. Please, stay safe,” Jaehee answered to his instructions, writing it on her clipboard and made a mental note in a code that she herself could read.

“Jaehee?”

“...? uh.. yes, Mr. Han?”

“At times like this, you can address me as Jumin… and go back home if I don’t return by 7,” he gave a final fix on his jacket, checking his appearance one more time in the mirror. Then he left escorted by a group of his best men.

* * *

 

“Luciel, it’s been _two hours_ and no one came to our rescue. Are you _sure_ anyone sees the S.O.S we had sent?” Vanderwood whispered to Seven as the ceremony master had the whole room’s attention towards her.

“Shut up and cut my rope,” Seven nudge Vanderwood with his shoulder. Being pessimistic isn’t going to get them anywhere.. and if there is no one coming to rescue them, he will get them all out from here, by hook or by crook.

“How do you even get yourself associated with these crazy folks in the first place?,”

“Vanderwood, shut the fuck up. I’ll answer your questions later,” Seven gritted his teeth, his golden yellow eyes glaring daggers at the man with mint coloured hair man before him. Hell, he has a lot of burning questions to ask this V - blind or not. He isn’t going to let this man get away for lying to him about Rika.. and most importantly his brother.

“Tsk, fine. If it’s not because you got me into this shit hole, you’re probably dead in my hands. The boss had ordered to assassinate you in the first place,”

* * *

The flight was too agonizingly long even if it had cut short the journey by one quarter shorter compared to land transportation. It felt horribly long with the knowledge that Jihyun’s life is on the line. Of course he cares of Luciel’s life too… but receiving an S. O. S from V’s handle name in the chatroom - he doesn’t know how to describe it.. but he felt a tremendous amount of fear running through his thoughts and he is not ready to face what he deemed a nightmare.

“Sir, we are here,” one of the men announced through the radio, the same time Jumin spotted a building with bright green domes down below, hidden within the trees. He nodded and gave a thumbs up to his men, waited for the helicopter to descend low enough for all of them to get off - probably on the roof top.

“I would like to be notified if they found either V or Luciel,”

“Noted, sir. Right now, we will have to station here. One of my men informed me that there is a ceremony taking place in the main hall. We can assume V and Luciel is there,”

“Agent 76 to Red Leader! We have infiltrate the enemy’s base and mission affirmative. V and L is in the main hall-,”

Bang!

Bang!

Bang!

Gun shots rang loud and clear through Jumin’s ears, cracking the speaker’s noise. Alarm went off in Jumin’s head as he listens on every each conversation through the walkie talkie given by Red Leader.

“Man down! Man down! I repeat! Man down!,”

“Red Leader, code red. This is an emergency,” came in another voice.

“Affirmative, 76. We’re getting our flight ready for the injured.,”

* * *

 

“Milady, I have returned with bountiful harvest of the special goldfish buns!” Zen dropped a bag of said buns on MC’s lap, grinning proudly for being able to catch his favourite goldfish bun seller upon returning home.

“Oh, my knight! How did you know? “ MC accepts the bun graciously, batting her eyelashes with a hand upon her bosom. She is trying her best to act as dramatic as she can. “How can I reward you, my dear knight?”

“A kiss will do, Milady. For I am your lowly knight, here to serve you with my life,”

“Pffttt,” MC breaks character too soon. Zen knows she can’t handle sappy lines. “Get up from your knees, Zenny and join me on the couch,”

“Rawr, coming through~!” He hop to join her, encircling his arms around her waist and pulled her up to his chest, big spooning his “little teaspoon” (He’d call her when they get comfortable in each other’s arms). “This is best eaten while hot,” He pop one of the fish bread out and let’s his teaspoon take the first bite - and she did from the belly. “Woman, stop being a Seven!” He laughed, taking a huge bite off the head.

“But isn’t it a little fascinating to see the red bean paste as guts and blood?”

_Blood._

_Too much blood._

He could feel the bodily liquid seeping through V’s black t-shirt, his trembling hand now painted in red with V’s blood. There’s too much blood… He needs to stop this before it gets way too out of hand. The same buzzing sound is there again, this time louder than it was before and it is taking over his mind. The white noise ringing in his ears blocked out his surroundings except of his focus on V.

He has to stop the bleeding.

He needs to stop the bleeding.

He won’t have it if he can’t save his best friend’s life.

Why isn’t it stopping?…

….

It must be a nightmare - one of those nights when he could sleep but are haunted by these ugly dreams. He must have went over the ten minutes mark to see these vivid images, to smell and taste blood in the air that he is having a hard time to breathe in, and the feeling of Jihyun’s body growing weaker and weaker under his hand. He reasoned that he must’ve been too stressed at work and had spent less time with Elizabeth 3rd to had this kind of nightmare. His brain is obviously guilt tripping him for ignoring it's needs. 

This is where he will usually wakes up and realized that it is just a cruel dream. Cruel dreams that had kept him awake. Cruel dreams that had kept him from wanting to fall asleep at all. It is an uncontrollable fear and he couldn't sleep well unless he could have a sleeping partner to guard and ward him off from his own fears. 

“Ju.. min..,” Jihyun’s chest heaved a bloody cough and Jumin swears that he needs to wake up from this horrible dream.

“Jihyun, don’t,” He tried to find the right words -what words? He can’t think of one. He doesn’t know what he could say when Jihyun is dying. Where the hell is the medic team? “Please, don’t..,” he begged. Begged for hope. Begged for a second chance. Begged for a miracle to happen.

 

_Please, don’t leave me like this._

 

A weak grip around his wrist startled Jumin out from his trail of thoughts. He shot his eyes at the source of contact and to find Jihyun holding on to him, his blind eyes staring aimlessly above him. “Jumin..,” his grip tightened a little, is he trying to affirm if Jumin is next to him?

“Yes, Jihyun... I’m here.. Please hang on a little longer. Help is on the way,”

“No,” a quiet reply.

No..?

“R-rika… you must save Rika…,” Jihyun begged with his remaining energy. Jumin noticed those once lovely green eyes of his are growing dull.. He could feel Jihyun’s life is slipping away through his fingertip as he helplessly observed his dying friend. “Please…,” V plead on his last breath, knowing that Jumin couldn’t refuse his whimsical wishes.

“.…Jihyun..?” Jumin felt a hitch in his breathe. He felt sicken to sense the grip slacken from his wrist, Jihyun’s lifeless fingers uncurled and lay motionless next to his hands that were still pressing down on his open wound.

He needs to wake up.


	16. Hurt. Hate.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felt oh so good for the long rant after being oh so patient with that trust fund kid.

_It is a dream, right?_

Jumin held tightly on Jihyun’s favourite cardigan, his hands are still shaking violently. It has to be a dream... His hands are still bloody.. but they’re not staining the grey jacket.. well not with his hand prints.. So, it has to be a dream. Funny, how they’re still bloody… He had washed them thoroughly for the past hour - his hand wash will go to waste if the blood stain stays on his skin. It has to be a dream if it is this illogical, right?

Is he ever going to wake up? The dream world does seem longer when he thinks about it. He had read somewhere that one can get stuck in a limbo of dreams, prolonging the sense of time when in the actual world it has only been 5 minutes. Is he stuck in that limbo? 10 minutes can’t be that awfully long.. _right_?

 _Right…_?

He should try calling MC… but Hyun will be uncomfortable if he knows… then, maybe he should call Hyun. Hyun tell good stories.. and his voice calms him… Maybe he needs to calm himself in this dream world.. and the real him will wake up. It’s possible right? There’s no harm in trying. He fished for his cellphone, scrolling through the contact list for Hyun Ryu’s name. (He writes Zen’s real name in his contacts because.. well.. Zen’s real name is very beautiful). He placed the phone to his ear, anxiety kicking in.

What if Hyun doesn’t pick up?

He panicked. Isn’t he suppose to keep his distance from Hyun? Hyun is happy now and his future is starting to take shape with MC. He shouldn’t be doing this, it’s going to mess up with the plan he had map out for Hyun’s success. He even had talked it out with MC about the plans (under the pretense he wants to help her to help Zen). This isn’t like him.. and his chest hurts.. It felt like someone is squeezing his heart and lungs - and he is short of breathe..

“.….Jumin? You there? Look, I don’t have time if this is one of your weird elaborated pranks. I hav-,”

“Hyun?” he caught his breath, Hyun’s melodious voice reeled him back into present time. Should he tell what’s happening? Should he tell Hyun that he is experiencing a dream… or in a dream right now? …He needs validation.. and Hyun has always been his best confidant to get his feet to reality. No matter how scared he is to explore his own emotions, Hyun has always been there to coach him thoroughly one at a time.

“Yes, what is it?”

“I…. don’t have a reason why I had called…,” He didn’t know why he had to tell a white lie. Why does he need to have a sense of protection towards RFA. Hyun should know the truth. He is mature enough to handle the situation… but.. can he himself handle that ounce of truth..? This is just a dream…He could just tell Hyun that Jihyun had..

“ Can you tell me a story?”

* * *

 

Recovering in two days and up on his feet for the rehearsal kept him busy and active. MC’s presence at his home pushed him to work harder to score the role he has his eyes on; a third born Royal Prince who was hidden from the eyes of the kingdom but rise to win the throne and the hearts of his people. Such a tragic story but hardwork and justice always wins. Zen grinned ear to ear, this role is as good as his on that day!

Throwing himself on the couch after long hours of practice, MC came into the room with a bottle of water and a box of vegetarian pizza; at least it’s a healthier choice than other pizza. “Had a good practice?” her cheerful voice magically raise up his energy and confidence level. Whatever magic she had placed on him, it’ll always leave him with a positive impact. He must’ve been the luckiest man ever to have such a cheerful, supportive, and level headed princess. Guh, did he just said Princess? Yes, he did.

“Zenny, you’ve been staring and grinning at me like an idiot,” MC nudged his side with her elbow, her blushing cheeks evidently made him felt excited that he has that kind of effect on her. Ahhhh, what a beautiful life~!! How can he be so lucky to come across such a beautiful lady in this lifetime? Whatever higher power up there that had helped him to made this happen, he is seriously grateful to have the opportunity to live a life with a wonderful partner. Even if he isn’t living a luxurious life, this is enough to make him push forward. Then he will be able to show his brother that he can make a living out of his talent and rub it into Jumin’s face that he can do it without his “pity” funds.

Speaking of Jumin.

That ass has not been around the chatroom ever since the two of them bickered about him treating Jaehee badly. He also wondered if Jumin actually sees that S.O.S message sent by V. He is worried about V and Luciel’s well being. Are they safe? Jaehee has yet to update them anything… Hmm Maybe they’ve deployed some special teams (Zen has no idea really, but what are the possibilities when you’re an heir to one of the biggest corporate company in Korea). …Jumin is probably coping fine, it’s not like he’ll be on the field for the rescue mission (if he did sent out one).

“Huhhhh, whatever,” Zen mumbled to himself, shaking his head.

“Hmm??” MC tilted her head. “Something in your pretty mind, Zenny?”

“It’s nothing. I was thinking of approaching some lines in a different way,”

Still though, Jumin could be a little nicer towards Jaehee and MC whenever he talks about work or the charity dinner. Unless… Unless Jumin is/was jealous of how Zen speaks towards the girls? Is Jumin Han ever jealous?…. It may sound absurd but… eh he did act weird back then when the topic about MC arise. That rich asshole will ignore and pick up unnecessary fights with Zen for days. Sometimes Zen thinks that Jumin was only using him to replace V… It’s not that he is against homosexual relationships.. but it sort of hurts to be a rebound if that is the case… (no he isn’t interested to be in a relationship with another man but still, he has pride as a human being)….but he doubts Jumin and V are ever in that kind of relationship. Heck, everyone knows V was going to marry the late Rika. Eh, whatever… He isn’t going to reach out to Jumin until the other reach out to him first.

Speaking of the devil.

His favourite musical score was blasting from his cellphone and Jumin’s caller Id were flashing on his screen. “Let me get this,” Zen reached for his phone, up on his feet, and out to the balcony. Out of habit, he’ll answer Jumin’s calls privately for the sake of his own sanity. He is hoping this is not going to be those awkward request calls…

“Yes, Jumin?”

There were no answers but soft short takes of breaths indicating that there is someone there at the end of the line. Is it a prank? Or Jumin’s phone had accidentally dialed his number? Impossible if he could hear someone’s breathing on his receiver.

“Hello..? Jumin? You there? Look, I don’t have time if this is one of your weird elaborated pranks. I hav-,”

“Hyun..?”

“Yes, what is it?”

“I…. don’t have a reason why I had called…,” a long pause. Zen anticipated that it might be an apology given that he had allowed Jumin to take his own time to reflect on his behaviour.

“ Can you tell me a story?”

That just blew a fuse in Zen’s head. Now, he wouldn’t mind at all if this was a different situation. He gritted his teeth, trying his best not to raise his voice when there is a lady in his house. “Look, Jumin. I’ve been patient with you and I understand that you’re going through a hard time. I know that S.O.S text from V is messing with your head and you can’t have your rest… blah blah blah you feel like you’re living in nightmares..blah your boo hoo stories… Whatever, the point is.. I am through with your rude behaviour. Sure, you’re only being honest.. but you just don’t take consideration of others,”

Zen paused, taking one deep breath. “Well, let me be honest too... I’m done being your emotional anchor for your neurotic psycho ass. So.. no, I’m not going to tell you a story. Why don’t you latch on to V when he comes back? Don’t pretend you didn’t think of him when I fucked you anyways,” Zen sneered and ended the call. He doesn’t have the time and energy to spare for rude beings.

Felt oh so good for the long rant after being oh so patient with that trust fund kid.

* * *

.

..

...

....Lost.

Like a boat left drifted to the middle of the open ocean and continuously enduring the heavy huge waves with no signs of directions to lead him back home.

His _sun_.. his sole direction is gone, never to rise again to his horizon.

His shining bright star in the night sky has refused to keep him company.

Never had he felt such an intense fear coiling in his stomach and his heart. Never had he felt so utterly lost and helpless in his life. What is there for him to look forward to...? There will be no cheerful hellos and surprise visits from V for him to look forward to. No interesting stories to keep his own motivation to see the world beyond the grey walls of his office to listen to.. He has no confidant to turn for support, no familiar hands to catch his reach when he is too deep in his poisonous thoughts.

He has no one to save him from himself. No one to save him from this pitch black darkness. 

The darkness that he had tried to ward away to the corner had came on full force. It had awaited for an opportunity to come by. Like a rush of storm, the devilry blanketed his form, his mind, his eyes, and it is comforting his already broken soul, mending it in it’s own twisted way. Thread by thread, sewing his chest shut, warding off any kinds of lights to come through. Maybe he didn't need one. Maybe he didn't need anyone when the evil seeds were planted in his conscious. It grew and nurtured well with his environment and his personality.. Perhaps, he is made for it... perhaps..he is and always meant to be part of this darkness.. His soul and his mind are always filthy to begin with.. All the horrible things he can do with these money and power he has.. He could kill... he could destroy.. He could hurt those who had wrong him.. Money is everything.. He can own anything. He can force his bright star to come out and play, keep it in his personal jar and stay in his sight.. If he had done it to his Sun, things won't turn out this way... things.. would've been better.. happier.. a perfect life.

No.

No, he shouldn't opt for that. He must not give in easily to these thoughts.. This is not like him. 

Zen is right. He is a neurotic psycho. He needs to set the scores straight and make things right again. For V, for Zen, and for those he had wronged. 

He picked up his cellphone again, pressed a familiar sequence of numbers and waited. He waited until the familar voice of his father rang in his ears. Skipping the hellos and how are yous, he shot straight to the topic.

“Father, I accept the arrangements,”

If Jumin is living in a nightmare.. then let it continue until it runs out it’s course.

If Jumin is living in a nightmare, he surrenders completely to Hurt and succumbs to Hate.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If ya'll didn't get on Jumin's perspective about the blood
> 
> It's like those traumatic events where some people keep seeing blood on their hands but in reality there is none. Yes, I'm horrible. Yes, I'll be taking your hearts. No, I'm not going to fix this angst.


	17. Anger.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Humans..love, hate, kill.. and then love again..the pioneers..,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guyssss~  
> I promise it isn't heartwrenching like every other chapter. kays? 
> 
> Well, i hope it isn't.

The news of V’s death didn’t register well for Zen when he sees a notification of a new chatroom with V’s funeral as it’s title. Setting his phone into silent mode, he stored it away into his pants’ back pocket and continued his evening stroll to pick up MC from the department store they had promised to meet. It’s suppose to be the day where they’re having their first shopping date for the charity party. Ugh, no - he should be more respectful towards V. As much as he is still bitter regarding the bomb issue plus the thought of being a replacement for that man, V isn’t to be blamed completely. He should call MC and inform her - if she isn’t online at the moment and figure out what they should do to prepare for the wake.

“Hey, babe. Did you get the news? Yeah, I figured you’ll be one of the first few after Jaehee… Ah.. yeah.. should we cancel and meet up with everyone? Yeah, I’ll pick you up… I guess we don’t have a choice but head over to C & R.. yeah. I’ll see you later,” he ended the call - a heavy sigh. It has to be at C & R… Can’t be helped when V is Jumin’s childhood friend. He’ll probably lead the wake ceremony and what nots…. “Ugh..,” Zen grabbed a fistful of his hair at the top of his crown. He felt like a huge jerk upon recalling the words he had threw at Jumin a week earlier. However, he isn’t to be blamed when Jumin had been keeping him in the dark when there are serious matter involved. It is not his fault for hurting that asshole who’s a complete neurotic. He doesn’t get why Jumin’s behaviour pressed on all of his buttons- driving him crazy with all these confusing, unnecessary anger.

“...why do I even care?!!?!?,” Zen threw his hands up to the air, fingers curled up, and he can’t help from groaning his words out loud - probably scaring the few pigeons nearby and a few people who’re walking nearby.

* * *

 

 **Zen**  
\- Jaehee, MC and I are running late. We’re riding a cab over and just got out from traffic.

 **Jaehee**  
\- Don’t worry about it. I’ve informed the receptionist and requested them to have the special pass for the private elevator. You only need to flash the RFA card to them and tell that you have an appointment with me.

 **Zen**  
-Thanks, Jaehee.  
\- By the way, is Jumin okay?

 **Jaehee**  
\- … I honestly can’t tell.  
\- but he seemed different… and he has been quiet.

 **Zen**  
\- Oh..  
\- I’ll see all of you then. Will update you when we’re there.

“...Do you think Jumin will be okay?,” MC asked quietly, her head leaned on Zen’s shoulder and her eyes focused on the scenery outside. “..He always put up his tough front and says he doesn’t get offended… but every tough exterior exist to protect their soft interior… I’m a little worried..,” MC toyed with the ends of Zen’s fingers, which Zen pulled to tangled with his, holding her firmly*.. Maybe. We’ll see what we can do to offer him help if he asks..?,” With a faint nod, the two of them remained in silence through out the journey.

* * *

 

“Mr. Han? Are you sure it’s alright to use this information?” Jaehee stood before Jumin’s table, flipping through the pages to re-read the details of the private files.

“It is best we resort to that report,” Jumin responded without raising his eyes to look at his own subordinate. His hand is busy running his pen through lines of the reports - checking for important errors.

“..but Mr. Han, the investigators and the psychiatrist had confirmed that Saeran had admitted that he did pulled the trigger on V. Won’t this raise suspicion if we forge his cause of death?,” Jaehee expressed her worries.

“I have done important paper works to make it seem so. I believe it is the best to tell them that V had committed suicide. We don’t need the police hounding after Rika, Luciel and his brother. Yoosung needs to focus on his education, and Zen…. Zen will probably catch up that this is a hoax,” Jumin placed the report into the “Out” tray and took another, placing it upon his deck. “Most importantly, we need to assist Rika for her recovery,”

“...Alright, noted Mr. Han,” Jaehee wrote down important details into her notebook. If this is what Mr. Han felt best for the RFA, she doesn’t mind following orders. Still, it bothered her a lot to see Mr. Han disregarding his own self. The morning after the search and rescue, Jumin came in to work that morning as usual and called her up to his room, informing her of V’s death with a deadpan expression. Although he didn’t show it, his lack of giving more orders showed that he is affected by V’s death. She too noticed that Mr. Han had started to don on a pair of white gloves. Did he hurt himself during the operation? She dare not to ask. Mr. Han rarely talks about himself (unless about achievements or random things he finds interesting; god forbid when it comes to cats.)

“Please keep this to yourself. I believe you can understand my decisions to do this. If the right time comes, I will take the responsibility to inform them personally,” Jumin finally raised his face to level his gaze with Jaehee’s. “And thank you, Assistant Kang,”

“… it’s part of my job Mr. Han. I’ll take my leave. The rest will arrive shortly.” Jaehee felt a little flustered to be praised by Jumin. She isn’t used to receive compliments directly from her boss this often.

“Ready the drivers. We’ll leave once the last party arrives”

The procession was quick as the number of guests were kept to a minimum number. Each members wished V’s parents their condolences, paying their last respects towards their departed friend - though with a minor but not so surprising event occur where Yoosung took off, sprinting down hill, unable to control his emotions nor could he accept the idea that V had left them in such abrupt manner. He had hated the mint-coloured hair man on the very first day he had lied to the RFA about Rika’s disappearance, hated V for being so rude to his own emotions, hated V for keeping him in the dark just because he is the youngest. Now his wishes granted and to realized V had been protecting all of them - Zen can understand why Yoosung is feeling conflicted.

“Let him be.. I can understand his feelings..a bit,” Zen told Seven, shaking his head. “He needs time on his own,”

“Humans..love, hate, kill.. and then love again..the pioneers..,” Zen had his attention to Jumin who finally said something.

“Don’t get all philosophical. I feel more complicated when it is coming from you,” he crossed his arms, defensive of his own complicated emotions that had been pooling in his chest ever since he received the news.

Should he apologise? Should he say something to Jumin once they get back?

He felt conflicted, unsure if he should even say anything to the corporate heir. Moreover, Zen could feel a strong detachment with the other man. A huge invisible wall had come between them and the connection they had build on are blocked off - though not completely. Zen couldn’t help but to feel like Jumin is purposely doing it to protect himself… that selfish bastard. It pissed Zen off to see Jumin taking the easy way out to avoid facing the conflict that the two of them are having with one another.

Fine. He’ll talk with this asshole once he sent MC back home.

* * *

“You’re staying back again, Mr. Han?” Jaehee frowned.

“Yes, I’ll finish off the remaining reports before I head back home,” Jumin walked past her, he doesn’t want to see those pity looks she’s giving.

“But Mr. Han..,”

“I will be fine Jaehee… You should get ready for your holiday. I will see you in two weeks time,” He gave her a nod then entered his office, shutting the door with a quiet soft click.

Jaehee sighed, shaking her head. She doesn’t know how to approach her boss with that current attitude of his. She wanted to help as a friend and hopes that he will able to regard that past of their professional relationship at work. Jumin needs to seek help or the least, talk to someone. From her point of view, Jumin is slowly changing into his own deceased friend - pulling himself apart with all the secrets he is keeping.

A soft knock on her own door startled her and she immediately straightened herself up. “Come in,” She informed with her working Assistant Kang’s voice, fixing her glasses. A familiar silver white hair peeked behind the door and that heart melting smile send her worries away in an instant. “Zen! Come in!” She smiled at her idol .

“Sorry, I had to come…,” He came through and placed a small paper bag containing the fish bread. “This is for disturbing you… I should’ve informed you that I’m coming over after the funeral. I’d think that he’ll be here too.. knowing his habit patterns,”

“...I’m honestly worried of him, Zen. He has been keeping a lot of things to himself. Never in my 3 years of working as his Assistant have I seen him this way,”

“You head home first. I’ll talk to him. And inform his guards and driver that I’ll take him home. I took my bike to come here,” He bowed his head to Jaehee, giving a light pat to her shoulder. “Go home and get rest,” then shuffled his long model-like legs over to Jumin’s office. He thought of knocking but for surprise sake, he turned the doorknob and entered unannounced - because he wanted to do that for a very long time - and locked the door behind him. This will probably be a long talk and he’d like to keep anyone from entering.

“...You didn’t book an appointment,” Zen already could feel his veins twitched hearing that voice alone.

“Yeah? Because I’d figured you’ll reject my appointments to begin with,” Zen had to bite his tongue from spewing more unnecessary words. He is trying not to start a banter with this man.

“..hmm…,” Jumin is ignoring him, Zen noticed as the other has yet to lift his gaze away from those paper on his desk. “I’m currently busy, Zen,”

“Bull-shit,” the actor huffed, inviting himself to sit on the office chair right across Jumin, rolling backwards to keep an ample amount of distance… They do need some physical distance - more like for Zen’s sake. He won’t know if he will actually punch Jumin in the face for his lack of proper tone in his voice and facial expression when he speaks to others.

“.…,” an annoyed sigh and those tired laden dark eyes were glaring at him. Oh? Is that really a challenge? Or is Zen reading in too much on this guy again?

“Look, Jumin.. I don’t want to pick a fight with you. Okay? You’re having a difficult time and I get it.. I know you too well that you’re not okay even if you’re trying to act like you’re okay,” Zen swallowed his pride, letting go of his ego as he attempted to reach out again to this man. This is for the sake of RFA and for the sake of V’s legacy. Zen would like everyone to still stay in the group through the good and bad, through thick and thin. “Jaehee and MC are worried.. Yoosung too.. You have to stop keeping secrets and let us help you out,”

“..I’m doing fine. ,” Jumin gathered the paper that is on his deck, putting it aside into the “Pending” tray. “I’m doing what I can to protect the RFA and the member’s well-being. I’m doing what V would do in this situation,”

“Quit playing victim, Jumin!” Zen slammed his hand on Jumin’s table, stood on his feet. He can’t - Zen hated how quick Jumin conclude things on his own. No one in the RFA will force anyone to correct the wrong, no one but Jumin Han himself. With an addition of his obsessive behavior, clinging on and still stubbornly attached to that dead man. V is already gone and Jumin needs to move forward. “V is already dead. Gone. Never to return! You need to stop clinging to your past. Stop obsessing about him, God fucking damn it!,”

The actor’s crimson iris blazed, anger seething through his breaths. He knows that he is impulsive and anger is his enemy when it is out of hands. He doesn’t like being angry but with a self-righteous, pompous, corporate heir included inside the picture, it boils his blood to tip of the point. He glared daggers at the other who had his lips slacken, probably taking his time to think of the right words - or probably running through his thought process - overthinking as usual.

“...Wasn’t it you who said that I should latch on to V upon his return..?”

“ Are you seriously pushing the fault to me?!”

“...I did not. I am simply stating the spoken truths,” Jumin leaned into his chair with his arms crossed, his tired eyes; evidently lacking sleep, challenged Zen’s glare. “I will as how you put it..”latch” onto V; to his memories, to his mind, to his body, and to his love he had graced me.. even though his heart is still for Rika at the very end,” he spoke in a resigned manner. “I had to give my thanks towards you for that… those nights, I won’t deny I did think of V-,”

The actor had probably lost count how many times he had endured his patience with Jumin, holding his fist from flying. This is probably one of those rare times he is going to get physical with this man - told himself the he will probably regret it later when he is at the right state of his mind. He is desperate to get Jumin back to reality (even if it is going to hurt both of them) and fucking stop messing with him. Admittedly, he is hurt to hear those confession directly to his face - anger build as rapidly as he had climbed over the table, grabbing Jumin by his fancy shirt’s collar.

“Don’t.. touch me,” he watch Jumin with amusement, seeing the older man tried to pry his himself free from the grip. Of course, Zen has the upper hand with his athletic build and strength. Jumin isn’t going no where.

“Why? Didn’t you said that you’ll latch on to V? Aren’t I his replacement?” Zen leans in dangerously close to Jumin’s face, his dark smirk sent chills down the young director’s spine. “Keep to your words, Jumin”

* * *

 The corporate heir flinched and groaned when he was shoved and backed up against his own desk, his head is spinning to have his head hit against the wall earlier. His lips are swollen and bleeding from the aggressive unwelcome kisses. He could taste the bitter iron in his mouth.

“Zen, stop this..,” he tried to straightened himself up but it was futile when the other man shoved him down to the desk, his head pinned down to the flat wooden surface. He understands where this is going.

“Stop? Stop?? Why should I?,” Jumin could feel Zen’s weigh pressing down on him, successfully locking him down. The warm breathe tickled on Jumin’s neck as he spoke, ghosting his lips up to his jaw. “You’re the one to talk when you pushed your decisions on me,” Zen blew into Jumin’s ear, knowing it’s one of his weaknesses- nibbling on the shell of his ear. “I’ll let you know how hurt it is to be pushed around,” his hands fumbled, pulling off the belts and undoing the buttons to Jumin’s slacks.

Jumin swallowed his words, pressing his lips into a thin line. This behaviour, this demeanor.. He didn’t expect Zen to reflect that part of mind and desires he himself had been trying to keep away… Did he instead of suppressing it had rubbed It on to the next person closest to him? Zen.. no Hyun Ryu isn’t like this. He doesn’t resort to violence and profanities. Hyun Ryu isn’t Jumin Han. He won’t think of heinous ways even if he is to hurt someone.

“Hyun, don’t do this!,” He struggled, trying to wedge his arms in between their bodies, attempted to free himself. “This is not you!,”

“Ji-hyun, you mean,” the actor gave snarky reply, a curt chuckle follows. He grabbed Jumin’s annoying arm by the wrist, twisted it and locked it to his back. He made a point to hurt Jumin, grinning wide when he saw the flinch as his nails dug into the skin of his wrist. In that window of opportunity, he had forcefully tugged off Jumin’s slacks, leaving the older man bar naked waist down. “Pitiful..,” he commented, straddled Jumin’s legs far apart with his knees.

Panic runs wild in Jumin’s head, amplified his senses to hear to the sound of fabric fumbling and it the soft unzipping sound of a zip. His eyes are wide in bewilderment, this isn’t suppose to happen. "Hyun!” panic finally seep into his voice, showing his core emotions.

“It’s Jihyun,” Jumin groaned in pain as Zen had yanked his arms, twisted his wrist in an impossible angle. “Say that one more time and I will really hurt you,”

“Don’t do this!,”

“Didn’t I told you that you’re no longer making decisions for me?” he placed his warm hand upon Jumin’s hip, hoisting him to a level with his own;. “There. Perfect,”

 _Pain_. Blinding white pain. Physical pain that he could never handle. He clawed on the surface of the desk, mouth gaped wide to scream but instead gasped in all the air. His body involuntarily arched and caved to each ministration. He felt a bruise is forming on his hip to have his hipbone banged against the table under him. He had tried to beg for Hyun to stop but was met with a slap to his face for not addressing him correctly. “What did I tell you?” Zen bellowed angrily, flipped Jumin on his back and strike another hard slap with the back of his hand.

“Fucking stubborn, aren’t you? It’s Jihyun..your beloved” Zen taunted, drove him deep inside Jumin. “Say it.. Say his name!” he grabbed Jumin by his jaw, forcing their eyes to meet. “Say it,” Zen didn’t know where this malicious energy is coming from. He didn’t know where he had pluck it from within him. It was too strong for him to refrain it and how it embodies in his blood, he loved the thrill to lash out all of these things to the person who had ignited it. If he can’t leave an important imprint in either Jumin’s heart or mind, he body is there to be mar imprinted with Zen’s own memories - be it on the surface or skin deep.

  
“..Hyun,” Jumin’s voice cracked, refused stubbornly.

“Have it your way,” Zen pressed his palm to Jumin’s mouth, muffling the sounds coming from the older man. At the back of his mind, his conscious are screaming in agony -telling him the possible outcomes once he leaves this room. All the possible arrests, the possible tabloids that will wash all his hardwork to be a well-known, respectful actor down the drain… but he could care less about it now.. He had enough of the games he was dragged into and this will be the last between them. He gritted his teeth, focusing on his own pleasure -his eyes closed to stop himself from giving pity to the man beneath him.

Hmm..? Zen peeked his eyes open when he felt a pair of hands holding his face, tenderly caressing his cheeks. Pitiful, as always.. Zen thinks, seeing the man beneath him in a disheveled, a complete mess. Bruises showing on his face from where he was hit. Did Jumin finally imagined V now? To suddenly embracing him like this? He didn’t know what had came to him but he felt… sad? Disappointed of himself. He shook off the thought. So be it. He had proved his point.

“Fuck” He groaned, rutting his hips as he ride his climax. He hissed more profane words under his short breaths, slumping his tired body on top of Jumin. Angry sex is tiring and he will take note not to ever do this.

“...heavy..,” Jumin mumbled, keeping his arms around the other regardless, clinging on to Zen. He didn’t want to let go.. not just yet. Zen noticed this but kept his peace, picking up the other man along as he sat on Jumin’s chair, embracing the owner in his arms. No words are needed to be exchanged at the moment.

Jumin hid his face into the crook of Zen’s neck, finally breaking the silence. “MC is a good woman. She deserves better,”

“...Why are you bringing her up in this……why are you pushing me away?” Zen snapped, annoyed but waits for Jumin’s reasonings.

“I have to.. look what you’ve become..,” He leaned to stole a chaste kiss “..We had been using each other..and I had dragged you further to my own path of demise… Those desires of yours tonight.. it rubbed off from my selfishness,” He tangled his fingers with Zen’s, carefully holding it to his chest. “I care a lot about you… and I did what I feel it was the best for you,”

“But what about my own feelings?!,” Zen grabbed Jumin by his shoulders “I loved you! I had loved you but you only had V in your head!”

“Both of us have break the contract then,” the young director said with a rare smile on his lips. “This...tonight.. will be the last time we are seeing each other like this.. Ryu,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise if the whole story is a mess. I lost my focus and I'm really horrible trying to explain actions and movements. ; w; I'm trying! I hope it is still okay.


	18. Closure.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think two more chapters and this will be done.  
> haappy reading!

“Let’s get you home,” the actor picked up his jacket from the sofa, fixing himself and made sure everything is in place.

“...you brought your bike over?” Jumin tilt his head aside, fixing his shirt’s and coat’s collar; he needs the lines to be aligned -he just has to, don’t ask.

“Yeap, and I remembered to bring an extra helmet.. knee pads and elbow pads.. and yes, I brought the safety vest,”

“For two?”

“I’m skipping the vest. It doesn’t look cool on me,” Uh-oh, here comes a full lecture from Mr. You-Have-To-Be-Prepared-All-The-Time. “Jumin, just.. shhhh,” Zen covers the other’s mouth with his hand. Yes, safety is important but he rather skip that out. That shit is uncomfortable to wear no matter how many times Jumin (soon MC) insisted.

“...can we head out somewhere else before you send me back home?” Jumin pulled the offending hand away and lets the topic slide.

“Where to?”

“.…..how bout the usual..?” He reached to ran his fingers down the low pony tail, watching it slides off gently -almost superficially identical to the effects he sees in a shampoo advertisement.

“..’kay,” Zen shrugged his shoulders. It felt a little awkward to see an affectionate Jumin. The actor couldn’t quite wrap the image around his head to think that he is capable of doing so. Not his fault to begin with when the older man keeps pushing him away or shuts himself completely. “Let me know if it’s too hard to walk~,” Zen shook off those thoughts. Tonight, this evening.. Zen would like to keep it fun and comfortable with the two of them. They don’t need another fight to pick up after being angry with each other.

“I can manage. Thank you for the offer,” Jumin laced his fingers with Zen’s, holding onto it briefly, and lets go as he walked past the younger man, heading towards the exit. “Are we leaving or what?”  
That child-like determination in Jumin’s eyes had Zen smiling ear to ear. It is always rare to see Ice Prince gets this energetic… and he missed it - missed the times before everything just went downhill for the two of them. Maybe he should have done something before things gets too complicated..? Things might have been different.. and-

“...Ryu.. If you’re going to stand there all night, I’ll gladly take your keys and drive myself over,”

“OH, HELL NO,” in the name of every gods in this world, _never let Jumin Han pilot anything in his life_.

* * *

 

“Loosen this. It’s too tight,” Jumin fumbled with the helmet he had put on. The straps are too loose and being the perfectionist that he is - it is _crucial_ that is tight enough to be safe and loose enough that he could breathe with ease.

“I’ve told you to wear your gloves _after_ you fixed the strap,” Zen rolled his eyes. Not the first time he has to handle this shit. He reached his hand under the helmet and loosen the strap just enough as according to the trust fund kid’s request. “Any more request, Sire?” He asked, throwing his keys up into the air, catching it. “Can we go now?”

“After you put on your helmet,”

“Tch, Fine,” Zen complied, grabbing the remaining safety helmet and secured it on. Being in biker gang half of his teenage life and up to his 20th birthday, wearing safety gear makes him felt less of a man. It is ingrained in his soul to live life dangerously whenever he rides his babe. “Happy?”

Jumin gave a thumbs up; a go signal for Zen to finally start his bike. He climbed over on the passenger’s after Zen, folding his arms and tried to balance himself upright when the bike moved. Everyone knows Jumin Han isn’t good with any balancing act. His photos are 99% blurry and he barely could keep his balance if he is asked to stand on one feet. Eventually, he gave up when the ride jerked him forward, arms instantly flew around Zen’s waist and he held onto the other for his dear life.

* * *

 

“We’re taking the car next time,” the corporate heir knelt to the ground upon reaching their destination, his feet are wobbly, blood drained from his face. He isn’t used to riding on bikes and the way how Zen cuts through the traffic, disregarding rules, and ran over a red (it was yellow; but Jumin Han thinks it’s better to stop than chase after it. For Fuck’s Sake - you only live once!) ..he rather face the traffic than had his life on the line.

“You’re fine and we’re alive, aren’t we?” Zen placed their helmets on the seat, taking off other accessories he had on and placed it on top of the helmet.

“I’d like to plan my funeral before I die,”

“Stop being so morbid!” Zen groaned loudly as he unlatched Jumin’s helmet and undoing the safety vest, putting them away on the bike’s seat.

“But-,” Zen silenced the protest with a kiss, stealing the words from the director’s lips. He pulled away with a cheeky grin and ushered the other man to join him close by the ledge. He leaned over on the metal railing - the only divider to stop them from falling down the edge while enjoying the beautiful view of the city with the stars scattered across the sky above. The weather is kind tonight. It’s warm enough to not to have to pull on a sweater and it’s perfect considering neither of them carried any. They gazed down to the lights below in a comfortable silence, edging close to each other to have their shoulders pressing together and their heads leaned against one another. (If Jumin has to put it into words, their current companionship is like a pair of cats enjoying a lazy afternoon, paws tucked under their bodies and eyes closed shut - comforted with the silence and the head bumps).

“...Ryu.. earlier..,”

“Hmm..?”a lazy response, but he is listening.

“...earlier.. you said that you loved me. When.. and how long?” Zen could feel the other fidget with his thumb rubbing in circles on Zen’s knuckle.

“.I don’t know how long… but probably the time we’ve gotten comfortable with each other. When I had realized it… to be honest… I didn’t want to admit it because you’re a jerk, pushing me off to another person,” a pout formed on his lips.

“Are you happy?”

“That’s a little too subjective to answer, don’t you think?” he raised a brow, not sure which direction this QnA is going.

“Are you happy with MC? You do love her, don’t you?” Jumin faced himself towards Zen, eyes searched for the others and hoped to receive the truth.

“.…Yes. I am happy with her and I do love her,” he nodded his head without a hitch in his answer.

“I’m glad, then,” Jumin diverted his gaze away and gave a light squeeze on the hand that he is holding. At least he had done one thing right.  
“Did you ever loved me too?” Zen’s turn to ask the same question, curious to know what the answer will be.

“...Does thoughts of wanting to keep you locked up in my house or a cage, or the times of when I prolonged your stay at my place on purpose.. or the time I had wished MC never came into the group counts as one?” Jumin asked with a straight face.

“Well, I suppose…?,” Zen cringed inwardly at the thought of being locked up in a cage. He is a free spirit and the idea of being caged..

“Then, yes. Yes, I do love you… but I know I must not do the things that I had in mind. Love.. it is a weird feeling.. I had to battle these contradicting thoughts and decide what is the best solution. To truly love someone.. it’s difficult. One side of me wanted to own you and keep you to myself. The other reasoned that to love someone is to let them free and grow,”

“..you could’ve told me so..,” Zen frowned. They won’t get into this mess if Jumin had said something too.

“That won’t be fair to you.. I was still very attached to the late Jihyun. If I told you that I have feelings for you at that time, won’t I make you hope for it?… It’s a cruel thing to do ,”

“For someone who is known as the Ice Prince…,”

“When you experience it first hand, you won’t want that to happen to others too…,”

Zen kept his lips sealed, a little shock to hear that from Jumin. Could it be he and V really had that kind of relationship? The nagging question begs him to ask the other to confirm his suspicion. “..You and V.. are you guys like… dating.. or fucking.. or?”

“Once. When we’re in our teens,”

“Get your cherry popped?” Zen tried to tease.

“No… well, maybe for V… I had other encounters before that,”

“Dude, the fuck. How young did you-”

“16, and no, it’s non-consent. Let’s leave it at that,” Jumin cuts him off, putting that topic to rest. “I clung to Jihyun for emotional support and that habit followed till today. He didn’t protest and stayed no matter how difficult things get.. well.. until Rika appeared… I was jealous.. but Jihyun was happy with her. So, I let him go.. until things turned the other way around,” Jumin lets out a soft sigh. “I thought I could save him.. but he refused… and that’s when I dragged you down along my path,”

“And here we are, two selfish idiots finally realizing things a little too late,” the actor reached his free hand to gently caress the handsome face before him, running his thumb across the lips.

“Yeah,” Jumin leaned into the touch, eyes downcast and a melancholic smile on his features. “It’s unfortunate of us..,”

“Maybe.. in the next life..,” Zen closed the gap between them, tilting his head to a comfortable angle, brushing his lips gently over Jumin’s. Once, twice he brushed their lips experimentally and Jumin had welcomed the kiss with his lips parted, taking the lead to change the atmosphere before allowing Zen to take control of the kiss. Impatient and eager as always, Zen noted at the back of his mind He darted his tongue out, coaxing the other to a private dance of their own. Voluntarily, the director had his arms snaked around Zen’s waist, clenching his fist onto the cotton fabric of his t-shirt. He broke off the kiss to catch his breath and resumed, kissing the younger man hungrily, passionately - something that he had held back before this.  
“...Jumin… take it slow,” Zen warned, barely could catch his breath in between the kisses. He noticed Jumin is very very hungry for affection. Zen’s affection.

“..Sorry.. It’s hard to control myself when I let things flow,” rested his head on Zen’s shoulder after the heated kisses, hugging the other man tightly, a little to tight actually. If only things were different..  
“Stay at my place for the night?” He tried to bargain. It is a slim chance knowing Zen’s priority is MC.

“Of course…,” he didn’t expect a quick reply and an agreement too. His cheeks flushed red and he immediately shook the thought off. “You better show me things you have been hiding or I won’t forgive you for making me go behind MC’s back. I don’t take half-ass things for shit,” that smirk on Zen’s lips had Jumin grew uncomfortable in a good way. Jumin kept his cool and returned the favour by pressing their bodies closer, gliding his hand down to Zen’s abs, feeling it through the fabric of his t-shirt “Take me home and I will let you have it all,”


	19. Closure 2.0

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> brain dead. I can't. Q wQ

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi all!  
> I'm sorry for the sudden hiatus but I'm back with another short chapter. 
> 
> Work is getting to me but I'll be back and finishing this up soon!
> 
> Honestly this chapter is so abrupt because i'm forcing myself to write and commit to my promise to finish this chapter.  
> So, let's just say this is closure 2.0 and I've yet to pull out my big guns for an actual actual chapter after closure. please be patient! <3 and thank you for supporting my work!

Intoxicating.

This burning desires spreads through his body made his mind turned into a haze, like a drunken state - drugged to crave more for the source of these sensation. It’s too warm even with his shirt hang open, his chest naked to the view of anyone who is looking. His pants were long gone, kicked aside to the floor along with his briefs. “..Ryu..,” a moan escaped his lips with his hip bucked into the other’s hand. He needed more than this. It’s not enough. His carnal instinct is screaming for more attention to his body and his visuals isn’t satisfied when he can’t see what kind of expression Zen is making.

“Tch, impatient,” his ear caught a scolding but he didn’t care. He wants what he wants. He turned around with the given opportunity, latching his bounded wrists to the back of Zen’s neck and hungrily claimed the younger’s lips. He needed to verify that Zen wanted this as much as he wanted the other. He didn’t want to be alone, to be the only one to feel these intense feelings between them. Zen lets the man had his way, closing the small distance between their bodies. He held the other securely by his hip, their naked crotch rubbing together in between their stomach. Breaking the kiss, the actor trailed his lips to Jumin’s face, tracing the jaw, and down the strong neck line . His tongue lap on a spot that had earned him a sharp gasp - oh sensitive, are we? - he nip his teeth experimentally, eyes gleamed to discover a sensitive spot.

Jumin’s body tensed, arched towards the attention. He mewled a muffled moan, pressing his lips against his bicep. If “Ngh, Ryu.. Stop teasing,” His brows knotted as tightly as the coiled feeling in his stomach. He is probably too close, so close - he bucked his hips, thrusting into the touch. “Close..? You have to tell me what you want, Jumin.” he shivered how dangerously challenging Zen’s tone is. He whimpered and nodded, averting his gaze away. He is too flustered to speak another word, in fear to sound ridiculously clingy but he can’t lie when his body is screaming all the signs of wanting to be release of this torture.

“Bed. Now.”

Jumin swallowed in his groan when the actor moved, leaving him alone against the wall, denied of warmth and attention. He felt utterly naked even though there are no one else but the two of them in the room, vulnerable to be left in the open and his body is currently not listening to his own orders. With shaky legs, he dragged himself over to the bed and hoping he won’t stumble on the floor. He did though, on the bed miraculously. He grumbled a few cuss words which had Zen chuckling and finds it adorable. “C’mon, get yourself up in bed,” Zen pats a spot in the middle, waiting for the other to comply. Obediently, Jumin climbed up into it and rolled to lay on his back, knees bent and his legs spreads; submitting for his dominant partner.“Please… no more teasing.. ,” he begged.

“But isn’t it part of this..?” Ryu’s smirk grew wider as he lay on his side next to Jumin. His hand splayed on top of Jumin’s stomach, fingers dangerously low to brush against his loin that’s erect and hard. “You have to tell me what you want, Jumin,” His low humming voice thrummed in Jumin’s ears, plucking a low moan from his throat. “Ryu,..want..,” he tried to roll over to the source of warmth but was denied as he was pushed back to the mattress, Zen’s weigh pinning him down. “You were saying?” Zen whispered in a demanding tone, brushing his lips to Jumin’s ear shell.

“I want you,”

“Want me..? How badly?” Jumin bit his lower lip, he isn’t willing to let go of his pride to ask it in such a casual manner.“Please,” he tried to reach his bounded hands to Zen’s.

“Answer me, “ Zen removed himself, moved further away from Jumin’s reach. He wants Jumin to say those words he needs to hear; those words he knows the other won’t openly admit so easily in a normal circumstances. “Answer me or I’m leaving,”

“Ryu… please.. I want you.. need..,” Jumin gave in to begging, pleading with his cheeks burning red with embarrassment to break his usual cool character. “Ryu, please.. don’t do this..,”

“See, it’s not so bad, isn’t it?” satisfied even though it’s not the exact words but to see Jumin admitting and begging, it’s enough for Zen’s own pleasure to know where he stands. “You’re sort of cute when you beg,” a chuckle escape his lips as he lay a kiss on Jumin’s bare shoulder, sliding his arm under the other to lift him up enough to place a soft pillow for comfort.

“What are you doing?” asked the confused director.

“Making you comfortable..Why?,” a casual answer making the other felt more confused.

“You don’t have to,”

“I want to,” Zen finally had their eyes met as he settled himself in between Jumin’s legs, a small bottle of lubricant ready in his palm. “You’ve never let me treat you the way how I want to treat you,” he pours an amount into his palm and casually lathers it around his main two digits. “Let me make love with you,” the silver-white hair actor smiled warmly at the other and Jumin can’t help but to be affected by it. He gritted his teeth, clenched his jaw - he isn’t going to cry again - nope, he had enough of tear shedding and he didn’t want another session of it.

“You’re.. an idiot… Just do it already,” he brought his hand up to cover his view from looking directly at the man before him.

* * *

 

They had been in the same position for the past ten minutes but Jumin can’t be bothered to move. Instead he enveloped his arms around Zen’s body tighter, closer - if he could. He wanted to be as close to Zen as long as time will allow him to. For once, he allowed himself to think selfishly - he had thought of the many ways to convince the other to leave this place with him, start over a new life, and maybe - just maybe they can be happy. They could leave this country and restart with a new identity, a new life. Zen will probably enjoy watching Jumin struggle to live a commoner’s life and -

“You alright?” A kiss on his forehead had him awake from his train of thoughts. “You looked like you’re in deep thoughts”

“.…Do you want to run away with me?” Jumin’s abrupt question caught Zen off guard. “What?” Zen quirked a brow up, waiting for an explanation.

“I.. drafted a plan a few minutes ago… to run away from Korea and start a new life,”

“.…Let me guess, it’s planned 5 years in advance, you have the accommodation and transportation figured out, and at the very least Elizabeth 3rd is coming too.. yes?” they shifted, laying on their sides and had their legs entwined under the sheets. Zen lets the other used his arm as a pillow- or rather his whole form, apparently Jumin is holding him like he is a bolster.

“Yes… and no.. Elizabeth 3rd is not coming,”

“Come now Jumin, you know it’ll be hard.. and you can’t really escape the media… Everyone in the business world knows what C & R is and who is the man behind the company. Besides, I don’t think Elly will be happy if you leave her like that,” Jumin figured the other would say so. Yeah, he can’t leave his Princess… She’ll probably die.. but he couldn’t keep her any longer either.

“..Do you think Yoosung will be okay to adopt Elizabeth 3rd?,”

“...I’m not sure? You can ask.. ”Zen grew worried of Jumin’s sudden question. Is there something Zen had missed out in their closure or Jumin is acting out his tantrum again??

“..No, I’m not giving up on her. I don’t think I could take care of her and I feel it’s best I can give her up to the best person that knows how to take care of a cat,”

“How bout Seven?,”

“Please don’t ever bring up that cat abuser’s name…,”

“but why of all the sudden, Jumin? It’s not like you to suddenly giving up on her. You’re not really going to run away are you?”

“.…Sarah Choi doesn’t like cats..,” Jumin answered shortly, doodling his fingers down Zen’s naked chest. “I can’t trust her with Elizabeth 3rd if I am going to go on business trips,”

“What does Sarah has to do with Elizabeth?” Zen can’t help it when he can’t read in between the lines. Jumin isn’t being clear what he is trying to tell. “And how does this goes about you wanting to run away and start a new life?”

Jumin drew out a soft sigh and took a moment to gather his words. He didn’t want to repeat himself if Zen still couldn’t figure things out - though to be honest, he himself speaks like a puzzle. He lifted his gaze up to met those confused crimson eyes and hold their gaze for a while before closing his eyes shut.

“Zen, I’m getting married to her soon,”


	20. Bittersweet.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Like dark chocolate.

2am

 

”…I’m not suprised after all that had happened for the past week,” Zen couldn’t help but to expressed his disappointment in his voice. “In my opinion, that is probably your stupidest decision by far… but you probably agreed under pressure and stress..,” He clenched his teeth, frustration slowly building up in his system. Is it jealousy? Perhaps, since they’ve finally confessed their true feelings to each other. Or is he just salty how easy Jumin make a decision when things doesn’t work his way. Still, agreeing to that damn arrangement left a bad taste in his mouth. Didn’t Jumin said that all those bitches only aimed for his family’s riches?

“Yes, it is …but-”

“Surely, you were not limited to that option right? Knowing you, there’s probably plan A to Z,” Zen cuts in, he didn’t want to hear any explanations coming from Jumin’s lips. He thought they could part way in peace but this piece of information is giving him hell - anyone but Sarah Choi. With the research Seven and Yoosung had discovered over the course of few weeks before the party, Zen couldn’t help but cringe how he sees highly of the Chois.

“Yes, there are… but-”

“Did you think this news will threw me off? Well, it did and I’m sort of angry.. but I respect your decision because this is your life after all. You dictate what you think is right,” he clicked his tongue, letting out whatever he had in mind. He just can’t filter himself well and he knows these words probably hurt Jumin more than the news he had received.

“..okay,” the young director resigned his efforts to speak. It is a useless effort to explain when the person before him is too consumed with his anger. There is no way Zen will listen until he is done ranting out his frustration. He will have to wait until the silver-haired actor is a little more calm.

At least Zen did not leave the room or push Jumin off from the embrace they are sharing.

“...Why, Jumin.. Why did you agree with the arrangement?” Zen finally gave in, his mind - although it felt like a tornado had crashed through - finally calmed from all the waves of anger. He still thinks that the idea is absurd and stupid - Jumin is technically selling himself to bankruptcy if he isn’t careful around Sarah. Or maybe he has other plans that he should listen.

“I want to rebuilt my relationship with my father.. and I figured that my father wants a successor as well. If it’s the only way to appease him, have him get off my case, then I will do it. Honestly, it is no issue if money is what they want,” his brow knot to the middle when Zen’s face contorted into an annoyance. He knows how much Zen detest the idea where he could buy off others with money. But this case is an isolate case - but not a huge problem for Jumin. “Besides, prenupt exist for a reason. I could discuss it over with her and make the marriage shorter. It’s technically business transaction for them, and as long they get what they want.. it is not that difficult from my stand point…,”

“...I still think it’s a stupid idea… What if she gets pregnant?” Zen huffed, blowing his front bangs away from his eyes, tugging his lip into a frown. He worries that Jumin will be tied down and remain lonely like he is. Gently, he ran his fingers through Jumin’s dark locks- the tip of his nails grazed upon the scalp, earned a soft hum from the older man.

“..only if my father demands for an heir… but I highly doubt it will happen. Sarah might freak out… and my interest lies with you,” a small smile played on those devilish lips of his, Zen still couldn’t fit those puzzle pieces; the serious Jumin and the playful Jumin, together. It is a total mismatch and… and.. Fucking Gap Moe (according to the memelord of RFA). “Still… I want you to focus on Mc… I can see that she loves you… and you love her too. So… Don’t forget to name your first kid after me,”

“In your fucking dreams, Trust Fund Kid.” the actor laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of Jumin’s head and to his forehead.

“I’ll return the favour and make a trust fund for your kid, then. I’m going to be that cool uncle,” a rumble of laughter came from the man in his arms. Zen can’t help but to join in, having their foreheads touch in that comforting intimate moment.

“Jumin, shut the fuck up,”

“Make me,” and Zen did, sealing their lips together - turning the kiss into a heated, non-verbal argument. Each of them fought for dominance over the other, neither are backing down or giving in until their lungs screamed for air. “At this rate..,” Jumin spoke in between deep breathes, ghosting his lips at the corner of Zen’s lips and hooked his arms under Zen’s, holding him securely by his shoulder blades. “…We won’t be sleeping,” he casually nip on Zen’s lower lip, poking the lush lip with the tip og his tongue.

“Who said that we are?” Zen growled, rolling them over to top Jumin, attacking the older man’s lips for another round of kisses.

 

* * *

4 am

 

Jumin stayed in his silence and watched the man sleeping next to him. He really couldn’t find sleep - not with the feeling that’s growing painfully heavy in his chest as the time ticks closer and closer to tomorrow. He has his eyes cast to Jumin’s sleeping face, adoring how peaceful he looks in his sleep while feeling the rise and fall of his chest in a slow, relaxed tempo. This point in time has always been Jumin’s private moment where he is able to savour the pretty sight of his sleeping partner next to him, appreciating all the joys he had experienced with the actor.

The nights when he barely could catch a wink of sleep or the evenings when books aren’t distracting his mind, this was his best cure - chasing off all of the haunting thoughts of what ifs from his mind. He finally figured out why he caught himself scrolling through Zen’s selfies album in his smartphone or the time he randomly admires the polaroid pictures of him and Zen on his working desk. It kept him motivated and he does felt a little calm whenever his eyes caught sight of this beautiful creature - probably by now, prettier than his own Princess. Ha! Zen would make him say those words over and over if Jumin ever said that out loud. Not that he mind to be honest. A smile twitch on his lips and he land a soft kiss to Zen’s crown before rolling off to his side of the bed, sitting upright with the blanket covering his naked half. He had reached for his journal that he had always kept on top of his nightstand, flipping to the middle of the book, then begun writing down on the fresh empty page, a short list of all the RFA members.

The first name; Yoosung. A student who was suppose to be studying hard for his future. Based on the conversation he had with the boy’s mother, Yoosung has a bright future if he could just focus on his studies than getting distracted with the game he has been raving all day. Some days in the chatroom whenever he sees Yoosung online, he wonders if all Yoosung need was some kind of motivation to keep his grades up. The blonde boy is a bright mind; like his name, a shooting star. Among his peers, Jumin believes Yoosung can actually graduate with first class degree. The director wonders if he offers a scholarship and paid internship at C & R’s Health Department… will the boy able to focus better? Or perhaps, Jumin could offer the boy Elizabeth 3rd to keep the boy feeling more loved understood. She has been one of Jumin’s best cure when he himself felt lonely. “Scholarship and Elizabeth 3rd then,” he mumbled to himself as he pen down ‘Scholarship’ and “Elizabeth 3rd” next to Yoosung’s name.

Luciel…. Ah… The talented genius who could live a better lifestyle… and with his brother on board, he is probably unable to take up any freelance jobs after all the fiasco. Jumin underlined the red-haired hacker’s name a couple of times as his mind runs to think of ways to offer aid to Luciel. With Saeran on board and still relying on Luciel for support, plus the lack of high paying jobs that can support the lifestyle Luciel is used to having and the additional fiasco from Luciel’s previous company that he had worked with, all Jumin could conclude is that he can offer the best securities and pay forward all the utility bills for Luciel’s home right until Saeran is recovered and is capable to secure a job. Noting on Saeran… Jumin jotted down a couple of notes and made a circle around a couple of numbers, linking it back to Luciel’s name. The twins will need monetary support for Saeran’s hospital bills and Luciel can focus to pay half of the utility bills.

He moved his pen down to the next name and hovered above Rika’s. He paused, mind churned with a couple of emotions that he barely could figure out. He felt anger and sadness. Is he still bitter…? Perhaps… perhaps he did wanted to blame her for the reality everyone in the RFA is facing.. Perhaps he was angry how easily she swept V off his feet and stole the man away from Jumin. Or perhaps he is angry with himself for not being able to be the first to help or to put things to a stop when Rika had showed signs of her symptoms- no one will end up hurting.. or claimed by death. He sighed softly, leaving an empty space next to her name. He’ll come up with something for her soon aside of helping her to go through therapy.

Then there’s Jaehee, his most trusted and reliable chief assistant. The woman sacrificed a lot of her time to help him achieve his goals in this company and his selfish needs for the cat-related business. Not to mention her dedication for RFA. He probably owned all of his nine-lives to this woman’s attention to detail and her skills honed to perfection. No doubt, he was demanding towards her with ridiculous inquiries; especially on the way how she should look but he knows that it’s the best treatment for a person who seemed naive on her outlook. He didn’t want history to repeat over and over, plus her potential to rise.. He definitely believes that she is more than capable to handle her own personal franchis. And he penned “Franchise” in her column. This way she’ll be able to plan her own holidays without worrying about reporting to anyone. Given that the business runs smoothly.

Then, what’s left is Zen and Mc. He strikes out the personal column for MC and placed her name next to Zen, paused for a moment as his eyes glued to those two names, still empty and untouched. …These two.. Jumin tucked his lip under his teeth as he stare onto the names… nothing came upon his mind but for a trust fund for their child… However, it is still too early to even promise them these. People change across time. Not that he wished things to end for this couple but Jumin is only human. He is only human for his selfish heart yearned to be the only one for this man.

“Jumin, get back here,” Jumin was caught by surprise to the other who had scoot closer towards him, laying his head on Jumin’s lap. “work later,” Zen yawned wide, pushing his long hair away from his neck.

“It is going to be 8am,” the director rake his fingers through the other’s lock - feeling the strands glide through the fabric of his gloves. Ah… he noticed how odd it is to wear gloves in this setting. He is grateful that Zen never really question why and lets it slide even though it’s so obvious how awkward and out of place the accessories is. “I need to go to work soon,”

“hnghhhh,” Zen grumbled and that made Jumin laughed at how child-like Zen can be when he is too tired to even open his eyes. He is going to miss this man…

* * *

10 am

 

Morning finally came for the actor. Fully awake and with a cup of coffee in hand and his phone in his other as he scrolled through the chatroom. “Everyone is back to work. Shouldn’t you call in or something? Jaehee is worried, should I tell her?,”

“No, just let it be… My phone died,” Jumin replied in his usual monotone voice as he puts on his shirt, buttoning it down one at a time while adjusting his collar. He kept in his own pace to ready himself, double-checking his image on the mirror to make sure the lines and the shape is in place, purposely dragging the time as he dressed for work. He is suppose to be in his office an hour ago and he had turned off his phone to stop Jaehee from nagging him down for coming in so late.

Selfishly, he had lied to buy more time.

He needs a little more time.

Just a little more before they said their last goodbyes. He isn’t ready even though he was the one whom had stated that they shouldn’t be seeing each other anymore. Zen has to focus on MC and Jumin has to be fair towards Sarah. 

“Do you need me to help you choose a tie?” Jumin snapped his head up and to find Zen standing behind him, arms around his waist, his chin rested on the director’s shoulder. “You said you hate choosing a tie every morning,” the younger man reached into the drawer and picked a black tie with a vague diamond pattern that only reflected under the light - a perfect match with his navy blue suit and matching pants to go with his black Salvator Ferragamo (Zen was dragged along to help Jumin to purchase this pair specifically). Zen worked his fingers to tie the necktie with care (in Jumin’s perspective, the knot is a bit too crooked but he stayed in silence), tucking the collar into position and smooth down the suit. He watched the other man working on the accessory through the reflection of the mirror, adoring that determined look as he work on the tie. The same look he had always showed when he tried to reach out to Jumin each time they had a fall out. “I know, it is shitty. The look on your face says It all,” Zen broke the painful silence between them and puts on his best smile as their eyes met in the mirror in front of them.

“I’ll wear it as it is,” the man turned around and enveloped his arms around the other. He didn’t want to show his pitiful look.

“We need to go, “ his young lover whispered softly into his ears, pulling him closer till he could feel their heart beating through their chest. They had stood long enough until their heart beats in one rhythm.

Never in his life, probably second to V’s death, never had he prayed so hard in his heart and wished that Zen will stay. Jumin had never felt this selfish in his 27 years of living, wanting to own and to be owned. His inner mind screamed, wanting to ask the other man again if he is still taking up his offer to run away. They could live a life of their own without any expectations or pressure from the society around them. Being unknown, nameless, but a someone for one another - Jumin is content to be able to live such an easy life. But alas, he knew that Zen is not like him - Running away is similar to killing Zen’s dream to be a recognized artist… His fingers curled in tightly to the fabric of Zen’s shirt - lucky that he has the gloves on to avoid his nails from sinking into his own palm.

“Yeah… we should,” he reached for Zen’s hand, lacing their fingers together an held to them tightly. “My driver is probably waiting..,” he mumbled as his other free hand caress Zen’s beautiful face, tenderly cupping his face and leans in for a final kiss.

Bittersweet kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably done with this whole thing! GG.com  
> Yes, this is the ending!  
> But fret not, there will be an epilogue to explain his gloves and the few tid bits that i think was not explained in the story! Let me know if there is something missing and you'd like me to fill me in too. My work is taking over - so my updates are getting later and later. ; w; I'm giving leeway for two weeks. but yeah! drop me a comment if there's something missing and you'd like me to fill it up in the epilogue.


	21. Epilogue

”Mmm..?”… a dream? He shield his sensitive eyes from the glaring sun ray peeking from between the blinders. Fluttering his eyes shut, he wonders what’s the time now and how long had he been asleep? How tired was he to dream of something from the past? Maybe the jet-lag is to be blame - it was a 13 hours flight from the States and he wasn’t able to sleep on flight to begin with. It was his first flight back home after being away for 4 years from home for a special occasion.

In his groggy state, he stretched his arms above his head and lifted his hips up from the cushioned surface to let his spine aligned and stiff back muscles moved - and oh does he feels the ache on his back and shoulders for sleeping on the sofa instead of his bed. He gently settle himself back down and protectively placed his hand on a small bundle that is sleeping soundly on top of his chest, keeping him company with her warmth. He gently caress her delicate form and wondered how lucky he is to have her as a companion.

“Soo Min,” he cooed her name and the small child stirred in her sleep as if she had heard him, her head lifted up from his chest as she tried to open her tired eyes. He chuckled softly how innocent and adorable she is, shifting her up higher to his chest, soothed her for the much needed sleep. He can’t help from bullying her time to time when he has the chance for the past 4 months. Her reaction was too priceless and that had kept his life quite lively.

“Jumin-shi~” Sarah came through the living room, a look of annoyance and a pout Jumin had grew accustomed to for the past two years. “I thought that you’ll be here. Can we get one of the chefs to come up soon? I’m hungry and we need to get Soo Min bathe and fed too. I want to get things done because I have an appointment later after dinner with my sister…,”

“Sarah, you just need to dial 0 and tell the receptionist…,” Jumin tried to reason with his wife who is still sulking.

“But I don’t want to… I’m tired, Jumin-shi~,” Jumin rolled his eyes at her but lets the topic slide. “Get the phone, please?” Jumin lifted his hand up to her and awaits for her to hand his smart phone to him. She did and sat on the sofa that he is currently lying on with their daughter, a gleeful smile on her face as she watches him called up for a chef to come up to their floor. “It’s not that difficult to call them, Sarah,”

“I know! I just like ordering you around and you look cool,” the red-haired woman stuck her tongue out playfully. “I don’t think I’ll be able to boss you around once that date comes. So just bear with me a little,” she crossed her arms, her chin lifted upwards- a weak attempt to act offended but she knows Jumin knows that she’s fooling around.

“Are you going to discuss with your sister about it too?”

“Probably not, I’m tired of being her pawn and I really want to start a proper business. Having everything is nothing if I don’t know how to maintain it,” Sarah sighed with a bored expression on her face. “and I feel it is cool to be your own boss,”

“Alright.. Maybe we can discuss about the contract and we can follow up before we finalize everything by the end of the year,” Jumin nodded his head. Married to Sarah wasn’t as bad as he what he had originally expected. The woman is quite level headed and she was reasonable when they sit down and discussed to solve their marital and personal issues. Instead of being enemies in soap operas, they tolerate with each other and developed their bonds into friendship along the years. They did tried to go on proper dates but decided that they’re better as friends. Sarah is more interested to build a career and Jumin isn’t really into women. They had come clean about this and agreed that as long as they respect each other and brings no shame to the family’s name, they can do whatever they want. How Soo-Min came into the picture was an interesting story to tell on another day.

“Please don’t forget to change your gloves. I’ve bought you more gloves before our flight and it’s in the top drawer before your belts. And~! don’t forget to contact your therapist to reschedule the appointments you’re going to miss next month,” Sarah carefully lifted up the sleeping baby from his chest. “Come now, Min-Min~! Let’s get you bathe and fed,” his wife hummed cheerfully as she walked out with their daughter.

The director parted his lips for another sigh to escape from him, lifting one of his hands up to level with his view. Fingers curled and formed into a fist as he feel the fabric rubbed against his skin. Those painful memories - although he had come to accept it, he can’t let it go. He neither could forgive himself or forget the sight of V’s life slipped from between his fingers. Although the sight of blood no longer haunts him, he dares not to touch anything directly with these hands of his. He has this unexplained and irrational fear to feel or touch any living things without gloves. He only took notice of this abnormal behaviour of his when Sarah pointed it out during their 3rd check up at the maternity clinic. Lucky for Jumin that Sarah was understanding and persuaded him to seek professional help. Well, she had sort of threatened him that she won’t let him see the baby if he refused… That memory had Jumin’s lips twitched upwards; amused that life didn’t turn out so horrible for him.

\--

It was a small ceremony in a garden with a small crowd made up of families and close friends. The bride was beaming beautifully next to Saeyoung by the podium. Vows were exchanged and the couple kissed to seal their oath to one another infront of the small audience whom cheered happily once they walked down the aisle.

“Ah, Jumin!!,” a familiar blond came running his way and my how he had grown taller. Yoosung looked more mature than he was and he seemed to carry a confident air around him as he greeted Jumin again. “Is this Soo Min?! She’s so cute~!” the blonde squealed and looked at Jumin with his begging puppy eyes, silently asking permission to touch his daughter. The director wondered if this is the look and behaviour Saeran has to put up with at their work place (both of them are working at a vet sponsored by C & R; Saeran mostly handles grooming while Yoosung is doing internship for his final year).  It is not a wonder when he received reports of Saeran requesting irregular hours to avoid being around Yoosung as much. 

“Yes, glad to finally introduce her to you,” the director smiled and lets the blonde hold on to the baby who somewhat had a blank stare at the strange person. Yoosung thought he had seen that look from somewhere. “Ah, I have to go! Gotta do what bestman gotta do! I’ll see you later at the reception!,” Yoosung quickly excused himself when Saeran called out to him. Jaehee was there too, her hair longer, (is that a new assistant next to her?) and with a wide grin when she noticed Jumin was looking over at them. He waved at the the three of them and nodded as a signal that he will catch up with them at the reception later. “Come Soo Min, it’s time to go~,” He smiled at his daughter who was busy biting her fingers, saliva dripping down her chin. Guh, too cute! Jumin fished out his phone and had to take a couple of pictures of his princess.

“Alone with your daughter?” a voice he knew too well greeted his ears. He lifted his gaze away from his screen and there stood the face of South Korea’s number one favourite talent, his signature charming smile carved on his handsome face which now has more prominently masculine features.“Mind if I join you and your daughter’s company?” Zen approached the two. Jumin had noticed how different the actor is now compared he was back then. His sense of style - although still tacky has improved and he looked better in the urban formal wear - a pair of washed out jeans and black turtle neck, an expensive modernized white blazer that has a military feel to it which was complimented with the dark green military boots. His tail has grown longer and kept in a neat man bun.

“As long as you don’t steal her heart, I’ll gladly welcome you. Soo Min isn’t a rebound for a charmer like you,” Jumin teased lightheartedly as he hugged her close to his chest.

“I doubt that I will do such a thing towards a lovely Princess~!,” Zen laughed and lets Soo Min curls her tiny fingers around his index finger. “I don’t harbor any ill feelings to MC. We had tried but things don’t work out. I am glad she is happy now. That’s life,” Zen explained without being asked, his now more calm and level-headed behaviour didn’t go unnoticed by Jumin. Hmm, maybe being away from everyone after the changes he had made wasn’t such a bad thing after all - a total relief for the director.

“Well, what are we waiting for? We’re going to be late for the reception!,” Zen held Jumin by the wrist and hooked the director’s hand to his muscular arm, completely reducing the zone between them. “For old time’s sake and to humor Saeyoung, let’s go in like this!” Zen explained the confused man. His contagious laughter made Jumin laughed along, feeling a blush crept up his face. 

“Ah, yes. Let’s” Jumin returned the warm smile as they walked down the aisle of the empty hall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the end of Distorted. I truly enjoyed my writing process and how I've come this far.  
> I hope all of you enjoy this.  
> I am truly grateful for all the encouraging comments and kudos I had received from the beginning of the story all the way to now! It kept me motivated and pushed me to stay committed by completing this whole thing. 
> 
> Special thanks to CapitolScum & RedKidy, for the brain storming process. It had been a pleasure to share discussions and exchange views about MM. Your suggestions and support inspired me to finish this. ; w; Forever in your debt. 
> 
> I'm now going to rest my poor brain and hopefully this epilogue serves as an alternative ending to those who wished for a happier fluff ending and hopefully it answered some of the questions that was unanswered. 
> 
> With this, I take my bow and until next time! 
> 
> //coughI'mcurrentlydraftinganewstory!


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